Hide it in your heart. Week 6/ Micah's 3 month check up....
Business first:
So, this is week 6 of memorizing. How's it going ladies? I am struggling a little. I will persevere!
Philipians 2:10,11
So that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth. and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
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Pretty rambly.... Just working it out in my mind....
Today, I took Micah in for his 3 month check up. His Doctor is a love and I was so thankful to see her. She has a little girl, who is about a week younger than Grace. She went on mat leave and then I have just missed her the last few times. She has been on holidays or away. So we haven't had an appointment with her for about 1 and half years. It's strange how fast time has gone.
Micah is in great health as far as we can tell. He is dependent on a puffer, but that is it. That is pretty good considering! She was very pleased and was actually beaming.
I went into this appt thinking that is was probably time to get Micah's port out. He has been clean for 1 year and 7 months. When I asked her, she hesitated, because all the kids were sitting there and just said that we should have this conversation in a year. I really shouldn't have asked in front of Micah. I wasn't thinking and I am kicking myself! He is hard to read. I am trying to figure out if it bothered him at all.
I have been tossed about whether we want it in or out. Last time we got it out, it went back in 3 months later. That was really hard and was an extra trauma to Micah, physically and emotionally to go through a surgery that really made relapse real. But I guess I was hoping she would say that it was a great idea. But seeing how she chose her words so carefully and the fact that she said another year, really has shaken me up. It means that she is not confident in the future for Micah.
I get it. We know there is a good chance that someday he will have to deal with cancer again. But I think that we are in such a good spot, that it seems so unlikely in my mind. We are ready to move on. Cancer still hurts and the memories cut, but we are healing.
I am trying to tell myself, that it doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. My doc is very smart and I trusted her experience. I am not questioning her call at all. But what she thinks, isn't going to change Micah's future. We are secure in Christ. He has Micah's life in his hands. I need to take comfort in that. Technically, we are in the same good spot as yesterday.
So I am praying that we will trust, that Micah was not hurt by my thoughtlessness, that Micah will stay healthy and that as Ken and I process this, we will keep our eyes on Him.
So, this is week 6 of memorizing. How's it going ladies? I am struggling a little. I will persevere!
Philipians 2:10,11
So that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth. and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Pretty rambly.... Just working it out in my mind....
Today, I took Micah in for his 3 month check up. His Doctor is a love and I was so thankful to see her. She has a little girl, who is about a week younger than Grace. She went on mat leave and then I have just missed her the last few times. She has been on holidays or away. So we haven't had an appointment with her for about 1 and half years. It's strange how fast time has gone.
Micah is in great health as far as we can tell. He is dependent on a puffer, but that is it. That is pretty good considering! She was very pleased and was actually beaming.
I went into this appt thinking that is was probably time to get Micah's port out. He has been clean for 1 year and 7 months. When I asked her, she hesitated, because all the kids were sitting there and just said that we should have this conversation in a year. I really shouldn't have asked in front of Micah. I wasn't thinking and I am kicking myself! He is hard to read. I am trying to figure out if it bothered him at all.
I have been tossed about whether we want it in or out. Last time we got it out, it went back in 3 months later. That was really hard and was an extra trauma to Micah, physically and emotionally to go through a surgery that really made relapse real. But I guess I was hoping she would say that it was a great idea. But seeing how she chose her words so carefully and the fact that she said another year, really has shaken me up. It means that she is not confident in the future for Micah.
I get it. We know there is a good chance that someday he will have to deal with cancer again. But I think that we are in such a good spot, that it seems so unlikely in my mind. We are ready to move on. Cancer still hurts and the memories cut, but we are healing.
I am trying to tell myself, that it doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. My doc is very smart and I trusted her experience. I am not questioning her call at all. But what she thinks, isn't going to change Micah's future. We are secure in Christ. He has Micah's life in his hands. I need to take comfort in that. Technically, we are in the same good spot as yesterday.
So I am praying that we will trust, that Micah was not hurt by my thoughtlessness, that Micah will stay healthy and that as Ken and I process this, we will keep our eyes on Him.
Dear Belinda,
ReplyDeleteI'm working at the memory work, but you are right, it is hard!! I really need to go back and write out each verse on a card and keep them all together for more effecient review times! I'm sorry to hear the disappointment about the port. :-(. But I love these lines, because it they are very, very true "But what she thinks, isn't going to change Micah's future. We are secure in Christ. He has Micah's life in his hands. I need to take comfort in that. Technically, we are in the same good spot as yesterday." It is so easy to slip into counting on man's word and man's diagnosis (I think of this a lot having been a foster mom/ seeing other foster mom's and the urge to "weigh" every word and every prediction for the future), but you are right, being secure in Christ, and knowing His plan is perfect is the best place to be.