Jehovah Rohi

I was on facebook the other day and saw something that 10 years out, still struck me deep inside. I follow pages like Sick Kids, Truth 365 and a few other pages that fall into the same category. I saw this video. I watched it and I cried. Ken cried too. It was just so familiar. No matter how much time passes, those kinds of tears are never forgotten. The elevator mom, the hospital hall mom, the mom in the car, the shower mom, the kitchen table mom, the mom in the bed - All me. When the mom got out of the car loaded down with a little suitcase and all of her stuff  - That just felt so familiar. The mom standing in the back of the elevator, wiping her tears and straightening her shoulders as she walked out to go back to her child's room was a very real thing. I don't share this for sympathy. I share because I have written a lot of posts about our cancer years, but I could never successfully convey the depth of these feelings. It's impossible to put them into words. 

The video is titled: Mom Strong. It really should be titled: God Strong. He was the One. Not me. Not Ken. He gave us our next breath and enabled us to take our next step when things were really hard. When my heart hurt so much that it actually hurt physically, He wrapped His arms around me and took that physical and emotional pain. He helped me walk out of the elevator, get out of bed, open that car door and haul all of our stuff up to Micah's room.  He was so gracious. So tender. So wise. So loving. So incredibly faithful. So I mostly share because it reminds me of who God was to us and who God still is to us. 

We had a sermon that was such a beautiful word for me a few weeks ago. It was on Psalm 119:71.

       

 "It was good for that I was afflicted; that I might learn your statutes." 

The context of the sermon was reflecting and encouraging for the time that we are in now.  We have concerns. If Micah would get covid, it potentially could be a really tough time for him, but at this point it's not a major hardship like for others. This sermon took me back in time.

The verb in that verse is past tense. You rarely, if ever can say during a time of trial - Yep this is great. I am learning so much! Most often it's when the darkness passes that you can look back at what the Lord has done. During this sermon, I cried many quiet tears. I have often said that it was good that we were afflicted. To have it put into words was so good for me. I was flooded with thankfulness. It's not because Micah is alive. The Lord is good in life and in death. It's because we experienced first hand God's faithfulness. We could feel Him walking shoulder to shoulder with us. He held us so close that we could feel Him. He provided. He taught us and grew us. He ministered to us in the darkest of times. 

This video and this sermon, both pointed me straight to my heavenly Father. My Redeemer. My Most High God (El Elyon). My Master (Adonai). My Healer (Jehovah Rapha). My God Who Sees (El Roi). My Provider (Jehovah Jireh). My All Sufficient One (El Shaddai). My Peace (Jehovah Shalom). My Sanctifier (Jehovah Mekoddishkem). My Righteousness (Jehovah Tsidkenu). My Everlasting God (El Olan). My Shepherd (Jehovah Rohi).