In Christ Alone our Hope is Found

 Tessa Jayne (4) brings us all so much joy. Her happiness and excitement is contagious. She is our number 6 and I have learned that even though I think I will remember everything, I actually don't remember much. All of my babies and little people blur together. So I need to get this down. Tessa is a passionate girl and tell me she loves me in big ways . Today in Goderich She says: I love you so much that I can't even stand it. I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much - With her hands outstretched. I love you like a crazy person!! Mum... You are just so fluuuuuufffyyyy. I love you so much that I neeeeed to take a bite out of you. Mom you are so great that I feel like I need to eat your arm like a beaver. I love you so much that I can't even control myself - As she squeezes my neck so hard that it hurts. MOOOOOOM I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAAAZZZEEEEE. Mom you are so soft and warm like a kitty cat - She says as she cuddles into me. The most outrageous one...

I've been diving into the Word since January. It excites me. I could be the poster girl for bible reading strugglers. In the past, I could easily go for a few weeks without opening my bible on my own. I would feel awful about it, but not always bad enough to pick it up. Now if I go one or two days, I am drawn back like I am being physically pulled. It has become a want, a desire and a must. Through the years, I have had seasons that I have been more faithful than others, but if I had to do a summary of my life, I would give myself a failing grade. It's not natural for me. I have fought with it forever and it's always been heavy on my shoulders. I have deeply loved the Lord for a long time and I still don't  understand why I don't naturally gravitate to His Word. We started bible reading accountability groups at church for the ladies and it's been an incredible blessing. There are 6-8 to a group and most of the groups have Facebook pages and we read together a...

I was on facebook the other day and saw something that 10 years out, still struck me deep inside. I follow pages like Sick Kids, Truth 365 and a few other pages that fall into the same category. I saw this video . I watched it and I cried. Ken cried too. It was just so familiar. No matter how much time passes, those kinds of tears are never forgotten. The elevator mom, the hospital hall mom, the mom in the car, the shower mom, the kitchen table mom, the mom in the bed - All me. When the mom got out of the car loaded down with a little suitcase and all of her stuff  - That just felt so familiar. The mom standing in the back of the elevator, wiping her tears and straightening her shoulders as she walked out to go back to her child's room was a very real thing. I don't share this for sympathy. I share because I have written a lot of posts about our cancer years, but I could never successfully convey the depth of these feelings. It's impossible to put them into words.  The ...

I know a little girl...   Who started out looking like this... And this... Who rolls her eyes back into her head and sighs when she eats strawberries and whipped cream Who jumps up when she heard the pastor say that Jesus is alive again and whispered with wide eyes, "HE'S ALIVE!!!!" Who runs to me and says, "I have very bad news." Then with such expression and emotion she will tell me something that is distressing to her or she will tattle on the big kids if they are doing something that she knows that I wouldn't like. Often she ends with,  "Actually!!" (with her hands up in the air) Who runs to me and says, "I have fantastic news!!!" Then she will tell me something that she thinks is amazing. It often ends with actually too. Who can dance extremely well. Like for real. It's surprising.  Who doesn't like dirt anymore. If she spills, gets wet or if I take her off the counter with wet hands, things go bad quick...

This picture came up on my memories yesterday on Facebook. It brought instant tears - Not a cry that makes you smile and a few tears come out of the corners your eyes, but a cry that needed to be done alone. I saw these two boys in this picture and how young they are here melted my heart. It's hard to believe that they are men already - 18 and 22 today. At this time, we were 13 months out of relapse. Micah's surgery was March 25, 2010 and this was April 9, 2011. This past March marked 10 years cancer free for Micah. I have been meaning to write about it, but the words aren't there. I can't find them yet. In April 2011, we were still living 3 months at a time from scan to scan. We had started the healing process that took years to complete, but we were still very broken and tender. Seeing this picture immediately put me back there. The one boy suffered physically, mentally and emotionally, but yet the Lord spared him emotional baggage once he was through the phy...

We have done a lot of driving and some walking during this quarantine time. Now that's it's getting warmer, we plan to do more walking. I love taking pictures and tend to just post them on Facebook. My blog has been sorely neglected. I am going to start posting my favorite pictures here again. The kids and I went for a walk in St Thomas and ended up at the old rail station in the middle of town. I got some great pictures. (Tessa 4, Grace 9, but 10 soon, Siah 14 in two weeks, Natalie 16, Micah 18)  (Josh isn't here, but he is turning 22 this week. We are not complete without him.) This picture of Tessa makes her look like she is 18 months instead of 4. (:  Port Stanley Tessa had a pinata for her 4rth birthday on March 29th. She hit it once, but couldn't bare to break it, so she just pulled the strings at the bottom to get the candy out. I love this look on her face.                     ...

There are lots of things that touch me lately - Some are beautiful and some are sad. Here are my top 3 from this week. 1. There was a wedding that was supposed to happen in May, but they moved it to April before more restrictions could be put into place. Since there are only 5 people allowed in one place at a time, this wedding consisted of the bride, the father of the bride, the groom, the photographer and the pastor. Pastor Joel served as the pianist and the officiant. The photographer was also the witness. The photographer and the groom are cousins. They are also 2nd or 3rd Ken's cousins. Their parents are Ken's 1st or 2nd cousins. Whatever. We are related.  😉 I watched a video from the ceremony and it was so beautiful. It moved me deep inside and I messy cried. I cried because the church was empty, but more because it was special. The simplicity and purity of the ceremony was something I had never seen before. 2 people, a father, a pastor and a photographer. All the no...