I have started to write in my mind so many times this week, but it never seemed right. I wish I could get out what is on my heart. This will be my best attempt.

Ken's uncle Dick passed away this morning. How sad. He was a beautiful man, with a large beautiful family. He will be missed. I grieve for Ken's mom and the whole family. But there is much joy in his passing. He has gone to be with Jesus. I was surprised at myself this morning when I found out. Just like I laugh loud and smile deeply, I grieve deeply. When others hurt, I feel it. But this time, I cried, yes for the family, but more out of relief, maybe even longing that Uncle Dick is sitting with Jesus today.

It's the journey of life that has been on my mind. I have never really seen this life as clearly as I do right now. This life is so full of joy and laughter. I do love my life. I have been blessed with my family and friends, the Holy Spirit lives in me and God has given me the best friend I could have ever asked for, to walk through this life with.

But, this life is so hard and so temporary. It is a place that I am passing through. I want to be here as long as possible for those who love me, but have no desire to live till I am 90.  The sinful world we live in hurts so much. Praying for sick kids everyday hurts. Watching a widow learn to live without her best friend hurts. The death of an uncle hurts. Watching a little family long for a baby hurts. Our striving everyday to fight against our sin hurts. Watching people lose loved ones in a tornado hurts. Displeasing God hurts. The mess I make everyday, interacting with my kids hurts so much. (I am thankful for grace!) The scan that is booked for mid July, makes me cry and hurts me so deeply that I can't even explain it. It all hurts.

I will not wish this life away. God would not be pleased in that. I am here for a purpose, His purpose. I will take joy in the life He has given. I will enjoy all the blessings and with His help learn through the trials.

But I am waiting and longing for His coming. The fact that I know He will come and that He will make everything new is a balm to my hurting heart.

Revelation 21:1-6 (ESV)

21:1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,  and God himself will be with them as their God.  4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” 6 And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.