A Different Perspective
Yesterday was a hard day. I am not saying that it didn't hurt and that we aren't wondering about results, but I have a better perspective now.
As time goes by, I am getting soft. Yesterday was so tough for Micah and I. But I almost feel bad taking it so hard. In the years we were in the middle of the battle, a scan like that or a treatment day like that was hard. But those kinds of tears were part of our daily life. That sadness was so small compared to the big decisions and concerns we had for Micah then. I remember those days, but I can hardly fathom that hurt day after day. It is amazing what you get used to and the strength and grace the Lord gives for that kind of journey. It has been a reminder to me to keep praying for all those who are in treatment, have stopped treatment and for those families who have lost or are losing their children.
Micah and I had a chat last night before bed. I was thankful for that. It has really hit me that he is getting older. With age and experience, he is going to start being more aware and is starting to think more. Honestly, I don't like that. It will be much harder for him.We did smile together at how the tech tried so hard to cheer him. He told Micah that he had so much to carry and that he wanted to carry it for him for the next hour. It was sweet and Micah didn't laugh about it then, but thought is was so funny later. If I wasn't so upset and was thinking a little clearer, I would have told the tech that, that is exactly what the Lord does for us. But He does it longer than just an hour. Our God is so good.
During the scan I was praying and praying for God to give Micah peace. I also started to ask why He wasn't giving him the peace I was begging for. Thinking back, He did answer. God did allow us to get the scan done and He helped me comfort Micah. That is an answer. It just wasn't the easy answer I was hoping for. (O:
God is faithful and His grace is plenty. I am thankful that we have the privilege of having our 5 children at home and healthy and that we only go to the hospital twice a month at the most. Yesterday's experience has brought me to a whole new level of thankful.
As time goes by, I am getting soft. Yesterday was so tough for Micah and I. But I almost feel bad taking it so hard. In the years we were in the middle of the battle, a scan like that or a treatment day like that was hard. But those kinds of tears were part of our daily life. That sadness was so small compared to the big decisions and concerns we had for Micah then. I remember those days, but I can hardly fathom that hurt day after day. It is amazing what you get used to and the strength and grace the Lord gives for that kind of journey. It has been a reminder to me to keep praying for all those who are in treatment, have stopped treatment and for those families who have lost or are losing their children.
Micah and I had a chat last night before bed. I was thankful for that. It has really hit me that he is getting older. With age and experience, he is going to start being more aware and is starting to think more. Honestly, I don't like that. It will be much harder for him.We did smile together at how the tech tried so hard to cheer him. He told Micah that he had so much to carry and that he wanted to carry it for him for the next hour. It was sweet and Micah didn't laugh about it then, but thought is was so funny later. If I wasn't so upset and was thinking a little clearer, I would have told the tech that, that is exactly what the Lord does for us. But He does it longer than just an hour. Our God is so good.
During the scan I was praying and praying for God to give Micah peace. I also started to ask why He wasn't giving him the peace I was begging for. Thinking back, He did answer. God did allow us to get the scan done and He helped me comfort Micah. That is an answer. It just wasn't the easy answer I was hoping for. (O:
God is faithful and His grace is plenty. I am thankful that we have the privilege of having our 5 children at home and healthy and that we only go to the hospital twice a month at the most. Yesterday's experience has brought me to a whole new level of thankful.
thanks for sharring this! You are letting HIM shine through and it/He is beautiful.
ReplyDelete-Mel