Today...
At this moment, I am sitting in a monumental mess. I have not been sleeping because of Grace, so my house started out untidy this morning. I starting packing instead of cleaning up first and I am literally stepping over things to walk. There is not a even a clear path. It would be nice if I could snap my fingers and have someone here to clean for me for an hour! (o: I can't see my way through. I should maybe just give up and crawl into bed for an hour. It's not worth trying to push through. I am not getting a thing done.
Today, Ken, Josh, Micah and Nads are in Toronto for their last baseball game, most likely for 4 years. (o: It's kids day at the Rogers Center! They are getting on the go train in Oakville. How fun!
I am home with Siah and Grace. Grace has been quite sick the last few days. She has been up most nights, for most of the night. It is strange. One night her fever was crazy high and then she woke up with blisters on her bum. She has had a low grade fever and hasn't been eating or drinking for the last few days. She has some spots on her arms and legs that look like chicken pox. Last night she cried all night and then would just collapse in exhaustion. It actually kind of scared me.
I am so thankful that as of this morning she is drinking and smiling again. I am not sure what she has. It could be pox, roseola or HMF. At this point it's not doc worthy. We will see what happens with her. I hope she feels better soon.... for her and for me! (o:
It's my Oma's 85th birthday today. Siah is going with my parents to the BBQ. Too bad Grace and I can't be there.
I found this picture as I was packing today. It melts me and brings me back. They are so cute! This pic was taken at the hospital outside the old Art Therapy Room. I imagine this was the summer of 2009; a month or two after Micah was done being totally weaned from sterioids and about 6 months away from relapse. He is still a little chubby. His eyes are tired squinty. His hair is whispy and his eye brows are not quite fully in yet.
This picture makes me cry. (It seems most things do lately. I am so joyful about ministry, so sad about leaving and so stressed about house selling.) When this picture was taken, relapse was so far from our minds. Our boy was healthy. We were excited and were starting to move on with our lives already. He had been done chemo for about 5 months.
Moving on was way easier the first time through. One day, a few months after he was done, I just decided to move on. There was not nearly the same amount of hurt and sadness. I didn't really have a whole lot of processing to do. It was a hard 15 months, with some really tough stretches. But God answered every prayer in a way that we were hoping. Every scan was better than the last. He held us and gave Micah peace. He gave us joy in Him, even when that seemed impossible. Micah did suffer physically and emotionally, but it went as well as it could have gone.
This picture reminds me that his little sister was his constant. Josh played a special role too, but it was a more mature role. He often came to the hospital when Micah was impatient. He spent days and days with Micah. Natalie was his playmate and came when Micah just had to go for the day. She loved Art Therapy. They were so sweet together. I have fun pictures of Micah getting treatment and Natalie laying in the bed beside his. They would watch TV or play XBOX.
I also found Micah's plaster hand as I was packing. Micah had his hand done after relapse. It is something Lisa did with Micah. It was the next thing to do after she asked if we had family pictures done. We were also going to do a big picture with all of our hand prints, but I kept putting it off. I was still pregnant with Grace and it wouldn`t have been complete without her. I had to wait. She needed to be part of it, even if she was only a day old. We never ended up doing our hand prints. Micah had surgery 2 months before Pips was born. By God`s grace we didn`t feel the need to do it! (o:
The plaster hand is something that I didn't let out of my sight when Micah was sick. I was so worried I would lose it or it would get broken. It is a piece of him that I needed to keep. I finally tucked it away in the bottom of my night table. I would really like to frame it in one of those frames that are deep and hang it on his wall. But I am not crafty like that. Those things are ridiculously daunting to me. Ken took the camera today, so I will post a picture of it next time. It is perfectly done. His hand was so little.
I am privileged to still be able to hold his hand.
OK! It`s nap time. I better go before I think anymore. Little sleep over 4 days changes my perspective. It makes me thoughtful and sad. A good nap may just pull me together.
Have a beautiful windy day!
Oh yes, I need to include that it was our 15th anniversary on Thursday. I intended to do a special post, but its been a rough few days. Also we are not celebrating until next week. So, this is as documented as it is going to be this year. All you need to know is that I love him more than ever! (o:
Today, Ken, Josh, Micah and Nads are in Toronto for their last baseball game, most likely for 4 years. (o: It's kids day at the Rogers Center! They are getting on the go train in Oakville. How fun!
I am home with Siah and Grace. Grace has been quite sick the last few days. She has been up most nights, for most of the night. It is strange. One night her fever was crazy high and then she woke up with blisters on her bum. She has had a low grade fever and hasn't been eating or drinking for the last few days. She has some spots on her arms and legs that look like chicken pox. Last night she cried all night and then would just collapse in exhaustion. It actually kind of scared me.
I am so thankful that as of this morning she is drinking and smiling again. I am not sure what she has. It could be pox, roseola or HMF. At this point it's not doc worthy. We will see what happens with her. I hope she feels better soon.... for her and for me! (o:
It's my Oma's 85th birthday today. Siah is going with my parents to the BBQ. Too bad Grace and I can't be there.
I found this picture as I was packing today. It melts me and brings me back. They are so cute! This pic was taken at the hospital outside the old Art Therapy Room. I imagine this was the summer of 2009; a month or two after Micah was done being totally weaned from sterioids and about 6 months away from relapse. He is still a little chubby. His eyes are tired squinty. His hair is whispy and his eye brows are not quite fully in yet.
This picture makes me cry. (It seems most things do lately. I am so joyful about ministry, so sad about leaving and so stressed about house selling.) When this picture was taken, relapse was so far from our minds. Our boy was healthy. We were excited and were starting to move on with our lives already. He had been done chemo for about 5 months.
Moving on was way easier the first time through. One day, a few months after he was done, I just decided to move on. There was not nearly the same amount of hurt and sadness. I didn't really have a whole lot of processing to do. It was a hard 15 months, with some really tough stretches. But God answered every prayer in a way that we were hoping. Every scan was better than the last. He held us and gave Micah peace. He gave us joy in Him, even when that seemed impossible. Micah did suffer physically and emotionally, but it went as well as it could have gone.
This picture reminds me that his little sister was his constant. Josh played a special role too, but it was a more mature role. He often came to the hospital when Micah was impatient. He spent days and days with Micah. Natalie was his playmate and came when Micah just had to go for the day. She loved Art Therapy. They were so sweet together. I have fun pictures of Micah getting treatment and Natalie laying in the bed beside his. They would watch TV or play XBOX.
I also found Micah's plaster hand as I was packing. Micah had his hand done after relapse. It is something Lisa did with Micah. It was the next thing to do after she asked if we had family pictures done. We were also going to do a big picture with all of our hand prints, but I kept putting it off. I was still pregnant with Grace and it wouldn`t have been complete without her. I had to wait. She needed to be part of it, even if she was only a day old. We never ended up doing our hand prints. Micah had surgery 2 months before Pips was born. By God`s grace we didn`t feel the need to do it! (o:
The plaster hand is something that I didn't let out of my sight when Micah was sick. I was so worried I would lose it or it would get broken. It is a piece of him that I needed to keep. I finally tucked it away in the bottom of my night table. I would really like to frame it in one of those frames that are deep and hang it on his wall. But I am not crafty like that. Those things are ridiculously daunting to me. Ken took the camera today, so I will post a picture of it next time. It is perfectly done. His hand was so little.
I am privileged to still be able to hold his hand.
OK! It`s nap time. I better go before I think anymore. Little sleep over 4 days changes my perspective. It makes me thoughtful and sad. A good nap may just pull me together.
Have a beautiful windy day!
Oh yes, I need to include that it was our 15th anniversary on Thursday. I intended to do a special post, but its been a rough few days. Also we are not celebrating until next week. So, this is as documented as it is going to be this year. All you need to know is that I love him more than ever! (o:
Have a good nap Belinda! Hope you wake up refreshed!
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