In Christ Alone our Hope is Found

I was on facebook yesterday and one of my memories was that I blogged  this post called "One Year Later and Still Safe"  in 2011. It marked one year since Micah's lung surgery. (This is my favorite picture from that post. It was taken the night before Micah's surgery. They were so relaxed. It was a blessing for us in the face of the unknown. Just look at that little Micah and sweet Josiah. So melty  It's fun to compare this picture with the Micah and Josiah in the side bar. They have grown so much! (:  ) Post Edit: I just re-read my post. Often I find mistakes when I look with fresh eyes after I post something. (: As I was looking at this picture again, I was thinking about how old these boys were here. Micah had just turned 8 and Josiah was just turning 4 in the next month. That means that Natalie was Grace's age and was just going to turn 6 and Josh was almost 12, which is how old Natalie is now.  It sure gives me perspective and makes me think. Josh had...

It's been 6 years since Micah relapsed. That day and the months following were days that we clung to the Lord in a way that I am not sure how to describe. It was also a time that the Lord drew near to us in a way that I sometimes long for.  When I think of Dec 7, 2009- March 2010 (and even into that next year), I think of it as a time that is set apart. In a way it was a time that our world stopped. I remembered that this day was coming this past Saturday and have been thinking about writing this post. Over the past days I have gone through my binder and read the emails I had sent out at that time to all of our pray-ers and it brought it back to me. It was not a time of sadness for me. Just a time of remembering. This morning when I was on facebook, my 'facebook memories' came up and a post that I had shared one year past Micah's relapse came up. I am going to share that one today. We are definitely through the storm and the sadness and darkness are far behind us....

I have thought about heaven a lot since Micah was sick. There were moments my heart physically hurt because the longing was so great to be at the feet of Jesus and to be in a place where there was no sin, suffering or pain. Our Pastor read the first verses of Revelation 21 at the very end of his sermon many years ago, the Sunday after Micah relapsed. I will never forget sitting in my pew so overcome with emotion. I was beside myself with grief  because of our pain, but there was also such hope in the gospel. The beauty of those words finally connected with me that day.  A few weeks ago those verses were quoted off the pulpit again and it still fills my chest with intense longing. I have been thinking about death more than usual since Dr Murray had an introduction to his sermon that asked the question, "Who would you die for?". He listed many people as options. I was shocked to realize that my list is short and almost non-existent. My list would be much longer if Doc would h...

It has been a big week in our house. Lots of things are happening. First, Grace is getting BIG. I love this picture of her working on her math. Look at her little hands. Sweetness. These are the images I need to bottle! A little funny story about Grace. As went across the border this week, the guard asked if we had any fruits and veggies in our snacks and I said no. Grace chimed in from the back, "BUT we have BUNNY with us!!!" The guy loved her and told her bunny looks like she needs a bath! (:  She tends to lighten things up at the border. Although some of those people have hearts of stone and just want to cause problems for people!! They often do a roll call of the kids from our paper work. When they call her name she smiles and waves with her big dimples showing, almost like we coached her to charm them. It usually works! (: Last Thurday, the kids and I drove to Canada for Micah's first aftercare appointment. We saw old people and new. We hugged and smiled. I m...

I remember standing inside Micah's hospital room five years ago listening to the surgeon talk to the residents outside our door. I was just going out to get some water and I stopped to listened. He was giving Micah's history. It was a little fuzzy because the sound was coming through the door. But one of the residence must have asked, "What will happen next?" or "What are Micah's chances?" I heard Dr Merritt say, "I don't know. I did my best and we will see what happens." Those words come back to me often when I think of where we are today. Dr Merritt didn't know, but the Lord sure did and He had something beautiful in mind for our boy and family. God has given Micah 5 very healthy years. We could have never even imagined this 5 years ago. It was one of the hardest days of our lives. We didn't know if Micah would come out of surgery whole. Surgery took 2 hours longer than was originally thought. His breathing was incredibly rou...

Yep it's March. I have become one of those absent bloggers - Something I have always said that I would never do!! I love blogging so much. It's a great outlet, but I have to settle my longing. It's not part of my season right now. The time will come back some day. Sometimes learning to be content in the season you are in is hard, but important. It's so easy to keep looking forward and forget about today. If you do that, someday you will wish you could have all of those today's back. We got the call a few weeks ago about Micah's first aftercare appointment (April 16). He is going to get his heart thoroughly checked out for any damage. They are going to do an Xray of his chest to check on his lungs. He will see his oncologist and radiologist, meet a new case managerand see a few other new people that I don't know. It's kind of an exciting day. It is also the first time that we are going that Micah is completely and totally aware of what has gone on, what...

All of our kids are so special, each in their own way. There is no doubt. We celebrate each victory and new step with joy. I love celebrating birthdays with the kids. The fun of balloons, a special supper,cake and a present is exciting!!!  Each new year is a beautiful blessing that the Lord has given. Each new age also brings it's own unique fun. Today Micah is 13. I wasn't planning to do a post, but I can't let this day go. So many of you walked these years with us and it just seems fitting to celebrate these milestones with you. I have been sitting here for a while trying to find the words, but they are not coming easily. No words seem to do justice to how our hearts are feeling.   Just this week, after reading a caringbridge entry from a little girl, did I see from the outside where we were 5 years ago at this time. I had my perspective, but it's different reading it aloud objectively (if that makes sense). It made me see anew the beauty of the gift the Lord gave...

5 years old. September 2007. A few months before diagnoses. Ken, Micah and Siah are gone on a camping trip with cadets. It's Josiah's first time going on a fall campout. The dads are always invited, but none usually go. Ken likes camping a lot, but just not so much in the cold. On the bright side, it's a little warmer than last year. (grin) The boys are thrilled he is going.  Ken is a kind dad! (:  So it's pretty quiet here, which is odd for a Friday night at 5:35. Quiet is nice! (: Today is the seven year anniversary of the start of our journey with Micah and cancer. (Micah's story) 12 years old. September 2014 Usually on this day, I have so much to say. This year, I don't have anything to say. I think I have said it all already.  (: I simply wanted to share this milestone and to ask you to praise God with us that we can acknowledge this day as a family of 7.  I wouldn't say it's a day of celebration like March 25 is. It's more of a ...

It's so easy to get caught up in life especially when it's busy. You know that "AHHHH..... I have so much to do and so much on my mind and I don't know where to start." feeling? I have to really work hard at keeping perspective. It does not come easy to me. Learning not to sweat the small stuff, keeping eternal things in the forefront, living a life of thankfulness and resting in the Lord for every detail in our lives is what I strive and long for.     Perspective was given to me this morning. All of those things on my giant list and the pressures that I woke up thinking about disappeared when I read that a little girl we have loved and prayed for for many years just got cancer for the 3rd time.  This is not my first post about Kate and some people may not understand why I feel such love for them when I don't even know them.  Micah and Kate had cancer the first time and relapsed in close proximity. I have only emailed with her maybe two times and s...

Micah's scan came back clear. The gratitude we feel is indescribable. The amazement is just as profound as the first clear results we received years ago. The day we spent at the hospital was a gift to Micah and I. The scan was smooth, we connected with old friends and he spent some beautiful time in Art Therapy. He did two new canvases with paint. We are going to frame them to remember this day by. Not only did we enjoy ourselves, more importantly we got the news that Micah is ready to move into 'aftercare'. Aftercare is a word that I have heard for six and a half years but didn't really understand what it was. Now I do and it has made me cry many happy tears in the last week. It means that Micah just had his last scan.    Micah is 4 years post cancer (relapse). This is the point that we will stop looking for a relapse. He will have an appointment once a year and we will start focusing on how his body is coping with all the chemo and radiation he has had. They w...

We are in Canada for part of Spring Break. We have many appointments booked, including new passports, dentist, MRI, speech therapy and a few more!  It will be great to get them all done. (: This morning we got our passports done. Phew! I was thankful to get that checked off of our list. They should be done Wednesday by 12. That is service! It has been so nice to see family and step out of our regular paces. We always love to come and worship in St Thomas, even though it's not exactly home anymore. In the past year we have become more comfortable in the Grand Rapids church. But connecting in person with the people that we have known for most of our lives feels like a big giant hug. It's a beautiful thing that almost made me cry. We didn't realize how much we needed it!  We love these people and they will always be special. Tomorrow morning at 8:30, Micah has a scan. The past 6 months have gone so quickly. It's hard to believe. We would appreciate prayers for peace ...

Four years ago today was one of the hardest, yet one of the best days of our lives. This day marks the 4 year anniversary of Micah's lung surgery. That day Dr. Merritt removed 2 lobes of his left lung. That day his cancer was taken away. That day started his season of healing. That day our mourning turned into hope. We didn't know it yet on that day, but that day God gave us our miracle. Please thank the Lord with us for His tender mercies and His beautiful gift.

This was written on a Monday a few weeks ago. We were planning to be done school Wednesday at 12 for Christmas holidays. But we woke up in a big-gigantic mess this morning, so we decided to do school on Thursday so I could put the house back together today. Sometimes it's hard to keep things organized on Sundays. It's a luxury for me to have the flexibility this week to take today off of school. (: So we started upstairs in the bedrooms, collecting all the wash, hanging up clean church clothes and cleaning up. We always start there! (: The kids usually do their own rooms, but because things were so upside down, I decided to help them. While cleaning up Micah's room, we started talking about his stuffed animals. I asked him if he was ready to put them away. They kept falling off and were always so messy (not unlike the rest of his shelves! (: ). That is  partly because Grace kept wanting to play with HER doggies. It felt right to ask. I was starting to feel it was time...