In Christ Alone our Hope is Found

 I found this post from last summer in my drafts. I thought I would slip it in here because it still made me smile! (: 1. We went to Michigan Adventures this (last)summer as a family. For my Canada people, it's similar to Canada's Wonderland. We had an amazing time. We left Grace at a friend's house. She had fun playing with her friend Esther!! (:. She was too little to enjoy and having a big kid day was great. Ken told the kids that there was no way he was going on the big coasters and then surprised them by going on all of them. I loved the big rides too, but one thing that the kids and I loved were the bumper cars. I think I liked them so much because that is really how I would love to drive. For real. It's appealing to me. Sometimes the kids and I start laughing as I am driving when we talk about how fun it would be if we could really just slam into every thing! (: 2. Grace is growing and learning.  She can rarely remember the word grandpa. So she calls her gran...

I have thought about heaven a lot since Micah was sick. There were moments my heart physically hurt because the longing was so great to be at the feet of Jesus and to be in a place where there was no sin, suffering or pain. Our Pastor read the first verses of Revelation 21 at the very end of his sermon many years ago, the Sunday after Micah relapsed. I will never forget sitting in my pew so overcome with emotion. I was beside myself with grief  because of our pain, but there was also such hope in the gospel. The beauty of those words finally connected with me that day.  A few weeks ago those verses were quoted off the pulpit again and it still fills my chest with intense longing. I have been thinking about death more than usual since Dr Murray had an introduction to his sermon that asked the question, "Who would you die for?". He listed many people as options. I was shocked to realize that my list is short and almost non-existent. My list would be much longer if Doc would h...

What is that New Years Eve Song? daaaaa, da ,da , da, daaaa-da da, daaaa, daaaaaaaa-daaaa...... That song is playing in my head as I write this. Hehe !(: ANOTHER new year is here. 2015. The number actually makes me laugh. In 1999, we lived in the Niagara area. We bought extra water and canned stuff like every other crazy for Y2K. Remember that? The thought of the calendar turning to the year 2000 kind of blew my mind. When someone would mention 2010 or 2015, I figured we would be flying in cars by that time. It sounded light years away. The fact that I would be turning 39 in the year 2015 probably made me shake my 23 year old head too! At that time 39 might as well have been 70 really. Our lives are more centered on technology, but nothing crazy is happening. At least we aren't in flying cars yet. Although, I would have paid big time for our Honda Pilot to take off on the trip home from Canada last week. The trip felt like it was a pregnancy - the last days of pregnancy. Y...

The past few weeks, we have had some unique experiences. Almost 2 weeks ago, my mom came to visit and we were getting ready to spend the morning downtown at Art Prize. (It's an art competition with all sorts of mediums and about 1500 entries from all over the world. First prize gets $200,000. It's so fun!) My mom and the kids were getting into the van, while I was grabbing the last few things. I asked Natalie to go into the garage and get the stroller. (We have a detached garage.) She came in screaming that we need to call the police because there was someone on the floor. I couldn't quite comprehend what she was saying. Once my mind understood, I called everyone in and locked the door. My mom and I went outside very quietly with a bat and peeked into the garage. We saw a pair of legs. We went back inside and locked the door again and called 911. It was about 15 minutes before someone came.  It ended up being a very drunk lady. The policeman was so tender and kind. In o...

It's so easy to get caught up in life especially when it's busy. You know that "AHHHH..... I have so much to do and so much on my mind and I don't know where to start." feeling? I have to really work hard at keeping perspective. It does not come easy to me. Learning not to sweat the small stuff, keeping eternal things in the forefront, living a life of thankfulness and resting in the Lord for every detail in our lives is what I strive and long for.     Perspective was given to me this morning. All of those things on my giant list and the pressures that I woke up thinking about disappeared when I read that a little girl we have loved and prayed for for many years just got cancer for the 3rd time.  This is not my first post about Kate and some people may not understand why I feel such love for them when I don't even know them.  Micah and Kate had cancer the first time and relapsed in close proximity. I have only emailed with her maybe two times and s...

May 31st was our 17 year anniversary. That means that this August will mark our 21st year together.  Ken and I promised that we would marry each other when I was 16 and he was 20. It was one week before he went away to Redeemer. He was in school the whole time we dated, but came home every weekend. We were so young and thought we were so old and knew pretty much everything. Not so much! (: Ken and I traveled from Grand Rapids to St Thomas and then through to New Jersey in May. We had a lot of quiet hours to chat. It was nice! (: As we drove, we smiled about the places we drove through. We passed through the place that Ken went to University, where we stayed the first night of our honeymoon, were we lived at his first teaching job, then second, then third and fourth! (:  We lived in more than a handful of houses in our first years of marriage. We know every Value Village from Sarnia to Niagara Falls. Just so you know! (: The more I thought about our lives, the more I want...

Some people call it sorrow overload. I am not sure why at times the weight of other's pain and sorrow overwhelms, when other times we can pray on, without crumbling under the weight. ... a year and a half after a car accident a young husband and father is taken to be with the Lord. ... a 15 year old boy dies in a car accident. His mom still in a coma, will wake to her boy with the Lord and already buried. Think of her husband who buried his boy and holds his wife's hand waiting for her to wake, while holding his other children in their grief. ... a man suffers with ALS, as his "tent pegs are being pulled up one by one" ... a family tries to find their feet again after the Lord takes their little boy to Himself, leaving behind his twin, a little sister and another little sister on the way. On this side of heaven they will never be a complete family. ... a wife mourns the loss of another husband I could go on. In all these situations, these people are a testim...

Micah's scan came back clear. The gratitude we feel is indescribable. The amazement is just as profound as the first clear results we received years ago. The day we spent at the hospital was a gift to Micah and I. The scan was smooth, we connected with old friends and he spent some beautiful time in Art Therapy. He did two new canvases with paint. We are going to frame them to remember this day by. Not only did we enjoy ourselves, more importantly we got the news that Micah is ready to move into 'aftercare'. Aftercare is a word that I have heard for six and a half years but didn't really understand what it was. Now I do and it has made me cry many happy tears in the last week. It means that Micah just had his last scan.    Micah is 4 years post cancer (relapse). This is the point that we will stop looking for a relapse. He will have an appointment once a year and we will start focusing on how his body is coping with all the chemo and radiation he has had. They w...

Four years ago today was one of the hardest, yet one of the best days of our lives. This day marks the 4 year anniversary of Micah's lung surgery. That day Dr. Merritt removed 2 lobes of his left lung. That day his cancer was taken away. That day started his season of healing. That day our mourning turned into hope. We didn't know it yet on that day, but that day God gave us our miracle. Please thank the Lord with us for His tender mercies and His beautiful gift.

This was written on a Monday a few weeks ago. We were planning to be done school Wednesday at 12 for Christmas holidays. But we woke up in a big-gigantic mess this morning, so we decided to do school on Thursday so I could put the house back together today. Sometimes it's hard to keep things organized on Sundays. It's a luxury for me to have the flexibility this week to take today off of school. (: So we started upstairs in the bedrooms, collecting all the wash, hanging up clean church clothes and cleaning up. We always start there! (: The kids usually do their own rooms, but because things were so upside down, I decided to help them. While cleaning up Micah's room, we started talking about his stuffed animals. I asked him if he was ready to put them away. They kept falling off and were always so messy (not unlike the rest of his shelves! (: ). That is  partly because Grace kept wanting to play with HER doggies. It felt right to ask. I was starting to feel it was time...

(Written yesterday morning-ish) We are on the road now just coming up to the border as we drive home from a great week in Ontario. Our drives usually go quite well. The kids are getting older and are used to it now. I love that even Grace is starting to know the drive.  Once we get in the Sarnia area, she starts asking if we are going over the big bridge. She loves the bridge. We really enjoy being in St Thomas with all of our family. We always leave with mixed emotions. We are ready for our own house and routine, but we love being with all of our people. Every single time though, I regret not being able to visit everyone I want to visit. We give our family first priority, but once our family is visited, there is not much time left over. We don't even hit all the brothers and sisters. I could fill 3 days of solid visiting with non family people. Maybe when we go back for a week in June, while Ken is in meetings, I think I will try to set 2 days aside and just visit. (: We are ...

I am someone who can watch a movie over and over. I read the same books over and over too.  I don't really do book reviews, but there are 2 books in particular that I love and want to share with you. The first is End of the Spear . I have it on my ipod and I must have listened to it at least 15 times. Crazy. I know! I know it inside and out. I always laugh (really hard) and cry (just as hard) at the same parts. Right now Micah is listening to it for the first time. That tickles me! When he is done, I will have someone to chat with about the book. (: It's the story of Steve Saint (He is the son of Nate Saint, the missionary killed in Ecuador with Jim Elliot.) The book is about how he went back to the jungle as a kid and then again with his family later in life. It's about how he is letting “God write his story". Through this book I also got to know the tribe that killed his father and how Steve and his family have adopted them as their family. The man who...

I have been writing up a storm the last few days. Thoughts of port surgeries and big surgeries have been swirling. Even though this is such a small surgery, we have been struggling a bit, everyone in their way. Normally we don't sit around thinking about the past. God is pushing us forward in a beautiful way. We are so thankful that the memories and pain are fading more with each year that passes, but there are just some times that those cracks in our hearts break open a little bit and sting like crazy. There are so many things that have gone on just in that area of the hospital. The memories that the pre-op, waiting and recovering rooms hold are so painful that words can hardly express them! Walking out of the OR and taking my mask off while leaving him with complete strangers that were going to cut a 8 inch incision in his belly and explore and cut inside his tiny little five year old body for 7 hours, wondering if they would get it all and if he would have excess bleedin...

So much has happened this past week. Most importantly Siah hit 1001 before we left for Canada. He is now at 1,109. I am thinking that he is going to take a break now! He is getting weary. Picture this one: Micah takes Siah to the bathroom in Tim Hortons in Lapeer, MI. He is standing in the main part of the bathroom. He hears Siah singing, "Wipe, wipe, wipe. lalalalalla. Wipe, wipe, wipe." Now picture a tough guy at urinal looking smug and rolling his eyes. Now picture Micah shrinking a long the wall, trying not to laugh his head off, while at the same time trying to look like he is not with Siah. Next.... The whole family takes a trip to a thrift store. Our favourite kind of store! (o; We are all done. Ken had gone to the van with some of the kids, while I paid.  Since I lost my wallet, I didn't have ID,  only my debit card and library card. Well, you need ID to use a debit card here sometimes. I know. Weird! So it took long. Well, we got in the van and someone men...

What I have learned in the last 10 days..... Mapquest is INnnnvaluable. Ken is getting too old to play in baseball tournaments. (Picture a man hobbling with a giant raspberry on his leg.) I-96 and 196 are different highways. There is a 196, I-96 and a 69. To people around here, they are very different, but I still need to think. The people from our Grand Rapids community are very kind. We won`t get shot walking down the main street by our house (Division Ave). It slightly scared me the first few days.  That it`s kind of silly to have a 75 year old man, half asleep in a bank, as their security guard. Really? If he can do that job, so can I. Where do I apply! (o: It`s OK to take Grace places with applesauce in her hair. Nothing bad will happen. That you need a degree in something to figure out the stop lights, especially the left turn one. There is a green, yellow, flashing red and solid red. I am thinking you can go on all of them except the so...

I really like this picture. Am I butterfly-ish? Am I excited? Am I scared? Am I picturing my kids playing in our new house? Do I wonder where God is taking us? Am I sitting in a huge mess? Should I be packing instead of sitting here? Am I listening to a talk by James Mc Donald as I pack? Am I so thankful for each healthy day Micah has? Am I sometimes scared that cancer will come back? Am I bothered by that spot in his abdomen? Am I addicted to looking at audiobooks on itunes?   Do I wish I could buy a new one everyday to listen while I clean and walk? Should I suggest a line in the monthly budget that says audiobooks? (o: Am I weary of sinning? Do I realize my need of Savior everyday? Did Grace just go to grab a brush to brush my hair while I am writing this? Are my cupboards really empty? Have I really packed over 100 boxes? Have I been thinking about cancer kids and families -those who have been lost and those still fighting? Have I enjoyed the quiet ...