Thoughts
So here I am on the evening of a clear scan report. We have had our hugs, tears, and smiles and thanked the Lord. Pizza has been eaten and surgary pop has been drunk. We just read our book about the Underground Railroad and the kids are tucked in. Natalie is sleeping on a mattress on Siah's floor, just for fun, because it's Friday night. Micah is tucked into our bed with my ipod, listening to an Odyssey. (He doesn't sleep there, he just likes falling asleep in there sometimes. It's warm and soft and he likes the comfort it brings him.) Ken has gone to the grocery store to grab a few things. He just needed to get out for a little quiet. Josh is away at a Junior Young People's party and here I sit in the beautiful peace and quiet.
I feel the need to write, but don't know what to say. I am truly overwhelmed that God has blessed us in this way again. It feels like a whole new life has been given to us. The further we get away from cancer, the more precious each clear scans seems. You would think we would start to take it for granted (like we did the first time), but that is not the case. I find myself appreciating the moments that I often let pass unnoticed. I took time with kids tonight to play a game and read a book. I let them stay up a little later and play around. I wish I would do that more often. It is for sure my weakness. It may sound silly, but for me those things are hard to do in the evening. After spending all day with them, by 6 pm, I am done. Most times, that is the time Ken plays with them. After dishes, (around 5:30) he takes them outside and they play baseball or hide and go seek in the dark until bed time or close to it. I always feel like I am shoving them off to bed. I need to work on that! Often at 8 when the youngest 3 are in bed, Ken and I will go for a walk. It is the highlight of my day. Last night we walked for 1 hour 20 min and half way it started raining. It was fantastic fun! (o: I felt like we were teenagers again! I love spending time and just chatting with that man. It is pretty special.
I want to thank you all for being with us all these years. We are coming up to 4 years since I sent that first email. That is incredible! After I called Ken at school to tell him the news, and texted my close family and friends, I ran to the computer to tell you all. You all are more a part of this than you realize. It is a beautiful blessing that has come from Micah's cancer. I thank the Lord for you all.
**Just to keep it real. As I wrote this, Josiah came out of bed for a drink. Micah has been up and down. I have groceries on my counter to put away. Grace has been whining in bed and Josh came stomping in! I re-read my first paragraph and it sounded very perfectly perfect. Hehe! **
I feel the need to write, but don't know what to say. I am truly overwhelmed that God has blessed us in this way again. It feels like a whole new life has been given to us. The further we get away from cancer, the more precious each clear scans seems. You would think we would start to take it for granted (like we did the first time), but that is not the case. I find myself appreciating the moments that I often let pass unnoticed. I took time with kids tonight to play a game and read a book. I let them stay up a little later and play around. I wish I would do that more often. It is for sure my weakness. It may sound silly, but for me those things are hard to do in the evening. After spending all day with them, by 6 pm, I am done. Most times, that is the time Ken plays with them. After dishes, (around 5:30) he takes them outside and they play baseball or hide and go seek in the dark until bed time or close to it. I always feel like I am shoving them off to bed. I need to work on that! Often at 8 when the youngest 3 are in bed, Ken and I will go for a walk. It is the highlight of my day. Last night we walked for 1 hour 20 min and half way it started raining. It was fantastic fun! (o: I felt like we were teenagers again! I love spending time and just chatting with that man. It is pretty special.
I want to thank you all for being with us all these years. We are coming up to 4 years since I sent that first email. That is incredible! After I called Ken at school to tell him the news, and texted my close family and friends, I ran to the computer to tell you all. You all are more a part of this than you realize. It is a beautiful blessing that has come from Micah's cancer. I thank the Lord for you all.
**Just to keep it real. As I wrote this, Josiah came out of bed for a drink. Micah has been up and down. I have groceries on my counter to put away. Grace has been whining in bed and Josh came stomping in! I re-read my first paragraph and it sounded very perfectly perfect. Hehe! **
Don't feel too bad, you give your whole life to your kids...a few hours to think and recharge at night is great! So so happy for Micah and your family. Thankful that the Lord has given you a season of rest and joy.
ReplyDeleteQuiet evenings are treasured here, too, but they get pretty rare as the kids get older. But you adjust. I guess that's why we like our after supper walks so much (although they are pretty rare these days, too.) Our littles like to camp out in each other's rooms on Friday nights too. I love that they can be content with simple things. :) Praising God with you for the clear scan results!
ReplyDeleteCarmen