My Favourites!

These two pictures below are very flawed. They are SUPER fuzzy. Micah has his shirt on backwards. Josiah has no shirt and actually no pants either!  They show our nasty ugly walls. I can't rid of the red eye on Joshua. Grace is not looking in either of them. It is not a "good picture". As I was going through my pictures I almost deleted them twice. But I just couldn't do it. I think these two pictures are almost my favourites ever, even with all of the flaws. 

Look at them and I will tell you why I love them so much.

These pictures were taken on my 34th birthday this past September. Ken and the kids spoiled me with presents and cards. But these pictures are by far the best presents I could have received.  I love these pictures because we are so happy together and because I am surrounded by all of my littles.

I have always appreciated my kids and have loved being a mom.  But since we have had Grace, my perspective has changed quite a bit.

I never understood "big" families. I just didn't get it!  Our family is not big compared to many I know.  But  my definition of big is 5 and up! (o: So we are now a big family and I have never been happier. I think that my focus has changed. When you have so many kids and you homeschool your life can't help being all about the kids. Before I was focussed on growing them up and out, as opposed to enjoying daily life with them. Of course, I need to teach them about math and reading. But there is so much more to it than that. We have been given the responsibility to nurture them and teach them about the Lord. I have invested myself more in my kids now than I ever have. I have been taking time to read to them, play more games with them and form deeper relationships with them. We spend more time in prayer and doing devotions together.We talk about how the Lord wants us to live and the character He wishes us to have. I have stopped being so busy and have let things get a little messier. I am asking God to help me to focus on the eternal things, instead of just the temporary. I need to give my whole self to them now. Now is the time. We don't get to do this over again. They are only little for such a short time.

I guess I should qualify that I had been trying to do all these things for the last 12.8 years. (o: But God has taught me things a long the way and has shown me my shortcomings, especially lately!  My approach will never be perfect, but I pray that God will keep working on me and in me, showing me where I fall short.

I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't tell you that its not all fabulous. Some days all I see is mess and work. I grow weary of the 24 hour a day job that I have been given. Getting up in the middle of the night with Grace is not my favourite thing to do. Wiping pee off the toilet seat is annoying. Serious. Some days the responsibility of homeschooling is overwhelming. There are days that I consider calling in replacement workers so I can have a break! (o:

I am not sure how much of the change has to do with us graduating to a big family and really realizing the beauty and blessing of a house full of kids. It could be because we have struggled for the last few years to just survive and give our kids the love and attention they need. That makes us appreciate even the small little things. It could also be that God simply just opened my eyes. (o: But whatever the reason is, I am thankful.