As teenagers, we spent a lot of time at John E. Pearce. Back then you could stand at the fence and look over the water and even walk down a trail and go down to the beach. Beautiful. Now erosion is happening and the fence is so far back that you can't even see the water. Last Saturday, Ken and I climbed a low part of the fence so we could stand at the water. We are rule breakers! (wink). It's still so beautiful and it brings back so many memories. My favorite memory happened on Saturday, June 1st, 1996. Ken proposed to me on the beach. We got married the next year on that same Saturday.

May 31st was our 21st-anniversary and this summer marks 25 years as a couple. It's hard to believe.



 This picture was taken two weeks after Micah relapsed. I was about 14 weeks pregnant with Grace here. We were doing our 'last' complete family picture session. The sorrow is palpable in this picture.



Here Micah had been healthy for about a year and a half and the Lord had given us this little girly named Grace, whom we adored. Our hearts were still healing from the trauma of almost losing Micah, but we were celebrating God's beautiful gifts. We could taste the blessings in a special way. This is my favorite picture of Ken and me.


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Marriage is something that is so beautiful and those three pictures above say a lot about our journey. We started as kids and grew up together. We have had some tough seasons and have had much sorrow. We struggled some after Micah relapsed. We dealt with mourning in different ways. But the Lord held us close and protected our marriage. We have also experienced joy and thankfulness that can't be described. Often, the deeper the sorrow you experience, the sweeter the joy is.

Apart from the trial of cancer, in the first 19 years, Ken and I experienced the regular ebb and flow of marriage. It was rather smooth and was almost easy. I didn't really understand what it meant to have to work on your marriage or be intentional.  A few years ago, our family was on a rollercoaster and we were thrown off and we landed pretty hard. Ken and I were exhausted and pretty bruised. We are really just starting to dust ourselves off in the last little bit. Often when one person is tired, the other holds them up. This time we were weary together.  In this time of 'tired',  we had to start thinking and planning, instead of our relationship just happening naturally. It's been a good lesson for me. Even though we didn't have 'marriage problems', I began to understand so much more how a marriage could start to fall apart if it's not cared for like a tender plant. Through my learning, I can connect a little bit easier with those who struggle in their marriage.  It's a good thing.

Quite often I think about where we started. I was 16 and so incredibly young. Ken was just 20 and going off to Redeemer. Back then, we lived in a culture that encouraged early dating, marriage, and kids. It was what you did. As a girl, if you were 20 and didn't have a boyfriend at the very least, your time was growing short. I am not a fan of that thinking. My path was one that was set out by the Lord, so I don't regret it. The timing was His and it was for His purpose. But I have been thinking a lot about dating and marriage.

As I have mulled this over, I have asked myself what I would want to tell myself at 16.5 years old. What did I learn in this area? If I could have a 'do-over', what one specific thing would I change? Even though the culture is changing somewhat and the pressure isn't quite as prevalent in our circles, it's still there. I wish I could sit down a whole bunch of young people and say this:

 Know who you are as an individual person before you become part of a couple. 

You don't need to backpack around Europe to 'find yourself'.  Although that sounds so fun!! (:  I am talking about knowing who you are in Christ - I am a daughter of the King before I am a wife, mom or friend.  Once that is established and you live as a princess or prince, other things will fall into place.  It took me many years to see this. At times, I regret the time that I lost. 

Take your time to learn and grow as an individual. Seek the Lord when you are young and live a life of worship on your knees before the Lord seeking His direction is all things. Know what it means to be a daughter or son of the King of Kings and live it out. Then when the Lord sends you your man or woman, you will be ready to be part of a couple. 

Even though I didn't understand who I was in Christ and we were was super immature at the start, I see God's hand in our relationship from the beginning.  I am so thankful that the Lord was so present in our marriage and that His grace and mercy was abundant.  I am thankful that he didn't send sorrow or hardship until our marriage was firmly rooted in Christ and the Word. I am thankful that the Lord sent me Ken. Since I was 14 years old, Ken was the boy that I wanted to walk through life with. He is a gift! 

Here we are now at John E Pearce last Saturday. No hair left for Ken and some wrinkles and flat tired hair for me after a long busy day of work and family. I am thankful! (: