The blessings, through the pain...

We had a sermon on Sunday about the healing of a  lame man. It clicked as I was listening that our miracle isn't so different. It clicked for my good friend too. That is neat! (o:

Micah's life truly is a miracle. Sure, the circumstances are different. God healed a lame man and Micah had cancer. The lame man was healed by words and Micah was healed by surgery. The lame man probably wouldn't have died from being lame and Micah would have died from cancer. I guess the man could have died if he couldn't have earned money to eat. But really none of those things are the point. The point is God has shown us His power and we can't forget that. We continually marvel at the miracle God has performed in Micah's body.

I want to shout from the mountain tops what God has done for our family. But I think I have told everyone I know already and the people they know too. I have run out of people to tell! haha. (o:  This year and 4 months has been a gift and an amazing  miracle. He has given us more time than we could have ever imagined.

As God continues to work in me and I am learning more and more of what he asks of us and how good He is, I am learning to be thankful for the things He has given instead of dreading the things He may take away. It doesn't lessen the pain of the thoughts of losing Micah. But it makes us focus on the fact that God is faithful in all things . He will not leave us. He loved us enough to die on the cross for us even though we are so unworthy. He will carry us in His all powerful hands until we can go to be with Him, regardless of what He asks us to walk.

This makes me cry. Not only because I am so thankful for those truths, but because I am at a point that I have surrendered Micah to Him. That makes me happy, but also scares me. It is irrational, I know and I almost don't want to say it, but it is just reality....  I almost feel like I have given God permission to do what He wants. I have given up control.  It is laughable to say that! It is totally ridiculous! God doesn`t need my permission to do anything.Who am I?

This is just where I am now. I guarentee you that I will have my down times again. It is an up and down journey. So I am thankful lately that low times are few and high times are many. It is a blessing.

So today, instead of being fearful of the scan, I am going to choose (only by His grace) to be thankful for the gifts he has given us and to trust that He knows best.

Choosing thankfulness and joy doesn't mean that I won't cry when we walk out of the hospital in a few hours.  The scan itself is not a big deal at all. It takes 10 minutes and is so easy for Micah. The fact that I know, that on a computer in that place there is a picture of Micah that will tell us if our life is going change or continue on this path, that has been such a gift to us, is hard. Even when we are trusting and resting in Him, the facts still hurt.

Thank you for your prayers and emails in the last days. We have needed them and we can feel the prayers. God is using them. That is such a beautiful thing.

We are going camping from Friday until Tuesday and hope to be able to get results on Wednesday. It is the summer though. Last summer it took 2 weeks one time to get results. We will let you know when we know.

Please keep praying that we will have peace.

Thanks you so much!
Belinda