I choose to giggle......

Today we are going to Niagara Falls with Ken's family. This trip is an annual one and is so fun. We are so blessed with a big, loving, Christ following, supportive, giving family. It is so neat for my kids to have so many cousins to play with. I believe Grace was number 20 or 21. It is special that we have 9 brothers and sisters to talk with and to love.

What a blessing.

As I am  running around  like a crazy woman and blasting Chris Tomlin getting ready to go, I have been thinking about last year. I started thinking that sometimes these annual things are so hard. There is always the wondering if this is the last year we do this as a complete family. Without Micah our family will never be whole again on this earth. I started to get sad, and was thinking about last year. Last year on the Friday of our family trip we found out that Micah's tumor grew some more and we weren't sure what we were going to do for treatment on the following Monday. Things were so uncertain. We didn't know if we were coming to the end of our treatment or not.

I remember standing by the kiddie slides watching Keagan and Siah going down and telling my sister in law, Aileen that we were in trouble and that it was growing. I remember the next day standing in the wave pool talking with brother in law Brad, telling him that we have started funeral stuff and that my parents have taken care of arrangements at the cemetary for us.
 
Thinking about these things, makes me cry and makes me feel nauseous. The memories are tough. I have realized this morning that I could choose to dwell on the sadness of the memories. There is a time for that. It is necessary to work through things for sure. But today, I could also choose to giggle in thankfulness that I am packing up five kids. We have our beautiful little Grace, we have our spunky Micah and we get to go out as a family of 7.

I choose to giggle and praise the Lord today. 

Thank you Lord. You are a great and merciful God, who has given us such a beautiful gift!