Love one another.
This was written in September 2025. But I came across it and decided to publish it even though it's a year late. (:
I went to a one day ladies' retreat this past weekend for our church. There were between 25 and 30 women. My guess is 28. (: I was a bit nervous to go because we are quite new to this church, so it was a lot of new people-ing for me. I am very social, but I am an introvert. I prefer one on one or small group indepth conversations. These kind of events encourage me, but also deplete me even when I am completely comfortable.
It was so good for me to go. I was blessed.
Our speaker spoke to us about loving one another and living in community with our church family. (We are to love beyond our church community, but that wasn't the focus this time.) We are all on a journey as individuals, but also as a community. We are to treat each other as chosen ones by God. These relationships are going to last into eternity. We are the body, the flock, the CHURCH, the bride and a family with a shared identity.
This knowledge should/will change how we deal with people.
At one point, we went around the room and shared what made us feel loved. I came to the thought that my relationships are built on communication and that is how I am filled up. I love it when people share with me and allow me to share with them. I love to know and be known. We all wrote the information down, so we each have a blueprint of how to love each other. What a fantastic idea!
As we went through the day, I was thinking of the present. How can we live in harmony even if/when it's hard? What are ways that we can bless each other? What does it mean to live in community? Going forward, what is my plan to reach out to others? How can I be open to be loved and cared for?
As I was sitting there taking notes, my mind was whirling and my thoughts went backwards. I gasped and tears filled my eyes. It's not that I have never thought of this before. The gratitude just hit hard.
How many times through our lives have we been loved so well? How many times has our community stood behind us?
The answer is: Too many times to count.
I went back to Micah's cancer years. Above all, we were prayed for by thousands of people. There were times that we could feel the prayers, or maybe more accurately, we felt the Lord coming near in a special way as a result of the prayers.
People from far and near were the hands and feet of Christ. Our pastor ministered to us in a beautiful way. This created a bond that will never go away for me. I often think of how hard that must have been for him and how much energy that must have taken. Our family, extended family, church family, and community surrounded us with love, meals, financial assistance, childcare, and much more.
We had a man who would walk and pray with Ken when things were especially dark.
We had a couple who would stop over to bring us supper and they would put their hands on Micah and pray for him. I can still feel how the Spirit was present during those prayers.
Someone taught a whole semester for Ken for free when we were expecting to lose Micah.
People would sometimes stop in and stand at the door and pray with us and then leave. Ken and I often stood in silence at the door after they left. Those moments felt set apart. It was like we were standing on holy, blessed ground.
In Grand Rapids, we were taken in by the congregation and the seminary. We were prayed for and ministered to so well. When we came home from seminary, we were welcomed home with open arms.
In the years that I struggled particularly hard with my nervous system, we were loved with meals and practical help. The Lord has also used our families to answer prayers they didn't know we were praying for.
There is a most unique way that I was loved during a really dark time about 18 months ago. I was just done. I was so tired of hard circumstances. My heart was hurting, and instead of crawling under His wings, I got so angry and hard. I think it might have been the most angry I have ever been and it was directed at God - If You love me so much then why.... A friend knew this and showed up at my house with her piano books. She played and sang songs of worship for me. As I cried and listened, my heart started to thaw and in time I was brought back onto my knees. What a gift that was.
This writing is 1/1000th of the extent and depth of the love and care we have recieved. It can't be captured in these few words. Through these people, we saw the love of our Father, His tenderness and His faithfulness to us.
I have gotten this far, and I'm not really sure where I'm going. I wasn't planning to talk about our family so much. I was planning to write about the bigger picture. But now that I am here, I will choose a few big picture thoughts that are on my mind.
For those of you who are reading this and have loved us, blessed us, and walked beside us - Thank you.
If you feel a prompt to check in with someone or step in to help in someway, do it. So often it's the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Open up to others and let them know that you are struggling. If we all stay at surface level and present as "happy plastic people", there will be so many opportunites that are missed for you to be cared for and for others to care.
Let others step in. Sometimes that can take humility. The acts of caring, whether it's spirtual, emotional or physical are primarily used as a blessing to you. But it also goes the other way. The helper is also filled and blessed.
When relationships are strong and you know that you are loved and cared for by the people in the pew or leadership, it is a foundation for when things get hard. It's so much easier to take a word of criticism from someone who loves you. It's also so much easier to go to someone with a concern when there is love already present. Without relationship, a limitation exsists for the sharpening of each other, the walking beside and the growing together as individuals and as a congregation.
Love your people. The hard people. The old people. The easy people. The young people. The inbetween people. All the people. (: Love like Jesus.
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