Scan...

Just so you are aware... This is a bullet point-no grammar post! (O:

Scan day is Tuesday, Sept 10 at 8:fifteen.

I am packing up the 4 kids and leaving on Monday morning for Canada. Tuesday is appointment day and then Wednesday morning we will drive home.

I realized as I was thinking about our scan routine, that it is pretty much the same every time. I have always been quite convinced that I will remember everything. But as time passes, I am sad that I didn't write more of our experiences down. I have lost them. So I thought I would write out what  we physically do, without any of the emotions. I will never forget the emotions that come with appointment.

• I will confess that it usually starts with us walking really fast down the halls towards MRI holding hands! We usually seem to be rushing on scan morning, but are rarely late. (:
• We arrive at the MRI/CT suite around 8 am to check in. 
• We give the lady our health card and she gives us the clip board with paperwork to fill out. The questions include whether we think Micah is pregnant or if he drinks or smokes! It always makes me laugh when I read those. There are so many questions about his history, that I actually just tell them to look it up. There is just too much to write! 
• When I am thinking, I will bring a pair of PJ pants with me, but if not, he will change into a huge pair of hospital ones. He is in between the kids and the adults right now. After he is changed we put his stuff and my purse in a locker. There is a key on a stretchy thing, that I put on my wrist.  
• While we sit with the clip board and wait for them to call us back, we are often quiet and watching people. Sometimes I wish Micah would let me hold him on my lap during this time. I just want to feel him close. We watch people coming in and out and waiting just like us. Some are quiet and tired bc their appt was early. Some are anxious. Maybe they are having their first scan and walking into the unknown. Some people are there with their elderly parents. We rarely see kids. 
• We always hope we get 'our guy'. He is about my age or a little older and has kids Micah's age. He by far is the best one. We have had him on and off for years and knowing he is in charge has always been a comfort. He is kind and extremely efficient. Also, it's fun for Micah to have a man. 
• Once back there, we get his IV in and give his CD on book to the lady to put into the player.
• He gets strapped onto the table with foamy things, some monitors of some sort and straps everywhere.
• I tuck him onto the table myself after they are done. I know!!! I am his mom and I know how Micah is comfortable. He gets a little ornery if he is too hot, just like his mama! (: I kiss his cheek and I tell him how much I love him, to just relax and rest, making sure he remembers that he can do it in God's strength. Then I walk around to the end of the machine and squeeze his toes to make sure his toes aren't too hot or too cold and tell him that I love him again and to call me if he needs me.
• I put my ear plugs in and settle onto the most uncomfortable chair ever at his head, with my feet propped up on the bottom of the machine. Then I try to read. My stomach is always full of butterflies here, wondering if it will quick and efficient or if it will be a struggle. I have a hard time reading during the scan. I find myself reading the same pages over and over. I spend most of my time asking the Lord for help for Micah and myself, watching his shoulders too see if they are shaking, wondering if he will cry. 
• When it's time for him to hold is breath for longer periods, I will stand at his head, watch the machine and count down with him and encourage him to keep holding his breath. I often find myself taking a breath in when they tell him to. It's kind of like opening your mouth when you feed your baby! (:
• The scan usually takes an hour if it goes well. 
• Once the scan is done, we untie him and they take his IV out. We grab our CD and on the way out they ask him if he wants a sticker, not knowing that he out grew the sticker pile about 3 years ago! (: 
• Then he gets dressed and we gather our stuff. He is usually wobbly after the scan from laying.
• Micah is getting older and rarely holds hands with me anymore. But scan day is one of those days that he does.  We always hold hands walking down the hall after the scan. If it went well, we are a little bubbly because it's done. If it was rough, we are just thankful it was done, but then are usually exhausted. I thankful the Lord as we walk away, fighting the urge to knock on the door of the scan readers and ask them to take a look, while thinking that this one scan could change our whole lives forever.
• Then, since he wasn't able to have breakfast, he will eat a bagel or a trillion calorie, sugar laden muffin and a drink of juice at the Tim's in the hospital . 
• His appt to see the doctor is at 10:30
• We will go to PMDU (Kids day unit) and hopefully Art Therapy will be open so we can do crafts and catch up with people we miss.  
• Before he sees the Doc, he will get weighed, measured, BP taken, the thing on his finger to measure his oxygen ( I can't even remember what that is called and that was a life line for us for a really long time) and blood drawn. 
• When we get his blood numbers back, I look at the paper and pull a blank. I used to know those numbers inside and out. I knew what was good, bad and ugly. Now I have no idea where the line of good and bad are. Not that we are ever concerned about his numbers. It's a good thing that I don't have to remember anymore. (O:
• Micah's visit with the Doc will be quick. We will do a "Hello, it's nice to see you!", with lots of smiles at how good he looks and how big he has gotten. He is a miracle to us, but he is still a marvel to the Docs. I love that! 
• Doc Z. checks his eyes and ears. She listens to his heart and his lungs. She taps and feels in his belly and checks his lymph nodes. I hold my breath during this part. I worry what she could see in his eyes or hear in his lungs. 
• We will then talk about his next scan. It will most likely be in 6 months. We will probably talk about when we will move it to a year.  Just writing that brings tears to my eyes. That is a big deal in a good way and a not so good way. It will be a whole new lesson in trusting the Lord for me. 
•  I hope we can take off from the hospital by 12:30. Mondays can be quite unpredictable. Sometimes it's insanely busy, other times it's not too bad. We will see! (: 
• Then Micah and I will go on our 'scan lunch date'. Every single scan, we have had as out patients, Micah gets to pick any restaurant he wants to for lunch. Just him and me. It's so fun! It's a tradition that helps him anticipate us going and helps him to look past the scan. 

Could you please pray for us?

• safety on the road for the 4 kids and myself.
• peace for Josh and Ken as we leave them behind.
• calm for Micah as he lays in the MRI machine 
• strength for me to comfort and help Micah if he struggles in the machine. When I start crying things are just harder.  
• a good check up with Doc Z.
• patience as we wait for results.
• that the results show No Evidence of Disease. 

Thank you for continuing to walk this with us.