In Christ Alone our Hope is Found

What I have learned in the last 10 days..... Mapquest is INnnnvaluable. Ken is getting too old to play in baseball tournaments. (Picture a man hobbling with a giant raspberry on his leg.) I-96 and 196 are different highways. There is a 196, I-96 and a 69. To people around here, they are very different, but I still need to think. The people from our Grand Rapids community are very kind. We won`t get shot walking down the main street by our house (Division Ave). It slightly scared me the first few days.  That it`s kind of silly to have a 75 year old man, half asleep in a bank, as their security guard. Really? If he can do that job, so can I. Where do I apply! (o: It`s OK to take Grace places with applesauce in her hair. Nothing bad will happen. That you need a degree in something to figure out the stop lights, especially the left turn one. There is a green, yellow, flashing red and solid red. I am thinking you can go on all of them except the so...

I had a completely different post that I wrote yesterday about our "goings on" here, but we just got back from a service that I need to write about. On Wednesday, a wall with the names of approx 57,000 soldiers who lost their lives in the Vietnam war, was transported to a veteran park just down the street. It was beautiful. To bring the wall to the park, the bikers and the wall passed under the flag.  The wall is beautiful and it was very long. It went way this way.... and way that way..... Tonight there was a service with some songs. A letter was read that was written by a woman who was in Vietnam during the war, thanking the soldiers for their service. There was a time when the Veterans were called to the wall to be saluted and for them to salute their fellow soldiers, whose names were on the wall. There was a 21 gun salute and the bagpipes played amazing grace. There were wreaths, letters and picture all along the bottom of the wall. ...

So we are here. As in here in Grand Rapids. We have been here for about 76 hours. We are getting settled rather quickly. My livingrooom, diningroom, and kitchen are pretty much tidy and settled.Our bedrooms are only half settled and the garage and and downstairs look like a bomb went off! (o; I will sacrifice areas that I don't need to look at for tidy in our living areas. I have to say one more thing before I tell my story. Ken and I have never felt more at home in a house so quickly in all our life. We walk around in here like this house was made for us. This house is naturally homey and comfy. When you add our furniture and people it is just so delightful. Seriously.  OK. It all started Wednesday with getting the truck. Ken and I left at 10:30ish for Port Huron. We got a 26 footer. That night all the brothers, some of the sisters and many of the kids, came over to load. It didn't go so well from my perspective. I maybe wasn't as ready as I should have been...

It's been a long 2 days, filled with an over flowing truck, laughter, decisions on what to take and what not to take, frustration, a trailer rentedl to pull behind the van, MESS, list making, house signing away, family pulling together selflessly to help, tears, toothaches, kids having fun with their cousins and many more things that I am too tried to think of. I am disconnecting my internet tonight and we are leaving first thing in the morning. I am not sure when I will have internet again, but next time I blog I will be in Michigan.... Craziness and beautiful all smashed together in one.

Can you please pray for my kids, especially Josh and Micah? They are really hurting. Josh doesn't show it  much, and Micah doesn't share either, but Micah's red rimmed eyes are very telling..  This is so hard for them. They are experiencing lots of last things. Tonight is Micah's last baseball game. Josh had his last sleep over with the kids from our homeschooling group last night. They threw a big good bye party for him. It is a great group of kids that Josh will really miss. Nad is sad that her good friend Mia is on holidays, so she couldn't have one more sleep over. I told her that Mel and the girls will come for a giant sleep over after we have moved. Yes Mel? Siah announced he is "act-u-ally excited to move". His cousin and good friend Keagan is coming over on Thursday. He got to play with Trent on Sunday. So he is all good. I was prepared to explain that Keagan and Trent will come to visit just like Mia will and we will come here to visit ...

This is what I wrote last night: I just wrote a whole post about moving. About how sad I am that we just had our last Sunday at home. About how my history is here. About how change is hard. About how Micah's history is here. About how people know us here. About how it will be hard that people won't know what happened to our family and how it has changed us. About how we won't see our 30 plus family members in church every Sunday. About how my heart is hurting. About how I will miss my people. Well. I erased it.  I am not going to write about that stuff anymore. I will be sad and some aspects will hurt. BUT I know I will be OK. God is in this and He is always faithful. As of now, I choose to only look at the good. I will acknowledge the hard and let myself feel it, but I will not sit at the computer and write about it. I am kind of tired of hearing it. Seriously . I meant it, but I need to write one more hard post about the hospital today. Today I went in for Micah...

I really like this picture. Am I butterfly-ish? Am I excited? Am I scared? Am I picturing my kids playing in our new house? Do I wonder where God is taking us? Am I sitting in a huge mess? Should I be packing instead of sitting here? Am I listening to a talk by James Mc Donald as I pack? Am I so thankful for each healthy day Micah has? Am I sometimes scared that cancer will come back? Am I bothered by that spot in his abdomen? Am I addicted to looking at audiobooks on itunes?   Do I wish I could buy a new one everyday to listen while I clean and walk? Should I suggest a line in the monthly budget that says audiobooks? (o: Am I weary of sinning? Do I realize my need of Savior everyday? Did Grace just go to grab a brush to brush my hair while I am writing this? Are my cupboards really empty? Have I really packed over 100 boxes? Have I been thinking about cancer kids and families -those who have been lost and those still fighting? Have I enjoyed the quiet ...

Conversations with Siah: I told Siah he has to have a needle tomorrow. He quickly shot back, "Is it because I haven't been brushing my teeth?" It doesn't seem funny, but he shot it back quickly with the widest, most scared eyes ever! We had a conversation last week and I told him if he does't brush his teeth he will get cavities and then he will need needles when they have to fix them. I know, I know, bad thing to do. When he does have a cavity, I am going to have to tell him that they are not that bad. BUT I already have a plan. I going to let him have Micah's EMLA on tomorrow. It dulls the pain of a needle. I will probably not get it in the right spot, but it will help in his mind. Then it won't hurt as much and I will then compare dentist needles to doctor needles and explain that they use a kind of EMLA cream on his gums so that it won't hurt as much either. See,  I am brilliant. But in the mean time it will motivate him to brush his teeth!...

Soooooooo, my kids left this morning with Ken to go camping. We just got back from camping on Monday. But this is a way up north, roughing it, bears kind of camping that goes better without a mom and a 2 year old. I always feel a mixture of sadness and joy when they leave. I will miss them and struggle to give them over into God's hands. I some how think I am this amazing person who can keep all harm away. If I am not there who will take care of them? I know, crazy. Firstly God is in control, secondly Ken is very capable. I plan to use this time to pack up the house. This morning I did business. I closed our utilites here. Cancelled house insurance, changed addresses and booked the moving truck. I tried to hook up our utilittes for our new house, but it was like I was trying to borrow a million dollars. We don't have a Visa or a social security one, no not even a temporary one. I think I will have to wait to do that stuff until I get there. Yikers. On the way to camping la...

We went camping on Friday morning and got home tonight. Ken and I quite despise camping...... Packing for a week, unpacking for another, sleeping on the ground, using bathrooms that are out house- ish, lugging coolers in and out of the van in the morning and night., having wet food from the ice, having to walk for 7 minutes to get to the shower, seeing raccoon prints on sweaters that are left outside, smelling like smoke, getting into a damp bed at 12am,  sweeeeating in the humidity, having a screaming 2 year old at 2am because she was hot, over tired and her bug bite was itchy and she had a phlemmy chest, waking up at 6am which is way before the rest of the group and having to try to keep the kids quiet, cooking on a coleman stove,  having muddy, smelly, sandy and sticky kids, finding half drunken drink boxes smushed in between air mattresses.... Shall I go on?  (O:  But, Ken and I looove spending time with our kids and the extended Pennings family. What a bless...

I know I already wrote a post today (If you haven't read it, will you? Lucy's family needs some prayer), but I need to just chat this out. Around supper time I got an email from Micah's Doc saying that his scan was clear. Those spots in his abdomen and lungs are unchanged. That is great news and we are so thankful. They have been unchanged for a long time, so we confident that they are just scar tissue or something else harmless. Than k you Lord!! I have just been wondering around my house, amid the mess of packing for moving and packing for camping. I can't really seem to get anything done. There is so much swirling in my mind. I am overwhelmed with joy. There was a part of me that was expecting him to be healthy. I was at peace, knowing that God was leading us to go and a healthy Micah is part of God putting all of the pieces together.    Micah has not had cancer for 2 years and 4 months. That is such a long time. It is more that we could have imagined. I ha...

Lucy My heart aches for many families. There are so many people I think about every day and pray that the Lord will hold them close. Today reading about  Lucy and her family  has just broken my heart in so many pieces. If you have read the links that I have put up here or on facebook, you will remember that Lucy relapsed and got very sick. They thought they were losing her, but God had different plans. At one point they were not even sure if she did actually have cancer again bc there is so much scar tissue and damage from radiation in her br ain. Actually, I am not sure if they know for sure yet if Lucy has cancer. They moved Lucy to another hospital in another city, last week for various therapies. In the last few days she bottomed out and they though they were losing her again. So she is being transferred back to her home hospital and docs.  They are in complete limbo. Do they grieve or do they hope? Do they start the process of letting go or do they hold o...

Saturday was our last day of cleaning the church. Hurray. I was so excited the morning of. I had one hour to go. It wasn't until later in the day that I was actually finished. I found myself walking really slowly as I finished up and was locking the doors. I brought our keys over to Ben and Heather and it was done. Wow. Those 9 years went really quickly.  We started cleaning about 4 months after we moved to this house. Josh had just turned 5. Micah was 18 months and I was almost expecting my Naddie girl.  I loved this job when I started. It gave me new purpose. I worked every day at church then. That place was SPOT-LESS. No really, every single corner and window was done every week. I am pretty sure it actually sparkled! (o; The kids loved going then already, it was a playground for them. I remember for at least a year or two after we started, every time I opened an outside door at church, while were cleaning,  Micah would run out. I can't count the times I would have...

Today and yesterday were big days. First today. Today was scan day. Micah and I were there for 8:30 and were done by 9:30. That was great. I was very thankful. Micah was at peace and only a struggled a few times to hold his breath long enough. The only thing that went wrong is that I wrecked my credit card by having it in my pocket in the MRI room. I remembered just as I walked to the table. But the strip was stripped as soon as I walked in. I can handle that! (O: I did well emotionally too. Tears were close to the surface as we left the hospital, but that is to be expected. I asked our Doc if she could please try to get the results as soon as she can. We are praying it will be within the next couple of days. Yesterday. We traveled to GR yesterday. The ride up was marvelous, although it was a little longer than it should have been. We didn't see the exit for the right interstate. We took the one that went to Detroit instead of Flint, so we had to cut across. It was fine b...