Scan Day
Well, tomorrow is scan day. It has come up kind of fast. Strangely I am looking forward to it. I have been trying to figure out why. Maybe it's because it will be done and we can get results. Maybe it's because I feel better doing something instead of waiting for the day to come. Maybe it's because I am going to try to make it a day out for Micah. After the scan, I am hoping he can spend a little time in Art therapy. Then we decided to let him pick any place he wants to go to have lunch, so he has something to look forward to. He picked the Mandarin! He will be soo hungry! (O: Maybe it is just a special gift from the Lord to be so relaxed.
Saying that I feel better doing something instead of just waiting, really made me think of the days of relapse. I really didn't like being at home. It was too hard. Some days being at home seemed like a waste of time. I felt I was doing something tangible when we went to the hospital. I remember my shoulders dropping with relief when we walked into PMDU. Strangely there was less pain there. There it also seemed more normal to have a son who may die. There were people there who completely understood and didn't ask questions. I didn't have to explain medical things to anyone. Micah was cared for and was able to go to Art Therapy to craft, which was a comfort to him.. Also, home reminded me of what we were possibly going to lose. There were times I couldn't sit with Micah cuddled up to me (But other times I would sit for hours with him, just needing to feel him close.) I would make an excuse and get up because the way Micah fit perfectly into my side and the feel of his little body hurt too much. I wondered when the last time would be. Seeing him playing with kids always brought tears. Seeing all the kids around the table and imaging an empty chair within 3 months was hard to comprehend. Home was hard and I don't think I have ever been able to articulate that. I don't think I even realized it myself until I wrote this paragraph just now.
Anyways..... We are leaving at 7:45 on Tuesday morning for the hospital. The scan is at 8:30am and should last till at least 10am. Could you please pray for my Micah? It is hard for him in so many ways. Please pray that he will have peace and feel the Lord near. If it doesn't go well, he will need me. Please pray that I will be given strength to hold his hand and be an encouragement to him. Please pray that I will not feel anxious leaving the hospital knowing there are pictures of his little body on a computer waiting to be read. I often feel that way. Knowing there is an answer there, but having no access to it makes me tense.
God is so good whether Micah is cancer free or not. Nothing surprises Him. He knows and loves Micah and has a special plan for his life, whether He chooses 80 years or 10 years for it to be complete. We trust Him in every way and ask for His will to be done. But we pray God's will is a long life for our boy.
Thank you for praying. I will let you all know how the scan went. We appreciate you all so much!
Saying that I feel better doing something instead of just waiting, really made me think of the days of relapse. I really didn't like being at home. It was too hard. Some days being at home seemed like a waste of time. I felt I was doing something tangible when we went to the hospital. I remember my shoulders dropping with relief when we walked into PMDU. Strangely there was less pain there. There it also seemed more normal to have a son who may die. There were people there who completely understood and didn't ask questions. I didn't have to explain medical things to anyone. Micah was cared for and was able to go to Art Therapy to craft, which was a comfort to him.. Also, home reminded me of what we were possibly going to lose. There were times I couldn't sit with Micah cuddled up to me (But other times I would sit for hours with him, just needing to feel him close.) I would make an excuse and get up because the way Micah fit perfectly into my side and the feel of his little body hurt too much. I wondered when the last time would be. Seeing him playing with kids always brought tears. Seeing all the kids around the table and imaging an empty chair within 3 months was hard to comprehend. Home was hard and I don't think I have ever been able to articulate that. I don't think I even realized it myself until I wrote this paragraph just now.
Anyways..... We are leaving at 7:45 on Tuesday morning for the hospital. The scan is at 8:30am and should last till at least 10am. Could you please pray for my Micah? It is hard for him in so many ways. Please pray that he will have peace and feel the Lord near. If it doesn't go well, he will need me. Please pray that I will be given strength to hold his hand and be an encouragement to him. Please pray that I will not feel anxious leaving the hospital knowing there are pictures of his little body on a computer waiting to be read. I often feel that way. Knowing there is an answer there, but having no access to it makes me tense.
God is so good whether Micah is cancer free or not. Nothing surprises Him. He knows and loves Micah and has a special plan for his life, whether He chooses 80 years or 10 years for it to be complete. We trust Him in every way and ask for His will to be done. But we pray God's will is a long life for our boy.
Thank you for praying. I will let you all know how the scan went. We appreciate you all so much!
Praying for you and ken and micah :)
ReplyDeletePraying for you all! I hope this scan goes better and God gives him peace during the scan. Much love!
ReplyDeleteOh I can't imagine the emotions that go along with each scan day and the days surrounding it. We will remember Micah and you all in prayer. Strength for tomorrow Belin.
ReplyDeleteKen and Belinda, may God make His presence known to you through His Word and the prayers of His people. We will be in prayer at PRTS at 9:45 as staff and faculty. We hope for good news. God give you strength. hk
ReplyDeletedear Micah and Belinda and family
ReplyDeletewe will remember you all in our prayer,
Feeling that HE is holding you in HIS hands.
And giving you strength ..
take care
ruth