Remembering Thankfulness and Praying for a Precious Family.
As the Christmas lights shine on the streets, the leaves fall from the trees, as we plan family dinners, as the days get shorter and the nights get longer and as the stores fill with Christmas crazy it reminds us of years past. This time of year is hard for us. I can say though that this year, is the best "this time of year" we have had in quite a few years.
Nov 2007 - The initial diagnoses.
Fall/ Winter2008 - Still in heavy treatment with breathing issues.
Dec 2009 - Relapse
Fall/Winter 2010 - Still broken and not really sure how to live, how to think or what to do.
2011- Here and living thankfully
I am not writing this to complain. We are thankful beyond words. The Lord heard the prayers of His people and miraculously healed Micah. He is here and quite healthy. Praise God!
But, I write this because we remember. The memories are not so sharp and cutting, but they are still there. At times we still have an aching heart. There are some memories that just don't leave us. Getting an invitation the other day to my Aunt Jane`s house for a Van Dyk party puts dread in my stomach. It is always such a fun time, but when I think of that gathering, every time I remember Jan of 2010. Micah had just started a new chemo and he didn't have his port back in yet. They gave it to him through an IV and it burnt the veins in his arm. He cried a lot of the way to Toronto and I was hoping the whole time that the morphine would kick in. He did not cry the whole day/night, but we just couldn't get on top of the pain. I regret to this day not turning around. I also wonder why I waited to call our oncologist to ask if we could increase the dose. That it just one of the memories that hurts me a lot.
I think we are also remembering because we are praying for this FAMILY who is just a few days into the cancer world. Although everyone's experience is a little different, as we pray we are picturing in our mind what we went through, thinking that they must be feeling somewhat the same. What a difficult road to walk. I am so sad that this Pennings family has to go through such sadness. But I praise the Lord that they have a saving relationship with the Lord and they are leaning on Him for their strength. He is a comfort in trouble and He promises to supply everything they need. What a comfort it is to know that no matter what hurt they will experience, He will hold them. Our God is a good and mighty God whether you are on the mountain or in the valley.
I know the solution when Ken and I feel burdened with remembering is that we have to choose to be thankful and not fall into the pit of our past pain. We need to remember God's faithfulness through the happy and sad and hold onto the fact that He is the same and will continue to be faithful regardless of the path He puts us on.
It is amazing to me that as I write through my feelings, that God always bring me back to Him. Thank you Lord.
Nov 2007 - The initial diagnoses.
Fall/ Winter2008 - Still in heavy treatment with breathing issues.
Dec 2009 - Relapse
Fall/Winter 2010 - Still broken and not really sure how to live, how to think or what to do.
2011- Here and living thankfully
I am not writing this to complain. We are thankful beyond words. The Lord heard the prayers of His people and miraculously healed Micah. He is here and quite healthy. Praise God!
But, I write this because we remember. The memories are not so sharp and cutting, but they are still there. At times we still have an aching heart. There are some memories that just don't leave us. Getting an invitation the other day to my Aunt Jane`s house for a Van Dyk party puts dread in my stomach. It is always such a fun time, but when I think of that gathering, every time I remember Jan of 2010. Micah had just started a new chemo and he didn't have his port back in yet. They gave it to him through an IV and it burnt the veins in his arm. He cried a lot of the way to Toronto and I was hoping the whole time that the morphine would kick in. He did not cry the whole day/night, but we just couldn't get on top of the pain. I regret to this day not turning around. I also wonder why I waited to call our oncologist to ask if we could increase the dose. That it just one of the memories that hurts me a lot.
I think we are also remembering because we are praying for this FAMILY who is just a few days into the cancer world. Although everyone's experience is a little different, as we pray we are picturing in our mind what we went through, thinking that they must be feeling somewhat the same. What a difficult road to walk. I am so sad that this Pennings family has to go through such sadness. But I praise the Lord that they have a saving relationship with the Lord and they are leaning on Him for their strength. He is a comfort in trouble and He promises to supply everything they need. What a comfort it is to know that no matter what hurt they will experience, He will hold them. Our God is a good and mighty God whether you are on the mountain or in the valley.
I know the solution when Ken and I feel burdened with remembering is that we have to choose to be thankful and not fall into the pit of our past pain. We need to remember God's faithfulness through the happy and sad and hold onto the fact that He is the same and will continue to be faithful regardless of the path He puts us on.
It is amazing to me that as I write through my feelings, that God always bring me back to Him. Thank you Lord.
A fantasic book that I am reading now is "My God is True - Lessons Learned along Cancer's Dark Road" It is a must read!! I'll be bringing one to my mom next week when I visit and I'm sure she can pass it along.(if you are interested)
ReplyDeleteBelinda,
ReplyDeleteWe have prayed for Micah and your family for these past years, and as we add Charlie (our nephew), to our cancer prayer list, we are encouraged when we see how God has worked in your situation.
Blessings and continued prayer.
Bethany Pennings