In Christ Alone our Hope is Found

I wrote this yesterday. We are now at the hotel and having a very fun time. I re-read this and I realized that this is very hard to explain. But I really wanted to get it down. As I type there are only 3 kids in the van with Ken and I! We are on the way to Toronto. The boys are going to a Jay's game tonight while Nads and I hang at the hotel. Tomorrow we will swim in the morning and then we will all go to the afternoon game. I am so excited to go. It will be special to spend time with the big kids without the work that the little kids bring! (o: Usually Ken only gets to do these things with the kids. I woke up super excited and was going to put it in my status on facebook. But something stopped me. My heart is so heavy. There is a young girl, named Jesse that Micah went through treatment with the first time and she relapsed in the last months. Currently she is in Toronto recovering from stem cell transplant. She is having an incredibly rough time. It makes the journey we walke...

Naddie got her hair cut. My girl is getting so big. (o: Don't look at her dirty, backwards shirt! Speaking of shirts... Do any of your kids wear their shirts backwards and at times inside out and backwards and don't even care? Do they ever grab two different socks that are different in style and color and just put them on? Mine do and I think they are kind of weird. (o

I know I say this all the time and that I probably enjoy my own pics 1000 times more than every else...But I love this one. Natalie is letting go of her helium balloon. Look at the tension in her neck. I remember that feeling! You wonder even as you let go, if you really want to part with it. (o: We watched it go for a really long time. I have 3 pics below where we could still see it. I took one more, but I couldn't see it on the picture it was too small! (o: It is almost in the very center of the picture in the cloud. I thought this was a neat one. I love hot air balloons, but you couldn't pay me to go in one. I am sure my balloon would be the one to hit a hydro line! (O:

Today I went to the hospital with Micah so he could have a check up and have his port flushed. Micah gets his port flushed every 6 weeks and he gets a check up every 3 months, usually a few weeks after his scan. Traditionally this is the day we find out results as well. But we have been around long enough to know not to wait until the day of the check up.  I talked to the Doc about getting Micah's port out. I am nervous to do that because last time he got it out, we had to put it back in 8 weeks later. That was very difficult emotionally for him. It is a small surgery, but he still has to go under for it. I learned today that as he grows, there is risk that a blood clot could form. There is always a risk for infection as well. So it may be best that it comes out soon. Usually going to the hospital is no problem. We get to sit in Art Therapy and chat. I get to see Barb, Micah's case manager. After all this time, I still miss these people. They are part of our lives. Today,...

Sunfest is a  festival downtown London in the park. It is full of music, things to buy and food from all over the world.  This is something Ken and I usually go to by ourselves, but this year we took all the kids. We thought they would love the atmosphere and love to listen to the music.  There was a group from Jamaica that was pretty neat. They listened for about 10 minutes and that was that. I was kind of disappointed. Ken and I like to put a chair down and just sit and watch people and listen to the music. Ken goes for the food. Haha. He goes everywhere for the food! (o: He loves strange HOT food. So he usually gets at least 3 different things to try. I would say he likes the food from India the best. Natalie and Siah loved this mural that they were able to paint on. I love love love this picture. It was SOOOOOO crowded so we walked in single file, with me at the back so we didn't lose anyone. It thinned out for a minute so I was able to take this picture of my 4 ...

Ken and I were talking last night as we drove home from a walk at the beach and I told him that in the last two weeks, I was completely overwhelmed by the love, prayers and care that was shown to our family. It made me cry so many times. It felt like we were getting a great big group hug from about 500 people. It is a beautiful feeling and we don't take you all for granted.  I would like to thank you for responding with comments to my request for prayer for Micah. It was a comfort for Micah to "see" some of the people who love him.  Thank you for the emails and the facebook comments as well. We have a huge family in Christ and it is beautiful. Thank you for being part of it. (o: Belinda

For those of you who haven't heard, Micah's scan was clear! I have screamed it on facebook and have texted many. But now I need to sort through my day with words. Telling Ken that Micah is still cancer free was amazing. We cried, hugged and thanked the Lord. Telling Micah that his little body is still very healthy was simply beautiful. Ken and I hugged him and Micah cried tears of joy. I saw his shoulders let go of the tension. He just fell into us. It is super overwhelming for him. It just happened that Josh and Grace were sleeping and the other two were visiting my parents. So Ken and I were able to sit with Micah to pray and thank the Lord. We do that as a family as well, but I was thankful that Micah could have a little quiet time with Ken and I. After that he went outside and just spent some time on his own. He is such a little person, with such big thoughts. I Year and 4 Months. That is a lot of days that God has given us. We are so thankful. To be honest, I can hard...

Just before we leave for camping, I want to thank you all for your love. We are amazed and touched deeply  at how many of you have reached out with encouragement and prayers. I shouldn't be surprised. God has blessed us with a beautiful family in Christ. I have read these comments to Micah and they made him cry. First because his heart does hurt, but secondly, he is so overwhelmed and encouraged with the love you have shown him.  One thing I am so thankful for this time is that I am relaxed about the scan. I am not positive it will be clear. But I am resting. It makes it much easier to help Micah when I am in this place. God's blessings are many. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for loving our family and for praying for us. We will be back Monday or Tuesday, depending on how things go! Grace may just be a challenge camping. She has a bad cold and is not feeling great. Also I have to sleep on an air mattress and there is no air conditioning. For real? haha.  We are p...

I have a specific prayer request tonight. I wasn't sure whether to put this out there, but I asked Micah and he said it would be good for me to do it. I noticed today that Micah was very moody, angry and teary all at the same time. This scan is weighing heavily on his heart. I am so thankful that he told me. It takes a lot for him to open up now. Often he will just say he is fine, when I know that there is something wrong. In the past, usually he would follow our lead on how to feel. If we are upset then there must be something to be upset about. If Ken and I are feeling fine about things, then things must be fine. But I have noticed that he is starting to feel things on his own. His feelings aren't dependent on how we are feeling. It brings a whole new dimension to the journey for Micah. Could you please pray for Micah? Pray that He will feel the Lord's arms wrapped around him and will take comfort in the truths that he knows well?

We had a sermon on Sunday about the healing of a  lame man. It clicked as I was listening that our miracle isn't so different. It clicked for my good friend too. That is neat! (o: Micah's life truly is a miracle. Sure, the circumstances are different. God healed a lame man and Micah had cancer. The lame man was healed by words and Micah was healed by surgery. The lame man probably wouldn't have died from being lame and Micah would have died from cancer. I guess the man could have died if he couldn't have earned money to eat. But really none of those things are the point. The point is God has shown us His power and we can't forget that. We continually marvel at the miracle God has performed in Micah's body. I want to shout from the mountain tops what God has done for our family. But I think I have told everyone I know already and the people they know too. I have run out of people to tell! haha. (o:  This year and 4 months has been a gift and an amazing  mirac...

We are 5 days away from Micah having a CT of his lungs. We should be getting used to this. Last time we were pretty relaxed. This time, not so much. I wouldn't say we are panicking. But we sure are thinking about it. The past few days, cancer has been more real to me than it has been in a very long time. Sitting beside Micah on the couch last night, in a very quiet house, looking in his beautiful eyes as he explained something to me, shook me to the core. His eyes are like a window. Some days I look in his eyes and I see my crazy, mischievous, 9 year old who often makes me laugh and sometimes makes me crazy. At times I see a sensitive boy who celebrates others' joy and who feels their sadness deeply. But other times, even when he is happy, like last night, there is something in his eyes that hurts me. There is so much depth there. Those eyes have seen and expressed so much sorrow.  His eyes have pleaded with me in the past to take away the pain. I have seen looks of pan...

So... Grace has been super miserable the last few days. I am just not used to a grumpy baby. Maybe she is getting more teeth. Her nose is runny, maybe she is getting a bad cold or maybe she is getting the chicken pox that has been going around. This is what she has looked like. These pictures are courtesy of Josiah. I would never consider taking a picture of her when she is crying!  I have looked this way a few times too today. The girl is wearing me down! (o: Good thing that for awhile tonight she looked like this.... And she wiggled her toes like this...  (o: I love this little girl. Even with all her tears she still melts my heart. On another note, Josiah got stuck in a tree. (like a good 15 ft up a tree) Ordinarily, that is not my job. Stuck kids is Ken's job. But he was gone to get his hair cut. So I went to see where he was stuck. He was stuck in a prickly tree with no shoes or shirt. It was high up. So I went in to get something on my feet and to grab the v...

Today, we went to Embro for the Highland Games. I didn't get tons of pics because the batteries died in the camera. Bummer! So the first picture is of my least favourite part! Haha. The drums are neat, but the bagpipes and I don't exactly get along. Strangely, Ken likes this part. I think that is weird!!! (o: Can't have a picture post without Grace! (o: She was such a good girl, even though it was hot and she napped for maybe 30 minutes all day. This is the part we like the best. THE TUG OF WAR. It is so crazy fun. They pull hard. Sometimes a match was over in 15 seconds, sometimes in 1 min 30. It was intense. They wear skate boots for the support. They have a coach screaming at them. There are mens, open and ladies competitions. Cool, cool, cool. The team that won was from Wisconsin. See this kid? He is doing a bagpipe test. Really? I always picture old guys with beards bagpiping. But there were tons of kids doing it. I think its like a piano exam. We were eat...