Please read this and pray for Lucy and her family

Lucy

My heart aches for many families. There are so many people I think about every day and pray that the Lord will hold them close. Today reading about Lucy and her family has just broken my heart in so many pieces.

If you have read the links that I have put up here or on facebook, you will remember that Lucy relapsed and got very sick. They thought they were losing her, but God had different plans. At one point they were not even sure if she did actually have cancer again bc there is so much scar tissue and damage from radiation in her brain. Actually, I am not sure if they know for sure yet if Lucy has cancer.

They moved Lucy to another hospital in another city, last week for various therapies. In the last few days she bottomed out and they though they were losing her again. So she is being transferred back to her home hospital and docs. 

They are in complete limbo. Do they grieve or do they hope? Do they start the process of letting go or do they hold on so tightly and fight? A little bit of everything? I know the answer in my mind. It's trust in the Lord for all things in all things. 

This up and down and sideways is so hard. It is so tiring in every way. At times it can feel like a dream. I can speak from experience, but Micah has never actually "gone down" like Lucy has. He has never laid in a bed near death. God kept our boy up and I praise Him for that.  

But I know those feelings and I do not wish for anyone to experience them even if they do strengthen your reliance on the Lord and put you down on your knees. I know the proper response is to say that what is happening to them is God's will. It is. I should also say that whatever happens is for their good because they love the Lord. It totally is. I  know it's wrong but sometimes I look at things simply humanly without looking at what the Lord may be doing. I shouldn't, but I do. My head knows the answers, but my heart hurts so much, it can't feel what I know in my mind. It's a battle sometimes to have that head-heart connection. I want to rebel and tell God to just fix it. My blind hurt sometimes makes me angry. 

Knowing the Lord is near and knowing that He will give them strength is a beautiful comfort for them and for us walking through this with them.  But their hearts still hurt and it is hard. All of those feelings and pain they are experiencing are things that will never leave them ..... There are not a lot of words to describe it. 

I don't know what else to say, except that reading that last post of Lucy's has touched my heart so deeply. 

Please consider praying for this dear family. Pray that God will equip the doctors, give comfort to the family and that through all of this His will is done and that He will be glorified. That is my mind talking. My heart says that I also want God to help them to know how to feel, help them with perspective and to ease the pain in their hearts.