My Oma

I have an Oma. She is 93 and I love her. She has always been a bit different and she has always done things her way. She is very independent and will be right to the end. 

Oma lost her husband in her early 50's. I was a month away from 3 when Opa died from lung cancer.  I don't actually remember my Opa in that I remember his face, but I remember his feeling and his feeling was one of warmth, love and security. 

Even though I didn't know Opa, as a child, I longed for him. I didn't really have a real Opa - The one that hugged you and encouraged you. The one who was an example to you of how to live out your love for the Lord.  An Opa to me always smelled good and had candies in his pocket. He was a man that was there for grandparents day and a man who took joy in you however small the accomplishment. I am the kind of girl that would have been an Opa's girl. I love affection, words of affirmation and closeness and in my mind that is what Opa's give. As a little girl, I would dream that God would give me my Opa for one day and I had to fit in all the hugs, show him all my report cards, my room and my friends all in that day. Some days I still long for my Opa. I have always wondered what his family would have looked like if he would have lived longer. He would have loved my kids so much. I just know it. The Lord took him in His timing and it was perfect. But even though I didn't know know him, I grieve for the loss of him sometimes. 

I started working with my Oma very early. She cleaned houses. Some people thought that was weird. I didn't. She worked hard and paid for everything with cash. I hated cleaning houses, but $50 for a Saturday was pretty good money back in the late 80's, early 90's. I was making bank. haha. Once I got there, I didn't mind, but getting out of bed and waiting for her at the window was misery for me.

When I got into the car she would always say, "Belinda! The BOAT?" I would groan, "Yes the boat.", possibly with an eye roll in there. One day she told me a story of how she did work as a young girl and she hated it so much. They lived right on the water in Holland and she had to take a boat across to get where she was working. She hoped every single time as she was waiting for the boat that it would sink so she didn't have to go to work. So she knew that I was hoping that she didn't show up. She got it. 

We cleaned two houses on Saturdays - The Johnsons and the Dennis'. Oma was a very thorough and a somewhat slow cleaner, so we always had lunch at the Johnsons. Every single time we got a ham sandwich with horseradish and a pop. It took me a while to take to the horseradish, but it was white bread, so I thought I had hit the jackpot.  Pop was such a special treat for me and I remember the day that the pop cans went from 255mls to 385-ish. It was a good day. haha.  

The Dennis' lived on the way to Sparta. It was a stinky dairy farm. I remember I cried the first time that I had to clean the bathroom that was by the back door. It was the one that they used coming in from the barn. It was disgusting. My home was very clean and I had never seen anything like it. I couldn't believe that I had to do that. I finally realize that apart from pressure washing the place, the only thing that my 12 year old self could think of was spilling water all over the sink and toilet like Oma did over the floor. I put a ton of Pinesol in my pail of hot water and poured. I still think of that bathroom when I smell Pinesol. If I let it sit long enough, I could close my eyes and pick up a lot of the filth with a paper towel. Then I could clean the bathroom like a regular bathroom. It was always clean, but it took a lot determination for me not to freak out. I also knew that the longer I sat there and looked at it, the longer the job would take. So, I might as well get it done. 

The best thing about the Dennis' besides being done for the day is that I drove part of the way home. Oma had a little Escort and at 13 or 14, I was driving from about 10 minutes past the airport (towards Sparta) all the way to where St Joes is now. In the summer when we were camping at Dalewood seasonally, I was allowed to drive all the way to Ron McNeil Line. It was the highlight of my week. I would be so angry if my dad let my kids do that. But I thought it was pretty awesome and it made Oma the best one ever.  

Over the years, my bond with Oma grew. We would talk about Opa and all of her brothers and sisters. We would talk about Holland and the war. We would talk about how so and so didn't come from the right part of Holland so that's why they are so different or why we shouldn't be friends with them. I don't condone this method, but a simple city could tell her all that she needed to know about someone. lol She told me over and over that she prayed for her grand kids as the bombs were coming down and I always liked that. It made me feel loved. 

One time, Oma was getting gas at Lovedays and it was full serve back then. The man was putting oil in her car and was taking a bit too long for her liking. While the hood was up, she stepped on the gas and moved forward half a foot. It scared the daylights out of the guy under the hood. We laughed all the way home. Sometimes I wish she still remembered those things. Those were great times that we had together. As I got older, we talked about me a bit more. When I was upset with my parents, I told her. She was one of the first ones to know that I really like Ken. A year ago, she still was able to remember a time that she watched in horror from her second bench on the organ side at church when Ken walked in with another girl- When she knew that I clearly knew that he was the only one for me! (: 

She stopped in every week and brought chocolate bars for my kids. She would go for walks with them. When we lived in Grand Rapids, she came for a few days once. That was fantastic. I was so excited to share that with her. In the last year, I have gotten reacquainted with her. I spend a lot of time there during the week giving her meds and I help her with some house work. She loves my kids. Everyone of them. She even thinks that Riley is the best the girlfriend in the world and that they should just get married. I usually go to Oma's five days a week and every single time she says, "Belinda! Aren't kids just the best? Aren't you so happy to have a big family? Everyone should have 8 kids. We only had 5, but that's what the Lord gave us. If you just want one or no kids then there must be something wrong with you. They just don't know. Belin, you need to tell them. Help them see what a blessing kids are." To her having a big family is next to godliness. (: 

Micah is my vacuum day helper. Oma likes things just so. When I vacuum she will stand at my elbow the whole time. Today Micah couldn't come, so I took Siah and Grace. They are not even close to as skilled as Micah is in keeping her occupied and talking. He sits with her in her little sitting room and chats with her. When I am done the living room, dining room and bedroom, they switch places so I can vacuum where they were sitting. Last Friday was a bit crazy though. When I arrived, she had moved her couches and kitchen table. She moved her bed and her stove. Nuts lol. Micah could not get her into the sitting room for the first bit. He sat there and laughed while she took my vacuum out of my hand and showed me that I am vacuuming too quickly and with the wrong strokes. In the moment, I want to roll my eyes, but thinking about it later makes me laugh. I will probably be the same way when I am old.

I take Tessa quite often and that makes Oma so happy. She loves to touch Tessa's hand and hair. She loves to watch how Tessa moves and acts. She sees a bit of herself in Tessa. Every baby I have had she says - Echta Van Dyk or Echta Speelman or don't you think that baby looks just like me? She was wrong the first 5 times, but hit it with number 6. (:  I see some real similarities in Tessa's personality and looks and it makes her so happy. So much so that she gave Tessa a picture of herself. I am so thrilled with it. It will hang on our wall until Tessa is big enough to hang it in her own home. I took a picture of them that day and I am so glad that I did. I just wished I would have fixed Oma's hair a bit. She had just gotten up. I guess that it adds to the sweetness. I have tons of pictures of Oma and my kids and wanted to post them in this post, but I just don't have the brain energy to track them all down tonight. (: I love old pictures and history. Oma has her boat ticket from when they emigrated, with a picture of their little family and a picture of their house in Holland all in one frame and I love it so much. I would love to hang that on my wall some day. It would be so precious to me. 

I love my Oma and don't take her for granted. She has aged considerably since we have moved back to St Thomas. 93 is a beautiful old age and one where a person acknowledges that humanly they are coming to the end of their lives. She is starting to talk like that, but most days she is convinced that she will live to a 100 years old. If I could take a few things from Oma, the first would be to always 'obey yourself''. That sounds like poor theology, but what she means is that we need to use discipline. If you need to read your Bible, do it right now. If your house is dirty and needs to be cleaned and it's time to clean it, do it right now. Don't put things off or be lazy. The second one is that everything that happens is in the Lord's perfect time. She always says to me, "Everything that has happened to me in my life happened at the perfect time and I am just so surprised (her word for amazed) at the Lord.