Another Nodule...

(For some reason I wasn't able to separate my paragraphs?) Micah and I went to the hospital this morning to go to see the surgeon. He was the same one who did Micah's lung surgery. He is just as I remember him. He is loud and big. He is a take charge kind of guy. He loves my Micah. He is amazed that he looks so good. He does look like a chess or debate team president. All he needs is to put tape on his glasses! haha. The guy is brilliant. But I am wondering if he is so brilliant that he is impractical. You know those guys? Anyways, he didn't realized what we were there for (port appointment). There was some confusion. He thought we were there for him to tell us that the nodule in Micah's abdomen was fine. WHAT? I didn't know there was a nodule in his abdomen. I have tried to be patient and gracious and I still am trying hard. But sometimes the lack of communication drives me a little crazy. Our Doc is brilliant. She really does know what she is doing. She is compassionate and motherly. She shows empathy. But communication isn't always her strong point. Sometimes I would rather have someone who is cut and dry and crazy blunt. Just give me the details, spare the emotion. Sometimes it gets in the way. When he told me this, right away my adrenaline kicked in and I felt kind of nauseous. You know when your ears start buzzing a little from overwhelming stress. That was it. But he went on to tell me that like the one in his lung it hasn't changed in a year. Does that mean it was changing the year before? He is the smart guy and says it's fine. It could be scar tissue or a funny lymph node. So we are going to go ahead with taking out his port. It is scheduled to be taken out July 18. But we are hoping there is an opening earlier. Although I am glad we will have time to get Micah's scan results from July 3 before he has it out. It only makes sense. All these little things throw me for a loop. It is hard on my heart and mind. It makes me question our move and makes me start looking at things humanly. If I didn't know God was leading and opening all of these doors there is NO way I would be leaving my home or hospital. On paper it just doesn't make sense. So those are my thoughts for today.