Looking back...
A few moments ago (Saturday night), I was just sitting in the brown recliner waiting for Grace to quiet down in bed, so Ken and I could slip out together for a little bit.
I was looking at 2 pictures I put up last week. They are in the perfect spot, but I debated whether it was time to put them away or if I could put them up. I decided to put them up. I am not sure if I have shared these before. I am thinking some of these have made it on my blog at some point. But I just need to write this.
They are pictures that remind me of where our family has been and where God has brought us. It brings me back to January 2010. Our lives were upside down. We were just starting to realize that Micah would not live, unless God gave us a miracle. One we were too scared to hope for. We had just come back from Great Wolf Lodge the night before. Our house was a mess. I couldn't find Sunday clothes that morning. I was frustrated and tired. I felt huge pressure to get these pictures done and have them done well. They were our first ever formal family pictures and we were thinking they most likely would be our last.
Matt met us at the Lamplighter Inn. I always wondered if he felt the pressure too. These weren't really ordinary family pictures. These were pictures that were being taken because a boy who was turning 8 within the week was going to die.
We did lots of pictures. I asked if we could get all the kids with Micah separately. I never put those pictures of Micah with each sibling up on the wall. They were the pictures I would give each child if Micah went to be with Jesus. They are pictures that were never really meant to be shared at the time. They also broke my heart when I looked at them. First because of what it represented. Secondly because Micah looked so white and tired. He really was so sick.
When I look at the pictures on the wall, I see a happy family of 5. I was expecting Grace. I was about 15 weeks a long. So she is actually in these pictures. But beneath the smiles, I can see the sorrow in our eyes, especially in these pictures that Matt took of the two of us.
Having these pictures, took a weight off my shoulders, knowing we captured our family together and caught the essence of who we were as a group.
I love these pictures and instead of putting them away, I have to keep them up to remind me of God's mercy, love and faithfulness. He gave us our boy to keep for awhile longer and I am so grateful.
I was looking at 2 pictures I put up last week. They are in the perfect spot, but I debated whether it was time to put them away or if I could put them up. I decided to put them up. I am not sure if I have shared these before. I am thinking some of these have made it on my blog at some point. But I just need to write this.
This one is black and white too, so they match.
They are pictures that remind me of where our family has been and where God has brought us. It brings me back to January 2010. Our lives were upside down. We were just starting to realize that Micah would not live, unless God gave us a miracle. One we were too scared to hope for. We had just come back from Great Wolf Lodge the night before. Our house was a mess. I couldn't find Sunday clothes that morning. I was frustrated and tired. I felt huge pressure to get these pictures done and have them done well. They were our first ever formal family pictures and we were thinking they most likely would be our last.
Matt met us at the Lamplighter Inn. I always wondered if he felt the pressure too. These weren't really ordinary family pictures. These were pictures that were being taken because a boy who was turning 8 within the week was going to die.
We did lots of pictures. I asked if we could get all the kids with Micah separately. I never put those pictures of Micah with each sibling up on the wall. They were the pictures I would give each child if Micah went to be with Jesus. They are pictures that were never really meant to be shared at the time. They also broke my heart when I looked at them. First because of what it represented. Secondly because Micah looked so white and tired. He really was so sick.
When I look at the pictures on the wall, I see a happy family of 5. I was expecting Grace. I was about 15 weeks a long. So she is actually in these pictures. But beneath the smiles, I can see the sorrow in our eyes, especially in these pictures that Matt took of the two of us.
Having these pictures, took a weight off my shoulders, knowing we captured our family together and caught the essence of who we were as a group.
I love these pictures and instead of putting them away, I have to keep them up to remind me of God's mercy, love and faithfulness. He gave us our boy to keep for awhile longer and I am so grateful.
Oh Brenda, thank you for sharing this with us. Love, Helen
ReplyDelete