In Christ Alone our Hope is Found

Tessa is turning 6 tomorrow. She...  Is not looking forward to soccer because it's just not her. "Dad, I am not meant to be rough and tough. Ballet is me. I am meant to be kind, sweet and beautiful."  Sometimes struggles with being the youngest and watching her siblings get older and move on without her. "Mom, I have bad memories... Josh leaving. Micah leaving... (Silence. Then wistfully.) Nice boys. (Long Sigh.)" "Mom, when is Micah going to move back into our home forever. Where he belongs?" I said probably never. She wept and screamed his name. Her heart broke. There are advantages to being the youngest. But there is hard that comes with it.  Has mature thoughts and asks insightful questions.  Feels deeply and loves well.  Loves all things soft and cuddly. I'm included in this category. (: Is sure that she shares more 'genetics' with me than with Ken. "Mom, we just have so much in common...." Loves to swim (It clicked last week...

I am writing this post, not so much to update you. I don't think my injury is update worthy. Ha. Seriously. But I need to document all of my equipement to look back on someday.  It's been three weeks since my fall and I have made tremendous progress. I went from not being able to straighten my leg for 2 weeks, to being able to walk in the last week. I use crutches or a cain when I am tired, but I can walk very slowly on my own. There is some pain still and my body is exhausted, but it's healing pain. I drove 2 times this week out of necessity and it's quite excruciating. Sitting in the van is also very uncomfortable. The top of my leg is still super bruised. It makes me disappointed that I'm not ready for church yet. I need a couch to sit on if it's more than 15 minutes. But I am so thankful for my healing. I appreciate every step and the freedom I have to get up and get myself some water or help tidy up and make some of supper. It's given me a whole new per...

I have been meaning to sit and write this post for a week. But out of necessity, my kids have been doing the majority of the work in the house and my computer charger got lost in the shuffle 10 days ago. I thought it would be around the corner every day. But it's wasn't. So I had to wait for one from amazon. (: But first!!!!! My sister in law Lynne came home today. She has been in the hospital for a few months with COVID. My tears haven't stopped all day. What a tender Father we have. I just don't have the words to express our thankfulness. The Lord has heard our prayers and we are so grateful and humbled by His goodness.  Two weeks ago yesterday I fell. I didn't fall, I flew. It was a home morning for me. I didn't take care of Oma that morning, so we got school done pretty early. The door was locked and I had my pajajma dress on - with pockets. It was one of my favourite kind of mornings.  Since we had so much time, the little girls and I decided to rearrange t...

We just had our first birthday of the year. I hope to write a post for each kid around their birthday. If I say it here, maybe it will happen. It gets a little dicey because we have 4 birthdays within 3 weeks in April. I will have to start now. (: They are all big ones this year - 6, 12, 16, 18, 20, 24. They are all such pretty, round numbers. I remember saying 10 years ago-  Can you imagine when our kids are these numbers? And now we are here! Josh's number isn't as signficant as the others, but it is my favourite number and it's his first year as a married man. How special is that!  This past Friday Micah turned 20. I think that every birthday is special. Another year of life given is always a gift. But there is gravity in this birthday for us- Us as in Ken and I. Since Micah was little when we walked the hard with him, he doesn't remember everything. Ken and I can see it as a story and I think that his view is different from ours. It's more bits and pieces. There...

I seem to be constantly writing posts about Tessa in my mind. The things she says and does often make me smile. She is sweet, soft and funny and a little bit of crazy and quirky all balled into one. Ken says that she is so like me and I love that. I regret not writing down the things she has said in the last while. Now that I'm here, I don't have the words.   The thing I love most about her is how much she loves me. Even if I leave for 10 minutes, she runs to me when I get home and hugs my leg and tells me how much she missed me and how much she loves me. She tells me multiple times a day that she loves me soooooooooooo much!!!!! Often when she tells me, she will kiss my leg.   The picture below was taken on a Saturday afternoon a few months ago. The sun was shining and it was chilly. We grabbed my pillow and a warm blanket, put some music on and had a nap on the trampoline. I woke up because she had one hand on my face and the other on my throat. haha. But it's beau...

I came across a quote on facebook this morning in my memories and it's one of my favourites. I was going to just share it again, but I started writing and it got too long and felt a bit too personal. By putting it in a post, you have to click into my life to read it and somehow that feels better to me.  Sometimes when we are hurt by people, it's harder to see God's sovereignty. All you can see are those people, the hurt and the wreckage that was left behind. It can leave you stuck, without perspective and holding a ball of yarn. All mixed up in the yarn is confusion, feelings of inadequacy, hurt, questions, disappointment (etc) AND the knowledge that God is always good and that His path is always the right one. It can be hard to reconcile those two sides. Sometimes it can take years for you to find the end of the string to start untangling. In the mean time, you can feel like you are just standing there frozen, holding your yarn while life goes on without you. But as much a...

November 27, 2020. We got a call from Micah at about 10pm telling us that the van he was in (not ours) was in the middle of the road and that they would need a tow truck. By our conversation, I got that the van broke down. The three younger kids were sleeping. Ken had just put some croquettes in the oven for a snack and we were just hanging out together. I took the car and Ken took the van, anticipating that Ken would wait with the boys for a tow truck and I would bring Natalie and her friend back to our house. Just after I turned onto Sunset, Micah called me and told me to not be upset when I got there because they had to call it in and there were emergency vehicles there. They were all ok. It's all ok. He was kind to warn me. But I actually wasn't prepared.  I drove down Sparta Line past the golf course, rounded a few bends, and stopped at the top of the hill. I had just driven through the darkness of the back roads and all of the sudden the darkness was filled with flashing ...