In Christ Alone our Hope is Found

I started writing this about 10 days ago. It has been just sitting as a draft. I couldn't make sense of it. I kind of still can't. This is the best I can do and I really want to post it. I just read it through and it made me cry. The reality of where we have been doesn't always makes me sad. Sometimes it fills me with such intense gratitude that it makes me weep. It also makes me reflect on where we are going and what God is asking us to do. It won't be always be easy, but I feel joy at the thought.  But that is for another time.This post is nothing profound. I couldn't quite articulate all I was trying to say and it is a bit messy. Through my weak words and unorganized thoughts, I hope you can see the mighty God that I serve. ________________________________________________________________________________ Most of the time I write things for myself, but this time it's a little different. It is still for myself, but I really want people to read this and see th

Today I went to go see my new nephew, Levi. He is so soft and sweet! Ken's sister and her husband, Greg had a little boy last night. Oh, what beautiful news. I cried and cried when I heard the news. All babies are special, but some just a little more so. What did my kids do today? Really, I am so glad you asked! (O: Note the bow in Nads hair combined with the mud. That says a lot about her. Poor bunny lunny should have stayed inside! (o: She just realized that dirty is not all that fun, when the mud starts to dry. 

I have this huge post that I wrote last week, but I can`t get it out right. Every time I sit to write, I think I am going to work on that post, but I think I quit! It was about looking back at my updates and seeing how the Lord held us and how He has given us the things we were too scared to hope for. It really is a story of the grace of God and the amazing miracles He has given. I will stick to my randoms for now! We got Micah's scan date in the mail today. He is having an MRI of his chest, Ab and pelvis on Tues, July 3. It just feels like we finished that crazy roller coaster from last time. It is our last 3 month scan. If this is clear, we will be moving to every 6 months. That's a big deal. I am so thankful for air conditioning today. What would I do without it? I would be hot. I don't like hot. I actually quite despise hot! (o; We did some school this morning. We are winding down. My dad invited the kids for lunch, so they went there for a couple of hours. So I

Today was dentist day for the kids. We spent 2 hours at the health unit. Because we don't have benifits we qualify to get a cleaning/check up for the kids for free. If they have cavities, they also get fillings for free. This is the second time we have gone. I wish we would have known about this a few years ago.  This is truly a blessing for us. Our kids don't' have fabulously strong teeth. They are expensive. Today there were no fillings needed! Yay. For the older three it's probably because there are no more teeth to be filled! (O: This is odd to me, but in the dental office there is also a sexual health clinic. You wouldn't know it by looking at it. It is a space truly made for kids. As I was waiting at the desk to make an appointment for next year I noticed the form you have to fill out for the sexual health clinic. You have to check a box to tell them why you want to see a nurse. One of the boxes gave the option to get a morning after pill. You can serious

I have some picture. These are the last pictures I have taken and they are pretty much just of the girls. I have to be more intentional in taking more pics of the boys! (O; Nads in her new glasses. She loves this picture because her hair was really curly from braids. Excuse her low shirt. It was the first time she was wearing this shirt and we realized she needed an undershirt after these pics! (o:  She likes it!  Yummy shrimp kabobs that Ken made. (marinated in italian dressing. delight.) I love how she loves her bunny. Sweet dirty sleeping baby feet! Nata made mud pies. In typical girly form she put flowers on each one. Love this! I am trying to figure out how to top last years Father's Day present! This was the best! (It's a garden stone.) Grace putting the Rescue Heroes to bed on the drive way.  She is making sure they are sleeping. She is telling them to be quiet!  Eating yogurt with bunny on the a stool. She is gett

I just came across something as I was going through my bottom shelf in my room, that has shaken my heart to the core. It is physically painful to me. So much so, that I asked my mom to take my kids for half hour to work through it. I can hardly see to write this, but it's a way for me to get it out and put it aside. I have a whole bunch of Micah's hospital stuff still. I don't want to keep it, but I can't get rid of it . I came across a sketch pad that he drew on while he was recovering from his first surgery. He was 5. The picture is a hospital bed with Josh sitting on the edge. I even found one with a cathetar, drainage tube and iv pole. He was very observant. This was before we knew forsure it was cancer. I found his white binder with all the drug info for each of the chemo drugs. It has pages and pages of blood counts, a calendar of all of his appointments, a list of all of his bravery beads in case we lost them and info on his particular kind of cancer. I

At this minute, this is what my house looks like. I am not sure why I feel the need to share. Someday when I look back I may miss the tornadoes that run through? Tonight was nuts. It's the first baseball game of the season and Ken got home a little late, so supper didn't really work. I had Nasi made, but Ken and the two boys just grabbed peanut butter sandwiches. I am going to leave everything and try to get the pressure washer started to do the deck.  It is kind of slimy looking and I want to put things on it. I will clean up later!  Usually my house in this state makes me crazy, but today I  just can't care. I don't have time!  Below is our Granny flat that we use as part of our house. It is our dining room/school room with a big bathroom with laundry. Siah's room is here too. It would be easy to put back into a Granny. You just need the door back on! I am going to miss this light airy room. The windows are nice and big and it always feels sunny in there! It

This picture was taken by Kim while Ken and I were away in Collingwood. 

Don't look at my grammar, spelling or the fact that words might be missing or in the wrong spot. I just wanted to write about my day and I only have about 10 minutes! (o: My day consisted of : kids, de-cluttering, good music, wash, bathroom cleaning,  food network show, saw my sister, mom and nephew, watched Courageous for quiet time, thought about the logistic of being in the States and weighed the options of renting our house out or selling about 55 times. Today is day 3 of Ken being gone and we are doing just fine! (o;. We are keeping busy. We watched a "from conception to birth" thing on facebook. Most of it was not real life. Josh and Micah know all the details of conception and birth. Nata knows a little. I was explaining to Siah that an egg and sperm come together to make a baby. I didn't even include that one comes from mom and one from dad. He is way too perceptive to start that now. But he saw the picture of the baby in the sack and it looked like an e

Yes, it's time that almost all my kid's ages are even. (14, 10, 8, 6, 2) Just Grace needs to turn two yet! (O:  I love even! I am kind of a dork that way. Yes, it's time that school is winding down. Ken has about 25 (ish?) more teaching days. Yes, it's time that I start packing and continue to organize and get rid of LOTS of stuff. Yes, its time that I start seeing if Pips wants to start checking out the toilet. Yes, it's time that grass and trees are starting to look beautiful. Our red maples bloomed while we were in Collingwood. It sounds silly, but I will miss those trees. They are so beautiful out our front window. Yes, it's time that baseball practice starts for the boys and that we need to start juggling 3 baseball schedules. BUT most of all it's time I start to get paranoid about BATS. Indeed. In the spring/summer my kids leave the doors open all the time. In the evening it is easy for bats to scoot in. Last summer we had a bat in the ho

There is part of me that wants to do a quick post. I want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with Micah, so let's us all be thankful, praise the Lord and move on. My posts for the last 2 weeks have been consumed with concerns and prayer requests and I am ready for cheery! (O: We are so thankful that through our beautiful boy, God has shown his power and his mercy. He has shown all who have watched, God's character and how He does perform miracles. But I wouldn't be honest or be telling the whole story if I didn't tell you that today was so hard and that I am so emotionally exhausted that I would like to put the covers over my head for a week. The tension of today and last weeks brought me to tears tonight. There were lots of them. I really did struggle with anger coming home. I was thankful. But when you hear there are details to discuss about a scan, that doesn't sound OK. Details sound negative to me. But everyone uses and perceives words differently. Als

I just got an email from Micah's doctor. She said there is no "evidence of disease". We are amazingly thankful and praise God for his blessings.  Micah has an appointment on Monday. He will get blood done and his doctor will check him out. In her email she said that although there is no sign of disease, there are some "details" of the scan we need to discuss. I am not sure what that means. Thank you for praying and loving us. I almost hesitate to ask. I feel like you have given so much already... But could you please pray that those details are very small ones? With so much love and thanks, Ken and Belinda

We  don't have anything yet.. I am leaving to go pick Ken up from school and we are going on to Collingwood to spend some much needed time together. I normally would be squealing and jumping up and down with delight at the prospect of 3 days with Ken alone, just as husband and wife. But we are a little burdened down with the thought of scan results, but are still so thankful for the time we will have together. But for the fifth time, God's timing is perfect. I know it in my mind very well. I am struggling to feel it in my heart today though.  I will give you an update as soon as I can.   Please keep praying for peace. 

I just wanted to let you know that we have no news yet. )O: I called today at 4:30 and left a message asking them to call me first thing in the morning. We are very ready to hear the results whatever they are! We are not incredibly anxious. But we are getting tired. It's a hard to explain tired. We know for sure that God's hand is in this delay. I will post in the morning after I talk to someone at the hospital. Thank you so much for continuing to love us and lift us before the throne of the Almighty.

I have never posted so much in my life! (O: I actually feel like I need to talk to you all. It is a nice feeling. Really. Today must be the day we find out if our boy is still healthy. Saying that it would be a beautiful blessing doesn't really capture it. I can almost taste those results. He looks so healthy. He has his tired days and sometimes he feels blah and has a stomach ache, but I think that is just how he is now. I wish I could just go on how he looks. But cancer can be deceiving. You just never know. I just had to tell you that I woke up with sweet peace and dare I say joy! (O: The Lord is answering all your prayers. I feel confident that Micah and our family are in the Lord's hands. Regardless of the road He puts us on: cancer, sorrow and death, or health and seminary, He is good. Anything that happens will be used to strengthen and sanctify us and I pray bring glory to His name. Micah is struggling a little this morning. He is super tired and a little down. It

A few people have told me they keeping checking here for results. So I will  give you what I have. Nothing. I have nothing! The hospital just called and told me that there is not even any prelim results. It is odd. We usually have prelims with in a few days, 3 tops. I am truly thankful they called. That was very considerate of them to let me know they didn't forget to look. I appreciate that so much. So we wait and pray. Truthfully, I have had a hard day. My tears are close to the surface and my mind is wondering to the what ifs. Really, if could simply be back log at the hospital. It probably is. I know God is faithful and there is a reason it is taking so long. We may never know why but, nothing is for nothing. Or everything is for something. Those last two lines make sense to me, even if they don't to you! (O: Tomorrow must be the day. I came across a picture today that is pretty old. It was from September 2010. It was taken on my 34th birthday. I have posted it