I am thinking about scan day.....

I have wanted to write all week, but this week has just slipped by. We are all back into routine. It was hard to let my Ken go on Monday morning. He is my most favorite person ever and I just want him to be home with me. We will be great retired people! (O: We had a great week of school. It has been a while since I can say that. We were struggling before Christmas. I am thankful we had a break and that I could look at school with new and refreshed eyes. It is truly a blessing.

Micah's scan day is coming quickly. His scan is Wednesday morning at 9:30. Wednesday is gym day and piano day. So the other kids will be home with my sister , Tori and will go to piano and then my mom will take them to gymnastics. Micah and I will meet them there in London. It is a bit of a morning out for Micah and I. I am trying to look at it that way anyways.

I am so thankful for scans, machines, doctors, nurses, techs, The Cancer Society and Childcan ....ect. They have all played such an important part in our last 4 years. But I go through times that I would prefer to ignore the fact that they are there and needed.  This week Micah had to have a port flush and I really didn't want to go at all. I actually cried before I left.  Some days I would like to just roll back into my comfy little hole of ignorance. Many days I thank the Lord for what I have learned and pray that He will help me use it for His glory. But lately, I would prefer not to. I just want to pretend it didn't happen. Bad, I know.

I was wondering if you could pray for us in the next days.

• The days before, we wonder if our lives will change forever within the next week. 
• On the day of , it is so hard for me to walk away, knowing there are answers on a computer. 
• The days after become a waiting game and if I (we) am not careful I can fall into a dark place.  

In the days prior to scan time and the days after we have to make sure that we are in the Word and are praying all the time. The times that I haven't, everything just falls apart. I am short with the kids and Ken. School goes badly. Eggs and macaroni seem to be the menu for supper. My house doesn't get run efficiently. It is so easy to fall into a sad place, waiting for the call and thinking that this must be time. But when I choose to focus on the Lord, I am able to look at his faithfulness and care for me and my family. There is such a comfort in trusting in the Lord.

Could you please pray that we will have peace and be filled with the Lord's presence?

Please, please pray for a clear scan. If this scan is clear, Micah will be cancer free for 22 months (on Jan 25). That seems just beautifully crazy. I can hardly imagine! Could you also please pray that if the scan is not clear, that we will look to our Heavenly Father and that we would submit and not fight Him so He can hold us close?

Thank you for walking with us and praying for us. Really.