tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43350204952747708162024-03-13T21:25:29.252-04:00In Christ Alone our Hope is FoundBelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.comBlogger410125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-19249843416776747412024-01-01T17:11:00.011-05:002024-01-01T19:25:55.576-05:00<p>I go to Metro a few times a week as a run in and run out. I care for my Oma twice a day and it's right across the street. The prices are insane, so I will just go to grab sales or milk or cans of rotel because it's the only place that I have found it in town. Their deli made pizza is also really great on a busy day once in a while. Fourteen dollars for an extra large pepperoni that doesn't taste like card board is a real deal. </p><p>After Oma's on Saturday evening, I ran into Metro, just hoping that I wouldn't meet anyone that I know. You know those times? lol I was dresssed in my burgundy sweat pants and black zip up and birkenstocks and my hair was a mess. I was in the produce department looking at bags of honeycrisps for $2. Quite a steal. I also had a pizza in my cart for the girls for supper on Sunday night as a treat. An older man came up to me and asked me about the pizza in my cart. He said that he had heard negative things since the place had been renovated. I assured him that they are good pizzas and that my kids love them. He was happy to hear it. He said that he never shops here, but he got a gift card. He seemed put out that he needed to figure out how to spend it. I wanted to say - Hey I've got you. I can help you with that. (: </p><p>It's not unual for me to talk to someone in the grocery store. For an introvert, I am pretty social. But this day, I wanted to crawl under the shelves because I wasn't counting on stopping anywhere, felt messy and was in a hurry. I often find myself running physically and mentally, with a cup that's not full and empties quickly. But there was something about him that made me pause and give him time to say something else before I smiled and said good bye. I had to tell myself -"Stop. Wait..... It doesn't matter that you are going to miss supper that Ken has on the table." My shoulders went down and I relaxed as he started the conversation. I stood there rocking with a bag of apples in my arms for 20 minutes.</p><p>We touched on so many topics. The state of the world. The loss of his wife 20 years ago. Her job as a nurse, his as a community service worker. Their adopted daughter who ran off at 19, 12-ish years ago-He has lost a lot. The school system. We talked about Ken's job, Micah's cancer and having 6 kids. Movies that he has watched. The trauma that comes with nursing and with spending time in the hospital. What he learned and how he grew walking with his wife as she died. I talked about how the Lord grew us in our dark times and that it was hard, but that I wouldn't trade them in for an easy road. He also gave me life advice. </p><p>Sometimes someone just needs to be heard and understood. They need eye contact and care. They need to know that they matter, even to a stranger. As we were ready to say good-bye, he shook my hand and we introduced ourselves. He told me with shining eyes that it was a pleasure to chat together. His eyes told me that those 20 minutes mattered. </p><p>This meeting in the grocery store is so small in the big picture and I didn't do anything extraordinary. But it has reminded me to slow down and watch for the opportunities that I will miss if I don't have my eyes open. The Lord put me in that place at that moment to listen to a man who needed someone. It reminded me that we are made for connection in our homes, in our churches and in our communities. </p><p>I was energized by this meeting in the produce department and was thankful that the Lord told me to pause and that I could give to someone. I will likely never see him again, but I am going to pray for him and his losses and lonliness and that maybe if he heard a little bit about the Lord's care and the peace that a relationship with our Saviour brings, that a seed will be planted. </p><p>Stop. Listen. Open yourself. Give. Encourage. Be encouraged. Pray. </p><p><br /></p>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-82031114128140855022023-01-05T10:54:00.008-05:002023-01-05T19:07:17.647-05:00Always Faithful. <p>I'm getting older and find myself reflecting on the past and looking towards the future differently than I did as a younger person. The Lord has seen it best to make our path more windy than straight. Some days I long for a straight simple path, but as I continue to mature and experience life as a Jesus lover, I am seeing that our peak and valley life has taught me so much. </p><p>The more we need to depend on the Lord, the more we see who He is. Sometimes it's seen starkly in the moment and other times we need to look backwards to see the Lord's care, faithfulness, mercy, grace and steadfastness. It doesn't take away the hurt, disappointment or hard circumstances. He doesn't promise easy, but He does promise to always be with us. <b>The more experience we have in trusting Him in times of trouble, the more opportunity we have to see that He cares and is always faithful. In turn, the more natural it becomes for trust to be our default.</b> I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I have been seeing the Lord work. This morning I saw these words from Revive and I had to get this down. Keep going friend. He is faithful. </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqrzfSCCCvZx1qQ3E60Mb_8ObQAALU3KbwCF0l5oPpwkj4Jc5ndoSM94Jt4PfxLbP-h2QCVGAtQp9saZimHhkD3gCANAKRO07RhCxNgQbLQoJJvpOdrJKpR5Xkd9rS5_7x42xbPHDIipnG8KpPDAknnWfKCAJTR1jPuM5hO_k_WjiN5GOQjS5whHtK/s828/322948675_1868521526827853_8109607574095064486_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="828" data-original-width="828" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqrzfSCCCvZx1qQ3E60Mb_8ObQAALU3KbwCF0l5oPpwkj4Jc5ndoSM94Jt4PfxLbP-h2QCVGAtQp9saZimHhkD3gCANAKRO07RhCxNgQbLQoJJvpOdrJKpR5Xkd9rS5_7x42xbPHDIipnG8KpPDAknnWfKCAJTR1jPuM5hO_k_WjiN5GOQjS5whHtK/w400-h400/322948675_1868521526827853_8109607574095064486_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglAG1Czx5b7YUTE20Dp-uw1Z7iU0vLFXh032_ovix_A4GJo4AZoCgZ9YKVSRKSbp1s6A-vI7WMR5K-3O48RLThI3eXwOTbknOYnGw5ej8Tpf6qYQTkM6kZiuHgFT0OLoZT0EIUcypfqRwp9AEbHrDkUt76Zo8xuIYi-mTobOL88HvNgplmqjg5LVXY/s828/322940261_576789513787624_152477877649194214_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="828" data-original-width="828" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglAG1Czx5b7YUTE20Dp-uw1Z7iU0vLFXh032_ovix_A4GJo4AZoCgZ9YKVSRKSbp1s6A-vI7WMR5K-3O48RLThI3eXwOTbknOYnGw5ej8Tpf6qYQTkM6kZiuHgFT0OLoZT0EIUcypfqRwp9AEbHrDkUt76Zo8xuIYi-mTobOL88HvNgplmqjg5LVXY/w400-h400/322940261_576789513787624_152477877649194214_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifcqgEd9qNwAHiKLW5YDsKdWqfOpRk_cMXYgDjPOmJBI0mTPviFm4Pv5mRq_Tq9-Jdi0arjsDBcbiqSfr7wZTUrvL2Um4w2J2m9vKyXosRBNNPqrFVbQPVFOcvQkXj0W5OCu5gXlFxhDiaFFyX-raG5qMiy6-YZBb-E-ugtCykCpQsWMsQbCkGGSqb/s828/322816956_1184116438887961_2302726732907439049_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="828" data-original-width="828" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifcqgEd9qNwAHiKLW5YDsKdWqfOpRk_cMXYgDjPOmJBI0mTPviFm4Pv5mRq_Tq9-Jdi0arjsDBcbiqSfr7wZTUrvL2Um4w2J2m9vKyXosRBNNPqrFVbQPVFOcvQkXj0W5OCu5gXlFxhDiaFFyX-raG5qMiy6-YZBb-E-ugtCykCpQsWMsQbCkGGSqb/w400-h400/322816956_1184116438887961_2302726732907439049_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p><br /></p>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-71803948181399057852022-08-17T11:08:00.006-04:002022-08-17T15:17:16.119-04:00Death Under the Bridge<p></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxsW8vb913sJiG5GHcg3WNcSf8WklWHjxzdK94ToMigbI8kSW9Dhlnl9zwt8I2AGKuhlE67QFR7Y8AJj_vwz4ez20XD7kE1xyhZ_vVRgOyLCWYI_QweB_xQ3B3Bfvu_16rHVtBn-4YLr0XKRpQxFL-DNw2eAtAk89X7sbW0I25PXki3dkN-d3ndrgr/s664/bridge.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="417" data-original-width="664" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxsW8vb913sJiG5GHcg3WNcSf8WklWHjxzdK94ToMigbI8kSW9Dhlnl9zwt8I2AGKuhlE67QFR7Y8AJj_vwz4ez20XD7kE1xyhZ_vVRgOyLCWYI_QweB_xQ3B3Bfvu_16rHVtBn-4YLr0XKRpQxFL-DNw2eAtAk89X7sbW0I25PXki3dkN-d3ndrgr/s320/bridge.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On the way to Oma’s on Monday morning, I was driving down the hill on Fingal Line, under the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">elevated park bridge</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. There were two cars parked in the road, close to the bottom of the hill. At first, I thought that it was an accident. I slowed to see if all was well, but then I saw him. It’s been 2 days and as I write this, I am struggling with sadness. My chest is heavy and my heart physically hurts. Tears have been behind my eyes since Monday morning and fall a few times a day whenever the pictures of that morning run through my mind. </span><p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ff3d52d-7fff-ecbe-a7ee-d486d55b2b7c"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I stopped close to the lady standing in the left lane, I scanned the situation and adrenaline shot through my body. I asked the lady if they needed help, but as the words left my lips, I knew. The words were only my desperate longing for him not to be dead. She said, “No honey. We can’t help. He’s gone. I’ve already called 9-1-1.” She was very tender with me. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In those first moments as I scanned, I got a good look at him and the pictures have been burned into my brain since. I can tell you everything about him and I wish that I couldn't. I found out yesterday that he jumped and it made the ache grow even more. A man dying on the side of the road, laying there for strangers to find him. That’s sad. But a man who couldn't see his way out of whatever was troubling him and felt like he had no other option but to jump adds a different element of sadness. Maybe it was depression or mental illness. Maybe it was an overwhelming situation that he just couldn’t deal with. Maybe he just saw no point in living and had lost hope. Whatever it was, I hurt to think about his last moments and his family and friends. They may be sitting in their grief wondering why he did it, why they didn’t see it coming and if they could have given him more help. I’m praying for them. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I drove away and made it up the hill, past Jumbo. I was shaking and had to pull over. I cried and cried. The lady that was in front of me, did the same. Two strangers sat and cried for a man that neither knew. Confronting death in this way is shocking. Devastating. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thank the Lord that I had not gone 20 minutes earlier, like I usually do. It would have been me who found him. In the moment, I know that I would step in and do anything to help someone. Something naturally happens in those kinds of situations. You just do what you need to do and deal with the hard later. But I am so glad that I didn’t need to be the do-er. It would have made it that much harder to process today. I still work hard to manage my anxiety and I am just very tender. Too tender. I also thank the Lord that I didn’t have kids with me. 20 minutes earlier is the time that I normally bring Siah to work. The Lord dealt kindly with us that morning. He spared me from needing to check if the man had a pulse and having to wait for first responders and spared my kids from the scene. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I almost always know how I am going to end my post before I start writing it. But I don’t know what to say this time. I do know the truths that my life is built on though. We can always have hope and confidence in our Savior and in who God is. The Lord knew this man. His life. His heart. His troubles. The Lord knows my hurt heart, my questions and the pictures that won’t go away. He is perfectly just and perfectly wise. His sovereignty is a period, not a question. His tender hands hold us and shape us and love us and crawling under the shelter of His wings is the only place to go. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 11pt 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hear my cry, O God,</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> listen</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 17pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to my prayer;</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 11pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">from the end of the earth I call to you</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 11pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">when my heart is faint.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 11pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lead me to the rock</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 11pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">that is higher than I,</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 11pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">for you have been my refuge,</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 11pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 4pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">a strong tower against the enemy.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 11pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">L</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">et me dwell in your tent forever!</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings!</span></p><div><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-39140840632740535892022-05-31T08:43:00.013-04:002022-05-31T22:53:47.138-04:0025 years<p><span style="font-family: Arial; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today is our 25th wedding anniversary and yesterday was our 26th engagment anniversary. Those are pretty big numbers. That also means that we have been a couple for 29 years this August. It’s hard to believe. We always acknowledge and celebrate our love for each other in a special way on or around our anniversary, but this number seems more significant than usual. Maybe because it’s ¼ of a century. It seems fitting to reflect on the time that has passed and on the Lord’s goodness to us. </span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-571b8994-7fff-b241-b5ef-a100cf08e75a"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Going back 25 years makes me want to cringe a little bit. I think that our 16 year old is more mature than we were when we got married. But when we smile and think about those 2 young kids, even though we dated for 4 years, we realize how little we really knew about each other, or even ourselves. Truthfully, we had no idea what we were getting into. I wonder what we would have thought if we could have seen even a tiny bit of the path that the Lord would put us on. Natually, there has been an ebb and flow with the seasons and there have been times of choice rather than feelings. But it's been beautiful. There have been lots of hard times and lots of pain -Not so much with our relationship, but with dark providences and circumstances. Through the painful times, our love has been seasoned and tried. Love grown in fire most often becomes strong and beautiful and it's something that we don't take for granted. My marriage is one of my most beautiful gifts from the Lord. I say that in a mature mind way. But also in a sweet, heart way. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On our walk on the beach after we went out for supper at our favorite restaurant, we talked about how beautiful and how thankful we are for our marriage and what the Lord has given to us in each other. We balance each other out in an amazing way. It comes down to God’s provision and His faithfulness. He has bound two imperfect, sinful individuals together and we continue on the journey of santification together and grow with and because of one another. The Lord knew from the beginning of time that we would be best for each other. I love the thought of that. Sometimes I laugh at the fact that out of this relationship came our 6 kids. When I was young, I was not a big family person and it turns out that I actually am in a big way. The joy I get from my 6, now 7 kids is incredible.I have never loved him or them more. The Lord is so kind. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So. We are not picture people. At all. I am more comfortable behind the camera. But before we went out for supper, we got Grace to take a few pictures of us. She clicked a lot of pictures and said eww in her mind a few times. Ken won’t let me post the gushy ones. We even took a picture of each other at the restaurant. That is not us at all. Like zero. I’m just going to put them here to commemorate this special day. (:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZq1pAlg1z3juBWBG7acw5SkcrDFXCNJHzhnOmAg1knbwgjrivvbyNgrxwvh7fSxHdk04jc6z8l6AwLc9dkSwLNInwp1tkmJM9C_OZdmldtD15SFlv2N3M4NkefEM7FkIwOPmNKngXpBTCyKXzsVSH8JJEC8RjEt8OH0mlqgBBhFhBHaNC-3NaMjUe/s888/Anniverary.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="888" data-original-width="828" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZq1pAlg1z3juBWBG7acw5SkcrDFXCNJHzhnOmAg1knbwgjrivvbyNgrxwvh7fSxHdk04jc6z8l6AwLc9dkSwLNInwp1tkmJM9C_OZdmldtD15SFlv2N3M4NkefEM7FkIwOPmNKngXpBTCyKXzsVSH8JJEC8RjEt8OH0mlqgBBhFhBHaNC-3NaMjUe/w373-h400/Anniverary.jpg" width="373" /></a></div><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_2Uc6oUpAFNif7AOcvAwXvP4qX_HfsAe1A368VgjZeoRK9jDLkUKzfeKnheXgbZ7s5TnOuHOckEcpz_atCaEB6Zik3oT9EZfFCTIUZctWInWKYR1CugzTgEpvisYxpsmM28aC-wCReturMMWN_cOEwPJoizMMWH5ZUdTXA0daLGCYl-M-Z9yLzEB/s912/279305254_1152619935302722_6318967842507409887_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="912" data-original-width="827" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_2Uc6oUpAFNif7AOcvAwXvP4qX_HfsAe1A368VgjZeoRK9jDLkUKzfeKnheXgbZ7s5TnOuHOckEcpz_atCaEB6Zik3oT9EZfFCTIUZctWInWKYR1CugzTgEpvisYxpsmM28aC-wCReturMMWN_cOEwPJoizMMWH5ZUdTXA0daLGCYl-M-Z9yLzEB/s320/279305254_1152619935302722_6318967842507409887_n.jpg" width="290" /></a></p><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="775" data-original-width="828" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaU7Q46h7qL-E1XTBxGKWbYGQkTMwgaJIaNj4RcN9qCfsitMMjkeGhfQbzZyKqF1Qzt8mCkU-sGmioO9BWCdVPC85QfBVRgre8BH_rZ_OJCFPk8PGWTmdCiOVCO9U0YE-9QmAdLXfCMNwzHSfb55T4pH-djuKKhLBbeHLJGECRFCIeoEpvxobBJKFp/s320/282686901_1001101010775819_2619087976510418090_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-72408236797222934972022-03-28T20:36:00.011-04:002022-03-29T08:01:23.029-04:00SixTessa is turning 6 tomorrow.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQpFBpVNnWxG1f9qJ3l7Xo6ScnewYP9myxSBAUb58esN_sRCRugHcHqfG_biIIIy4es-_eTCK-61DbSgolrRTxdHEkGn6jvqDIjHi8KZvMtonnFRB2AfhVKw12MwQxzK4rVb7Oe3zA6B3UJcNo1dEkDkYVAdTQoC72ms79UMabkHWeILNpdF9Qub6s/s1219/262172636_2641909349286528_2560722893038935380_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1219" data-original-width="828" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQpFBpVNnWxG1f9qJ3l7Xo6ScnewYP9myxSBAUb58esN_sRCRugHcHqfG_biIIIy4es-_eTCK-61DbSgolrRTxdHEkGn6jvqDIjHi8KZvMtonnFRB2AfhVKw12MwQxzK4rVb7Oe3zA6B3UJcNo1dEkDkYVAdTQoC72ms79UMabkHWeILNpdF9Qub6s/w271-h400/262172636_2641909349286528_2560722893038935380_n.jpg" width="271" /></a></div><p>She... </p><p>Is not looking forward to soccer because it's just not her. "Dad, I am not meant to be rough and tough. Ballet is me. I am meant to be kind, sweet and beautiful." </p><p>Sometimes struggles with being the youngest and watching her siblings get older and move on without her. "Mom, I have bad memories... Josh leaving. Micah leaving... (Silence. Then wistfully.) Nice boys. (Long Sigh.)" "Mom, when is Micah going to move back into our home forever. Where he belongs?" I said probably never. She wept and screamed his name. Her heart broke. There are advantages to being the youngest. But there is hard that comes with it. </p><p>Has mature thoughts and asks insightful questions. </p><p>Feels deeply and loves well. </p><p>Loves all things soft and cuddly. I'm included in this category. (:</p><p>Is sure that she shares more 'genetics' with me than with Ken. "Mom, we just have so much in common...."</p><p>Loves to swim (It clicked last week.)</p><p>Gets 'love tears' in her eyes when something moves her. </p><p>Thinks learning is boring. </p><p>Loves all things crafty and draws and colors up a storm everyday. </p><p>Whose love language is touch and giving (and getting). She loves any kind stuffies, big or little and cards. </p><p>Is proud to be Canadian and American. "I am both!"</p><p>Is still so tiny. She is barely 35lbs. Her feet are size 8 and she just graduated to size 5/6 clothes. She wore 4's for 2 years.</p><p>Has a tender heart that loves to do right even though she often struggles in the moment. The fight is there. </p><p>Is my most challenging in some ways. </p><p>Sleeps light and little.</p><p>Feels awe at beauty. When she sees something majestic like Niagara Falls, she says it makes her want to pray. </p><p>This girl. We all love her so much. She is a gift. Life would be very boring without her. We thank the Lord for who she is and pray that the Lord will continue to work in her life and use her for His purposes.</p>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-64259759775210231692022-02-16T21:27:00.002-05:002022-02-16T21:44:53.217-05:00<p>I am writing this post, not so much to update you. I don't think my injury is update worthy. Ha. Seriously. But I need to document all of my equipement to look back on someday. </p><p>It's been three weeks since my fall and I have made tremendous progress. I went from not being able to straighten my leg for 2 weeks, to being able to walk in the last week. I use crutches or a cain when I am tired, but I can walk very slowly on my own. There is some pain still and my body is exhausted, but it's healing pain. I drove 2 times this week out of necessity and it's quite excruciating. Sitting in the van is also very uncomfortable. The top of my leg is still super bruised. It makes me disappointed that I'm not ready for church yet. I need a couch to sit on if it's more than 15 minutes. But I am so thankful for my healing. I appreciate every step and the freedom I have to get up and get myself some water or help tidy up and make some of supper. It's given me a whole new perspective. </p><p>First Tessa. She is so sweet to me. She kisses me all day long and tells me often how much we have in common - Mom, we are basically twins. She tells me how proud she is of me as I recover. The first time I walked all the way across the room she screamed loudly with delight. She is so good for me. Tonight, she was needing a bedtime snack and decided that I need one too. She just wanted half a sandwich, so she made the other side for me. She was so super proud. She is the baby and only 5. It's not often that she does these things for herself. She's gotten a little bigger in the last few weeks. Just look at her face and her perfect sandwich. (: That look is her love look. Her sweetness melts me still. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgjLeAbpOHuiK2n7SddUDIeFW1NbIctUeYNdsBVeDsiZ2bhmhZUhdSRjEnKxT5ihy00cP5mDsUbWCoLRqk7yCBbi8jkWN6zhg63la4Vsc5gdUKMgcO7H9XpQK43Yx3985FYCtvMiNKRz5k6AvKA5AxZh9U9qgTOExt7y0CgOGDIa5-hOD-WbAhV-V7S=s894" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="894" data-original-width="827" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgjLeAbpOHuiK2n7SddUDIeFW1NbIctUeYNdsBVeDsiZ2bhmhZUhdSRjEnKxT5ihy00cP5mDsUbWCoLRqk7yCBbi8jkWN6zhg63la4Vsc5gdUKMgcO7H9XpQK43Yx3985FYCtvMiNKRz5k6AvKA5AxZh9U9qgTOExt7y0CgOGDIa5-hOD-WbAhV-V7S=w370-h400" width="370" /></a></div><br /><p><span style="font-size: large;"> </span>I have gone from this. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgtVHPUzPaV-bOytNIgvElEZu3j2umBaw3HsE6jfNpvJJxSJ10ki-VzX9YV9x_VoRySGPfzAew7HNmxmHEBx7ksKzPU6LWcJ6mmd9S7S-UUUXz1PrIPJbBllo6dY1chVkf35TB5WQ7gXoy3hnCuf8B1HAowxUHYxFkrjKRzgA1gUVGRjJbeIjjnJEz6=s890" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="890" data-original-width="828" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgtVHPUzPaV-bOytNIgvElEZu3j2umBaw3HsE6jfNpvJJxSJ10ki-VzX9YV9x_VoRySGPfzAew7HNmxmHEBx7ksKzPU6LWcJ6mmd9S7S-UUUXz1PrIPJbBllo6dY1chVkf35TB5WQ7gXoy3hnCuf8B1HAowxUHYxFkrjKRzgA1gUVGRjJbeIjjnJEz6=w373-h400" width="373" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">.To this</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large; text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiEpCAeFQVo6l-a_ptVHKFwZIcSVz4Fu06nPiH-r43aG0Tc3y9zS3mhXNeflLll52M0nvlPbfFbtDt1xGyQr-NmEfjhd1ho6j6C2zZvP-SJvTP8X08eimqQLr_DEH0HJXme-7AMgqsFiOPGKUc0QYbrJI3vkrmKSEaJxh94gdlqbyfXFdTRazUBJgid=s855" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="855" data-original-width="820" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiEpCAeFQVo6l-a_ptVHKFwZIcSVz4Fu06nPiH-r43aG0Tc3y9zS3mhXNeflLll52M0nvlPbfFbtDt1xGyQr-NmEfjhd1ho6j6C2zZvP-SJvTP8X08eimqQLr_DEH0HJXme-7AMgqsFiOPGKUc0QYbrJI3vkrmKSEaJxh94gdlqbyfXFdTRazUBJgid=w384-h400" width="384" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span> To these <span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh73NEwUjwbQGexOVYcQnIYzjrugWKHaz0i23HT2tZI63GElN5jJebss1KA0ejm63sIpfuJEmIkB-iqEO8AERt06LKv12TqTyqXTeDAel5FnsYVhwsVaaaurie5NehZz6q-PCFjFY9BGSMnq1S894dfjRZU0JYmAXfVrH9mAQ5EMOJOQFPoAFjAXYIr=s1707" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1707" data-original-width="827" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh73NEwUjwbQGexOVYcQnIYzjrugWKHaz0i23HT2tZI63GElN5jJebss1KA0ejm63sIpfuJEmIkB-iqEO8AERt06LKv12TqTyqXTeDAel5FnsYVhwsVaaaurie5NehZz6q-PCFjFY9BGSMnq1S894dfjRZU0JYmAXfVrH9mAQ5EMOJOQFPoAFjAXYIr=w194-h400" width="194" /></a></div><br /><p><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span>And this. <span style="font-size: large;"> </span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhfgh7fYYfyva-cltk2E1WlNWSQaWPSl_U5N6dbKsTIHLeCNJfsQ23DCGUM3GUertxyGJmQqbVMHEULypCf14aG8MdLHirfpwCqVCPrrbmWJYUrVhnyOExKXuSVvDgp5hMpNw7CH8bu6De7MVuJPjNubZgx8OmjcxcGsHNQx4f6OFRzy3xoBJymBQEI=s1610" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1610" data-original-width="827" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhfgh7fYYfyva-cltk2E1WlNWSQaWPSl_U5N6dbKsTIHLeCNJfsQ23DCGUM3GUertxyGJmQqbVMHEULypCf14aG8MdLHirfpwCqVCPrrbmWJYUrVhnyOExKXuSVvDgp5hMpNw7CH8bu6De7MVuJPjNubZgx8OmjcxcGsHNQx4f6OFRzy3xoBJymBQEI=w205-h400" width="205" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large; text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large; text-align: left;">I am so thankful!</span></div><p><u style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "Source Sans Pro", sans-serif; font-weight: 600;"><span style="font-size: large;">Psalm 104:31–35</span></u></p><div class="bible-reference-content" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "Source Sans Pro", sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="bible-reference-verse-text" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="resourcetext" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 12pt 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: "Source Sans Pro"; font-size: 1.575em; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">31 </span> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">May the glory of the </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lord</span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">endure forever;</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -16pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">may the </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lord</span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">rejoice in his works,</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><a data-datatype="bible+esv" data-reference="Psalm 104:32" rel="milestone" style="background: transparent; color: #fd544f; display: inline-block; height: 1em; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0px;"></a> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: "Source Sans Pro"; font-size: 1.575em; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">32 </span> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">who looks on the earth and it </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">trembles,</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -16pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">who </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">touches the mountains and they smoke!</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><a data-datatype="bible+esv" data-reference="Psalm 104:33" rel="milestone" style="background: transparent; color: #fd544f; display: inline-block; height: 1em; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0px;"></a> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: "Source Sans Pro"; font-size: 1.575em; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">33 </span> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I will sing to the </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lord</span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">as long as I live;</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -16pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I will sing praise to my God while I have being.</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><a data-datatype="bible+esv" data-reference="Psalm 104:34" rel="milestone" style="background: transparent; color: #fd544f; display: inline-block; height: 1em; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0px;"></a> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: "Source Sans Pro"; font-size: 1.575em; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">34 </span> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">May my </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">meditation be pleasing to him,</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -16pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for I rejoice in the </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lord</span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">.</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><a data-datatype="bible+esv" data-reference="Psalm 104:35" rel="milestone" style="background: transparent; color: #fd544f; display: inline-block; height: 1em; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0px;"></a> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: "Source Sans Pro"; font-size: 1.575em; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">35 </span> <span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Let </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">sinners be consumed from the earth,</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -16pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">and let the wicked be no more!</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Bless the </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lord</span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">, O my soul!</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Praise the </span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lord</span><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">!</span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 1.575em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></p><p class="lang-en" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48pt; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: -48pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></p></div></div></div>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-24567820576542731052022-02-09T20:49:00.005-05:002022-02-10T09:55:58.824-05:00I flew and it wasn't anywhere fun. I have been meaning to sit and write this post for a week. But out of necessity, my kids have been doing the majority of the work in the house and my computer charger got lost in the shuffle 10 days ago. I thought it would be around the corner every day. But it's wasn't. So I had to wait for one from amazon. (:<div><br /></div><div>But first!!!!! My sister in law Lynne came home today. She has been in the hospital for a few months with COVID. My tears haven't stopped all day. What a tender Father we have. I just don't have the words to express our thankfulness. The Lord has heard our prayers and we are so grateful and humbled by His goodness. </div><div><br /></div><div>Two weeks ago yesterday I fell. I didn't fall, I flew. It was a home morning for me. I didn't take care of Oma that morning, so we got school done pretty early. The door was locked and I had my pajajma dress on - with pockets. It was one of my favourite kind of mornings. Since we had so much time, the little girls and I decided to rearrange the livingroom. I love rearraging things. We have a big square livingroom with 2 separate sitting areas. I have changed it around so many times, but I always change it back. We finally got it to feel much cosier. :)</div><div><br /></div><div>Earlier in the day, I had put a piece of meat on the floor for our cat, Felix. He didn't eat it. It was off to the side, so I just left it. He would get it eventually. At some point, Tessa poured water on the meat. I noticed it, but didn't tell her to clean it up. I wear birks in the house. I love them, but they are so slippery. You must know where I am going with this. We were super pumped at the change in the livingroom. We were working hard, cleaning, tidying and vacauuming so we could sit in our new and improved livingroom with some satisfaction. I had my hands full with a bucket of water and assorted stuff that had to be put away and I went into the kitchen. With my hands full and walking super quickly, I stepped on the puddle of water and I flew. I didn't have a chance to catch myself. I got drenched. The water from the bucket went up my nose and in my mouth. My breath was taken away. You can laugh for a minute right here, but that's all. Ha! I kind of wish I had it on video. I'm not ready to laugh yet, but it must have been a sight. But I was also screaming; my right leg seized up. I couldn't soften my reaction or hold anything in. It was excruciating. That part was hard on the girls. I crawled to my bed and tried to find a postion that didn't hurt. If I kept it bent, I just cried, but didn't scream. I got Grace to get me a muscle relaxer and water and my phone. Ken was administering an exam, but I called the office and asked him to call me anyways. I didn't know if I needed an ambulance or if I just needed to lay there until he got home. I was in a daze of pain. </div><div><br /></div><div>I laid still for an hour and a half until Ken could get home. I could feel my muscles in my thigh and calf rolled into a ball and they were in spasm. If I moved my leg out of a 90 degree position, it felt like a red hot poker was being dragged through my leg. In the morning we were more able to assess. Nothing was broken. I could stretch it out if I was laying down, really slowly. So we assumed no tendons or ligaments were damaged. But I still couldn't straighten it unless I worked at it. I was getting concerned by Friday. A friend brought a knee scooter over and that allowed me to get out of the house to the hospital. All of my major ligaments and tendons were intact and an xray confirmed that there was nothing broken. He concluded that I have a tear in my thigh and calf. I was so thankful that I didn't need surgery and that things would just heal on it's own. I started physio and have gone 3 times already. I also have a massage therapist coming to my house to help release my muscles. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tessa was so concerned. She knew she put water on the floor. I thought not saying anything was the best route, but I was wrong. But she cried and was unsettled for days. She told me that this was the worst day ever for 3 days in a row. I felt awful for her. She finally asked me if I was going to punch whomever put water on the floor in the face. That startled me. I am not in the habit of punching anyone in the face. But it was her way of saying - How mad are you at the person who put water on the floor? I told her that I knew it was her and that I'm not angry. Mistakes happen. Her shoulders fell after that and she settled in a bit. She cared for me in a funny way. At first getting off the couch hurt like crazy. I would have to crawl to the stairs and down and get on my roley to go into the kitchen. I would hear her say - Oh boy. This is not going to be good. Everyone be quiet, Mom is crawling. It makes me laugh writing it. She is a funny and knows me so well. I prefer quiet when I'm hurting. </div><div><br /></div><div>The first week was tough. It felt a bit dark. I could only sit. I only crawled when I had to. The pain was intense even with the pain meds I got from the hospital. But going into the second week, my pain was less, I was stronger and had figured out how to do things without pain and with keeping my leg at a 90 degree angle at all times. At the end of last week things were starting to release and heal. I was stretching often and started practicing standing up at the counter and getting it so that my foot could sit flat on ground. On Monday, I started to be able to rock side to side and forward and backwards. There is pain, but not searing. Today is day 15 and I took at few steps holding onto a chair with one hand and my other hand held my roley. I cried and cried. It was such a relief. I have to strengthen my leg because it feels like it's half asleep all the time. My confidence is low because it feels like it's gong to buckle. I am still resting alot and take pain pills at night. I don't sleep super well at night, so I am going to back to bed about an hour after I get up to get a bit more sleep. I also nap in the afternoon. I am just so exhausted. But I do see the end now. That is so exciting. It's good for my brain to make some progress. </div><div><br /></div><div>This is very small in the big. No one is going to die. I am home and the rest of my body is functional. But it's been very big in the small. I have not been able to do anything really. I can't care for Oma. My family has to do everything. Ken has to do all the driving to appointments and get the kids to work. The kids are doing all the house stuff. We are all working together for cooking. I have taken for granted being mobile. But actually, walking, driving and working is a gift. Lots of days, I feel like I run around like a crazy person homeschooling, being a carer for Oma and taking of the house. Now I can't wait for a full, busy, active day. These few weeks have also made me more understanding of people who struggle with pain and mobility. </div><div><br /></div><div>So there is my story. I didn't fly anywhere fun, but I'm learning lots and I can see the end. (: </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-36974625265039781722022-01-10T19:36:00.015-05:002023-11-07T12:54:33.221-05:0020 years. A time of reflection.<p>We just had our first birthday of the year. I hope to write a post for each kid around their birthday. If I say it here, maybe it will happen. It gets a little dicey because we have 4 birthdays within 3 weeks in April. I will have to start now. (: They are all big ones this year - 6, 12, 16, 18, 20, 24. They are all such pretty, round numbers. I remember saying 10 years ago- Can you imagine when our kids are these numbers? And now we are here! Josh's number isn't as signficant as the others, but it is my favourite number and it's his first year as a married man. How special is that! </p><p>This past Friday Micah turned 20. I think that every birthday is special. Another year of life given is always a gift. But there is gravity in this birthday for us- Us as in Ken and I. Since Micah was little when we walked the hard with him, he doesn't remember everything. Ken and I can see it as a story and I think that his view is different from ours. It's more bits and pieces. There is beauty in him not remembering it all. It's part of the Lord's care for him. This birthday was intense for our hearts. It was good intense. There was lots of giving thanks, but there was also some hard remembering involved. If you don't know his story you can read it <a href="https://belindandken.blogspot.com/p/micahs-story.html">here</a>. </p><p>Micah is in his second year of university at Redeemer. He hopes to teach. This year is the first year that he is living on campus. That was a big change for our family. We were down 2 boys within a month. I always imagined that I would give my kids a hug, tell them to visit lots and would wave as they leave. We raise them to leave. That didn't happen. I cried. Sometimes I still have some tears. Both boys are in great places and it's all good. I am so thankful that they are both moving on and I do find it very exciting. But sometimes I still have my moments of missing them even though they are here often enough. They are great men. I am so thankful for both of them. </p><p>I wasn't planning a giant picture post. I was just planning a thank the Lord with us short post. But as I was looking for a few pictures to post, I discovered that there is a place that all my blog pictures are sitting. I just looked through at least 500 pictures and - Oh my heart. I laughed and cried. My people were so little and it tweaks my heart. I don't think I have ever loved and appreciated my kids more than I do now. They are some of my most favourite gifts from the Lord. I spent hours looking through pictures and picking these out. I have always wondered if I could do a birthday post for Micah without talking about cancer. But I don't think I can. It's part of his story. It's part of our story. It doesn't define Micah or Ken and I or the kids, but it has shaped all of us in one way or another. I don't wish it back and often wish it didn't happen. The pain was intense, but actually the beauty was just as intense. In His sovereignty, the Lord put it in our story for a reason - For his glory and purpose and for our good. He carried all of us.Taught us. And let us keep our Micah. The kids still have their brother and we still have our son. Every birthday I think about the fact that instead of making him chicken wings, I could be visiting him in his spot that is beside my Opa Van Dyk. We do move on. But we don't forget. Our path has reminded us about what is important and often moves us towards thankfulness. We are so thankful for Micah. For who he is. For how he loves and for the man he is becoming. He is a gift to us and we pray that the Lord will continue to shape him, guide and lead him. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">January 7, 2002. 12:30pm. Victoria Hospital. He is my only baby born at LHSC and ended up spending a few years there. I always found that interesting. I wish we had better cameras back then. We thought he looked like an Inuit. I think he was already mad that he was too hot here. It's the story of his life. (: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg6MvkjonN6cqdKNFEHet9W7vZDII0GhLb98BLTF1tDv0bp1ZtrsgN8dqBPt-17FFJxJh7Po_EXYn8KhwNRTX4b3WkQ6l1jFltgIb0r7gzsnIDIX2Gq9j7nMB3yzsyJd_vM2XnaRzfc62BBTySvpTHG3YMChiT7_ud32pENiQsvGD9Imar6cHpLBOC7=s1143" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1143" data-original-width="1022" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg6MvkjonN6cqdKNFEHet9W7vZDII0GhLb98BLTF1tDv0bp1ZtrsgN8dqBPt-17FFJxJh7Po_EXYn8KhwNRTX4b3WkQ6l1jFltgIb0r7gzsnIDIX2Gq9j7nMB3yzsyJd_vM2XnaRzfc62BBTySvpTHG3YMChiT7_ud32pENiQsvGD9Imar6cHpLBOC7=w572-h640" width="572" /></a></div><div><br /></div>The next 2 are so fuzzy. But they are how I remember Micah before he started treatment. This is my little runner. We lost him all the time. He was as sweet as he was crazy. There should be way more pictures between birth and 3 years old. But I don't think I took many. I was too tired from trying to keep him alive. It makes me laugh thinking about it. <div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjTrQtmqvEawZViMrpPH78pkom3h5qivYfj0CvZaF0gwmU3vIb61vGI4_JNmRKKwqGs9exW8wpBmJA-984qpgZ03b3GXItdEDT5-ek-HqMhlX5gu2JRkiabBbO5bCy9DAIweFxmsgBLvBgnDawzroUvVU0H10hsAE37kIRNzWQBxOBRhkOCyh1pGpSR=s880" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="880" data-original-width="832" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjTrQtmqvEawZViMrpPH78pkom3h5qivYfj0CvZaF0gwmU3vIb61vGI4_JNmRKKwqGs9exW8wpBmJA-984qpgZ03b3GXItdEDT5-ek-HqMhlX5gu2JRkiabBbO5bCy9DAIweFxmsgBLvBgnDawzroUvVU0H10hsAE37kIRNzWQBxOBRhkOCyh1pGpSR=w606-h640" width="606" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">This is 2007, 2 or 3 months before we found his cancer. </div></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhZO4M0mdsVFF2A8TWdyrnUprIqfc1QlvLXP_qlKlI7lXGQsam87CA6ik-_FY1Yr940RLtafSRqePs-HXrdUjWT5CJ_ws_0PxNpX1Jd1vzEZn3-mBTssmJIzKn8tdtHaIetPCC3MU4DeE7wvHCuqMu6rfummFMgL59HiVKVtGfOn3DDaGCkaPBXJMWC=s400" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="400" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhZO4M0mdsVFF2A8TWdyrnUprIqfc1QlvLXP_qlKlI7lXGQsam87CA6ik-_FY1Yr940RLtafSRqePs-HXrdUjWT5CJ_ws_0PxNpX1Jd1vzEZn3-mBTssmJIzKn8tdtHaIetPCC3MU4DeE7wvHCuqMu6rfummFMgL59HiVKVtGfOn3DDaGCkaPBXJMWC=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Our little people in 2008</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgmQkD8cGv_0yRJVIfWAJouGZXkheorWz-0SEvwf7FYMR1Tlrk7JfEw34c_llJxN--4x9JMvU0bFi4khg6vlkWp1P9tWSwV4jOWopMRdS3mrym2Msc8XcsVnbReOhPBNujBf0Ob1Pv6zqRNb52YJx9jiiypUDOvfKoysxbeSW0x2hS1DvaUqOqVmoJJ=s2200" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1696" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgmQkD8cGv_0yRJVIfWAJouGZXkheorWz-0SEvwf7FYMR1Tlrk7JfEw34c_llJxN--4x9JMvU0bFi4khg6vlkWp1P9tWSwV4jOWopMRdS3mrym2Msc8XcsVnbReOhPBNujBf0Ob1Pv6zqRNb52YJx9jiiypUDOvfKoysxbeSW0x2hS1DvaUqOqVmoJJ=w494-h640" width="494" /></a></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div>This is about 8 months into treatment. He was at his sickest here. He was doing radiation and chemo. He got shingles from the strain of his intense treatment. The study he was on intensified the amount of treatment he got and I believe it was helpful in saving his life the first time around. But it took a toll. He was on a morphine drip for a week in isolation. His eyes even changed color from the strain. This was when we hit our first wall as a family all at the same time. When we realized that it was shingles, we called our oncologist and she told us to come right in to be admitted. It was supposed to be our week off. Things had been so heavy and we were all so tired and just needed home and each other. I drove away with Ken, Josh, Natalie and Josiah crying on the driveway and Micah and I crying in the van. That was a hard day. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh9-oA8BnYDLgQDjCK0IidoM8xBCScOOIU4NRFo8TalG458hcGJea3U1Bya4xTfRWYjKI-qnMDQrqismBCQtnqJjAV34WG6Z_MiSDDVgkHlccEl8Dku69dLeFbQZrVRhEjd196vzHlApC-TT2j7bcMyvvTmdzVuonzevWG2cvfU9-SbgUYmnep0KvO_=s1600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh9-oA8BnYDLgQDjCK0IidoM8xBCScOOIU4NRFo8TalG458hcGJea3U1Bya4xTfRWYjKI-qnMDQrqismBCQtnqJjAV34WG6Z_MiSDDVgkHlccEl8Dku69dLeFbQZrVRhEjd196vzHlApC-TT2j7bcMyvvTmdzVuonzevWG2cvfU9-SbgUYmnep0KvO_=w480-h640" width="480" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Curious George stayed in between his legs for all 30 of his radiation treatments. He was a trooper and was so well behaved. They were able to time the shots to his liver to his breathing. If he couldn't have managed it, they wouldn't have been able to treat his liver. We were so thankful that they could. The box on his belly is the timer. In this picture he has full blown shingles. They didn't want to stop the radiation. His arms over his head must have been excruciating because the shingles when under his arm and down his back. I remember just being amazed at how the Lord upheld Micah. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEik3HJmwRPecjLUPtZezma1rS4CAbNdlLNRL7SoxffJFqjXnMRa3D_tDjsFLlfZ6hkpX1v-Q16g8MSmCzLervVToJ2SGLkwqPe5UJEbTQ04y6_SW6aYTZzJ3ExZ3Es0B6pKGQkcjc6z0M6xrSMI-JtFkPL7SFNMZc9hAzBgdJGINmeepNIamsisQuRq=s1600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEik3HJmwRPecjLUPtZezma1rS4CAbNdlLNRL7SoxffJFqjXnMRa3D_tDjsFLlfZ6hkpX1v-Q16g8MSmCzLervVToJ2SGLkwqPe5UJEbTQ04y6_SW6aYTZzJ3ExZ3Es0B6pKGQkcjc6z0M6xrSMI-JtFkPL7SFNMZc9hAzBgdJGINmeepNIamsisQuRq=w640-h480" width="640" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Barb, his case manager gave Micah a build a bear bear for a present on his last day of radiation. He was still on morphone here and was on it for a quite a while after we went home for nerve pain. You can see his radiation burn and his shingles (by his arm) that were healing in this picture. It always amazed me that he had such a sweet smile even after he had truly suffered through the last week. I still have these pajama pants. I threw them in the bucket for Siah to wear when he fit them. But the first time he put them on, I cried and cried. So I just put them away. I have the number shirt that he wore in one of the first pictures too. They just have too much wrapped into them to see someone else wearing them or to get rid of them. I think I am going to get them made into something for Micah someday. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEijSqJx7BSxUuw6KyikKxj0mY9gNh1oIQWl_UCT8STBlCa5FMObfXDps7br8DE9GZAIE-UN5YbCO0PAiZ1Unto6FXjae089lizaPdyMUIdVlg8bzz2P1v-7L9KH8m3dCH4HsCj2UzDOXJTXqdy2W_JePnpHYxMYNoUzmnOpN8w-PHh9SLsqEW-ueXwg=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEijSqJx7BSxUuw6KyikKxj0mY9gNh1oIQWl_UCT8STBlCa5FMObfXDps7br8DE9GZAIE-UN5YbCO0PAiZ1Unto6FXjae089lizaPdyMUIdVlg8bzz2P1v-7L9KH8m3dCH4HsCj2UzDOXJTXqdy2W_JePnpHYxMYNoUzmnOpN8w-PHh9SLsqEW-ueXwg=w480-h640" width="480" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>This was a little later. I only know that because I can see the scars from his shingles. He was all healed up. He was so much fun. He took a lot of tubs. I laughed when I saw this picture. We had to get in line for a bath and between each bather, we had to do a thorough clean of the tub. I remember this time, I washed everything down and went to get my little Micah and another family took the tub. Micah and I were like - What just happened? But we just laughed and waited. It's amazing what becomes small when you are dealing with big. We were heading into a time when his lungs started to take on water from radiation damage. This time was a bit of a reprieve. </div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgFyqSQAnlZAz0WGFbz3dSdoOtIayOrRFFMdK6QTgeEvkEWZb960cSly2NXquFVt7xyZLLzBq50HsKRcMbzvs6bVbATlS_o7BfYBKfVbMtD6mfvzfFFrWA9EyKP9pjcFnJXdGS7A5ez2YdQudi_yAByQhAL_IHAQqqg2PFCO4dMc6n9Siw0-SzvaPcZ=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1778" data-original-width="2048" height="556" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgFyqSQAnlZAz0WGFbz3dSdoOtIayOrRFFMdK6QTgeEvkEWZb960cSly2NXquFVt7xyZLLzBq50HsKRcMbzvs6bVbATlS_o7BfYBKfVbMtD6mfvzfFFrWA9EyKP9pjcFnJXdGS7A5ez2YdQudi_yAByQhAL_IHAQqqg2PFCO4dMc6n9Siw0-SzvaPcZ=w640-h556" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>The fantastic four hanging out while Micah was inpatient for treatment. He was in for 5 days every three weeks with out patient treatment the other weeks. This was a few months after Micah had water on the lungs. They put him on heavy steroids. It was a blessing in a way. In the picture above he was .5 of a pound away from a feeding tube. The steroids helped him avoid that. A feeding tube would have been very difficult for him mentally. I'm sad that his lungs are damaged from the radiaiton. But the Lord used the radiation as means for healing and life and the need for sterioids saved him from mental distress. So in the moment, they were both a blessing. He will have to live the rest of his life with a lung diesase that he got form the radiation, but the Lord knows Micah's future and He is always good. </div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjXkiD8j3kNNI5XGclicfLDAyDmg1HA2Ahs4PN88FPrOjGQR9UJAjryaUNmGJmJeTIQ4-b1L0LYbRyJdXA343YTU4S3mOdo4NOpa0Q-1IDn6UzXw8KkN4VtCftkhPWEncu4xxY8Ao9bqb4YRQF2bj1ysM7ZVIwUXii_VohcUPnl2qihTt0MqID1ab6n=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjXkiD8j3kNNI5XGclicfLDAyDmg1HA2Ahs4PN88FPrOjGQR9UJAjryaUNmGJmJeTIQ4-b1L0LYbRyJdXA343YTU4S3mOdo4NOpa0Q-1IDn6UzXw8KkN4VtCftkhPWEncu4xxY8Ao9bqb4YRQF2bj1ysM7ZVIwUXii_VohcUPnl2qihTt0MqID1ab6n=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>All done the first time in 2009. We were getting his port out. It was a day of celebration. I love this picture so much .Going into the OR this time was so much easier than when I went in for his first big tumor surgery. A kiss and a see you in a few hours was very different than wondering if he would come out alive. There was so much hope here, without a thought of recurrance in our mind. This is September. Little did we know that he would be back in 8-10 weeks getting his port put back in. We thought we had walked through the valley already for the last 18 months. But the Lord was just preparing us for something more difficult than we could even imagine. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj00D8LN_BUtoYFRQmAcUZLCplGo5Md3Y5xpAdPqYYS2ggoIcsLyOmY0OPCGe6KDy55VS9cvGaaejtvQUvRJ4lZN2fvLEb8yZ1eb6SS_X2QvM2PK79UnOzH-e7SbjEYfXfvFhk0BgGorKGqHpx9elhG0Y8YqfSmkr89vlGu1jvW9yClfgIMxyGfJo9R=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj00D8LN_BUtoYFRQmAcUZLCplGo5Md3Y5xpAdPqYYS2ggoIcsLyOmY0OPCGe6KDy55VS9cvGaaejtvQUvRJ4lZN2fvLEb8yZ1eb6SS_X2QvM2PK79UnOzH-e7SbjEYfXfvFhk0BgGorKGqHpx9elhG0Y8YqfSmkr89vlGu1jvW9yClfgIMxyGfJo9R=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">A few weeks after relapse we got our family pictures done. I was 11 weeks pregnant with Grace. We thought these might be our last family pictures while Micah was looking healthy. Looking at these next few makes me weep, but also makes me so thankful that they weren't the last ones. </span></div></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgBG9oJcm8hNnbFRKEktXL0fRFGekbpzl_2hwLzjqnLny-XfA3IgSsQkb6h-6TcDTp2VZSDsLO29XKm3xT7FYfol_45YaNyDk3xL01FW3s83sWfF4pXux4Ls_tOAeYVgyr8_qf2XaworLPYoDo_M_tiRzAgggA_XbqpaHugv40ESZUSB7xomsXzHqtm=s3600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3600" data-original-width="2400" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgBG9oJcm8hNnbFRKEktXL0fRFGekbpzl_2hwLzjqnLny-XfA3IgSsQkb6h-6TcDTp2VZSDsLO29XKm3xT7FYfol_45YaNyDk3xL01FW3s83sWfF4pXux4Ls_tOAeYVgyr8_qf2XaworLPYoDo_M_tiRzAgggA_XbqpaHugv40ESZUSB7xomsXzHqtm=w426-h640" width="426" /></a></div><div><br /> Natalie (6) and Micah (8)<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgClacRU60asE-6iKvx2f9w6OktXrQgyHUhTUBezXDihPNfSnR7BQaKf77QFW0_yQDkeZhFsdCBEIwOxrJrUJCrwUum7v7chZQDZ0AgSwKQ1Llt9u0vzkPKbp8JWUS17PJCOURQkHLIxZ81wckfAZIW1NUfxss5ygM_m1cFVp1Y4GlpsxrIhAOlJn-i=s3600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2400" data-original-width="3600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgClacRU60asE-6iKvx2f9w6OktXrQgyHUhTUBezXDihPNfSnR7BQaKf77QFW0_yQDkeZhFsdCBEIwOxrJrUJCrwUum7v7chZQDZ0AgSwKQ1Llt9u0vzkPKbp8JWUS17PJCOURQkHLIxZ81wckfAZIW1NUfxss5ygM_m1cFVp1Y4GlpsxrIhAOlJn-i=w640-h426" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div> Josh (12) and Micah<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjjzOBBkjDnsY0OE6xZ2Ic0zdmWH0AHbsvQLaq_Lg9jxaaRlmM8yc20skz7wXRpP0GkhFiycLM8YmZ6uHfGCDhw7qndYzRVcinWhDubAwZmg7F89SnV2hukByTff1SRM1QISCkehfsU46tlI3vISOv913h-Mii6_ImsqxpESnnoNUhJAnDa7RXK64V9=s2202" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1413" data-original-width="2202" height="410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjjzOBBkjDnsY0OE6xZ2Ic0zdmWH0AHbsvQLaq_Lg9jxaaRlmM8yc20skz7wXRpP0GkhFiycLM8YmZ6uHfGCDhw7qndYzRVcinWhDubAwZmg7F89SnV2hukByTff1SRM1QISCkehfsU46tlI3vISOv913h-Mii6_ImsqxpESnnoNUhJAnDa7RXK64V9=w640-h410" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> Josiah (4) and Micah</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgK-BFEdXilvvdHUe73ZlRjT_TKML3o-_7nWWJqPJtLNN2qb-Q-mOya7SiTN__qbBU008qP3WM0bKHE8v52aqXZyLmc9INEAA0OEog_eqInKl31mOqUpauithTnHMQKwAoi836kOjyNE3MRQQEPFTAliik1MVKCh4qA4Uh3IDJvYeI3O_bFX-siPjRy=s2403" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1858" data-original-width="2403" height="494" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgK-BFEdXilvvdHUe73ZlRjT_TKML3o-_7nWWJqPJtLNN2qb-Q-mOya7SiTN__qbBU008qP3WM0bKHE8v52aqXZyLmc9INEAA0OEog_eqInKl31mOqUpauithTnHMQKwAoi836kOjyNE3MRQQEPFTAliik1MVKCh4qA4Uh3IDJvYeI3O_bFX-siPjRy=w640-h494" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is the first day that his tubes were out from his big lung surgery in March 2010. It was the first time he sat up, had pants and a smile. These were his favourite ladies. Veronica, his art therapist. Barb, his case manager and his favourite nurse, Julie. Barb passed away while we were in Grand Rapids from cancer. I remermber her being uncharactistically distracted just before we moved and I knew something was up, I just couldnt' figure out what. We asked for months where she went, but she didn't want all of her hospital kids to know. She emailed me before she passed away and we were able to say some words. Her death broke my heart and still makes me tear up 7 years later as I write this. She was such a beautiful heart and she was 'my person' at the hospital and she genuinely loved Micah. She was doing her job taking care of us, but our relationship was forged in fire and was something very special. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Micah's pain for the first 5 days was off the charts. After an hour of being in his room, they moved his roommate out. They realized that this was going to be tough. The epidural wasn't working and they didn't get it working until the surgeon came in and bellowed - I promised Micah no pain, now make it happen!!! I appreciated his strong presence at that moment because I felt like I was going to lose my mind. Over the last years, I was Micah's soft place to land and his advocate and care giver and generally had always been quite measured and in control at the hospital. If I didn't feel in control, I would step out and go to the bathroom to scream and cry silently and then I would come back. But this was just too much for me to watch. I was feeling frantic. His lungs were working at separate times. Watching him breath made me hyperventalate. He had an oxygen mask by his head that he could hold to his face if he felt like he needed it. It became his security and he slept holding on to it. I still have that mask. He couldn't handle any visitors. His resting heart rate was exceptionally high for the first days as he battled the pain. The room was quiet and dark for about 5 days. Ken and I traded off in the morning and evening and just slipped in and out quietly, only getting reprieve from my parents a few times so we could walk together and see the kids at the same time for a bit. At this time, I was wondering if we had made the wrong decision. He was suffering more than I had ever seen. I hated that room. The first time through treatment, it was the room we all looked at from down the hall. We saw families leave their child in that room after they passed away. We watched nurses lean against the wall and cry after they lost a patient and we all quietly grieved with them. The mom's who were inpaitent with their kids would all exchnge glances. We felt for the families and the nurses, but there was also another element of grief. Would that be one us in the next months? So coming back to the hospital 9 months later and being put in that room was hard for me. The reason we were put in that room was practicality. We had a nurse sitting in for the first few days around the clock. The room was nice and big. We weren't at the end of life stage, but I struggled with what it had always represented in the past. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiBGCs9t_jKe_DxoIBSOu1XGEwBnBSkFYx_Q0oqOmTMnLOnpFHugvujKp-KCv6s6WrWonj9q-tT2ADMKeHZaEH2NY3cAhKh8etD9oRYZHx8okqoOqigyTt2SgAZ79FJlWOBSyWrZnOQbBnyq21nANMjXdBsQoDFXKG_O05aJy6eRHkZMaG8K2KaaAP8=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiBGCs9t_jKe_DxoIBSOu1XGEwBnBSkFYx_Q0oqOmTMnLOnpFHugvujKp-KCv6s6WrWonj9q-tT2ADMKeHZaEH2NY3cAhKh8etD9oRYZHx8okqoOqigyTt2SgAZ79FJlWOBSyWrZnOQbBnyq21nANMjXdBsQoDFXKG_O05aJy6eRHkZMaG8K2KaaAP8=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>This is one of my favourites. Our eyes are exactly the same color. This was 5 months after relapse. He was still recovering from his lung surgery. I was 36 weeks pregnant with Grace. My sister, Tori moved her wedding from September to May because we didn't know what September would look like. We expected that the cancer would be back by that time. So this is May 2010. It's now January 2022. Can you believe that he has been cancer free since? I can hardly comprehend it. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi84wP9Z1ejNq3qUz0p7TkY69BxfTLjF0GFahUGCbzpfxevBOwOLPVlUPstax5v-iRBiquRTyq7m9qhIM_opX8R3Vh7kA8Ca8CEOe1kocUdYbe9KvUyzOyS7Etdh54irliXAahco08WR6S4bAU7d8dEIxDWxollcmzYNJ4RvJbdFg6_LmZ1BoWyY3rH=s640" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi84wP9Z1ejNq3qUz0p7TkY69BxfTLjF0GFahUGCbzpfxevBOwOLPVlUPstax5v-iRBiquRTyq7m9qhIM_opX8R3Vh7kA8Ca8CEOe1kocUdYbe9KvUyzOyS7Etdh54irliXAahco08WR6S4bAU7d8dEIxDWxollcmzYNJ4RvJbdFg6_LmZ1BoWyY3rH=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Summer 2010. My boy back in his element. He was still recovering, but he was doing so well. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjKvtAqdOypvFop7miTHTO5nQr04yLTMrrtXdp0_HG3aaLSvviFX5dbXT6HiT7V4KYsjlKm5Au9TcUN2Muvmjsjuxu_McfQt1HPM18GVuAxEH0QK69rTWxoN3-PgDKPg0YTg1DgaBl1Wt2yeurkQjHd2rVXDfuhVQkKaRMITvuRmvfxYDoJvFcWt0Jf=s640" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="640" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjKvtAqdOypvFop7miTHTO5nQr04yLTMrrtXdp0_HG3aaLSvviFX5dbXT6HiT7V4KYsjlKm5Au9TcUN2Muvmjsjuxu_McfQt1HPM18GVuAxEH0QK69rTWxoN3-PgDKPg0YTg1DgaBl1Wt2yeurkQjHd2rVXDfuhVQkKaRMITvuRmvfxYDoJvFcWt0Jf=w640-h466" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Fall 2010. 8 years old. My beautiful boy looking so healthy</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUzCf6FRDeTlY9gfEBA_LPWewSPGHjaZYPxEmmebC2LuWbIA-zZWhC8ryHbuudybsLjx6AISCjeybnsbVg9MfIDV7ZLK8Prh_M8HiqMcpQqVhsD7-B_ujP-kFCh933arShPOQ7Oue5xOe1Bb7AWyRiy90Avbv9nOmq1uhVhLMRw6O0uwoaNxUuvU7z=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1362" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUzCf6FRDeTlY9gfEBA_LPWewSPGHjaZYPxEmmebC2LuWbIA-zZWhC8ryHbuudybsLjx6AISCjeybnsbVg9MfIDV7ZLK8Prh_M8HiqMcpQqVhsD7-B_ujP-kFCh933arShPOQ7Oue5xOe1Bb7AWyRiy90Avbv9nOmq1uhVhLMRw6O0uwoaNxUuvU7z=w640-h426" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">They left Micah's port in for a year and a half after his lung surgery. He finally got it out a month after we moved to Grand Rapids. We were at my parents here recovering for a day before we made the drive back. I love pictures of my boys together especially when they are silly.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhYcPjg_auRZslbi0R8ihxnq9q9u_qaNl551VL0oW_UTF_lxyJrd0wVP9-ZOaCgwAOXhKnXQlNtjeniPrhBHDGJ3OtJhgyqQKXQAcsEFNHAIxtw_3SkLZz6BP8CwYbVG14JuKAoqqTNEjGDO9NK14odthNCUi90zOmuf9bFGvpOCATtcXF_BD_B1Krz=s2592" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2592" data-original-width="1944" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhYcPjg_auRZslbi0R8ihxnq9q9u_qaNl551VL0oW_UTF_lxyJrd0wVP9-ZOaCgwAOXhKnXQlNtjeniPrhBHDGJ3OtJhgyqQKXQAcsEFNHAIxtw_3SkLZz6BP8CwYbVG14JuKAoqqTNEjGDO9NK14odthNCUi90zOmuf9bFGvpOCATtcXF_BD_B1Krz=w480-h640" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">July 4rth fireworks. One year we went 4 nights in a row to fireworks. The Americans sure know how to celebrate! (: Micah was really starting to get strong again here. I am thinking that this is July 2013. So he would have been 11. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiNGuS2_zohe3plGmnpBHOIujeIG2kp6qmqrmAfK72iatCYkPT22ieM1MdpSCxG5qWi7NOx5zFdzMRy338nkLjE1oDgydGFcKsmWokXvTH9Rlt735j6zVI48U4AVucML0LHumBOpuVGvDG2lUsajb9zfIvnNaAbvLjsp6Ik58s5zjWcFbZvIh5Itais=s1244" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="928" data-original-width="1244" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiNGuS2_zohe3plGmnpBHOIujeIG2kp6qmqrmAfK72iatCYkPT22ieM1MdpSCxG5qWi7NOx5zFdzMRy338nkLjE1oDgydGFcKsmWokXvTH9Rlt735j6zVI48U4AVucML0LHumBOpuVGvDG2lUsajb9zfIvnNaAbvLjsp6Ik58s5zjWcFbZvIh5Itais=w640-h478" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Micah's 12th birthday. I remember the feelings that my eyes are saying here. I was so thankful. 12 felt so big. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjNCqDBF6UJ0OR1AHotFKiQF8CuMnVZfCld_vV4UOss9mxAwXgwg34ZxhMcGFrgKRgKa_04CoXeJtcKfF89nCXwaxRitvXapZS9OUwRErOlefma_vsdCu-91B_pkOsP9iUrAzVHHX1ysnY2rRrniub5QbBOHE02pbnJ0lFQGgOatYlh6Ra3YFFG-tpe=s1296" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1036" data-original-width="1296" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjNCqDBF6UJ0OR1AHotFKiQF8CuMnVZfCld_vV4UOss9mxAwXgwg34ZxhMcGFrgKRgKa_04CoXeJtcKfF89nCXwaxRitvXapZS9OUwRErOlefma_vsdCu-91B_pkOsP9iUrAzVHHX1ysnY2rRrniub5QbBOHE02pbnJ0lFQGgOatYlh6Ra3YFFG-tpe=w640-h512" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">Little league was fantastic in the States. One year, Micah made the Little League All Star team. That was a pretty big deal. I think he still has this jersey. I look at those white pants and shutter. I hate white baseball pants. They are so hard to keep clean especially when they play on red clay dirty dirt. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEid825nUHx4di00NUeO9lhS7F8eLEMa37gYtxMtsUyVSOvbsZxGOPnPzGHtiomZh5c-MJZ_CMRPbUp-lzWoLwtIhY_LqK6npNNAS9g2eBdo_O30nfZrW7P1j1f0uywHdYukq2Co08xxXDJHV75sIyH2IuJICqeB0_1nmN8f8TJCoWQMKzgMGfI_yYhj=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEid825nUHx4di00NUeO9lhS7F8eLEMa37gYtxMtsUyVSOvbsZxGOPnPzGHtiomZh5c-MJZ_CMRPbUp-lzWoLwtIhY_LqK6npNNAS9g2eBdo_O30nfZrW7P1j1f0uywHdYukq2Co08xxXDJHV75sIyH2IuJICqeB0_1nmN8f8TJCoWQMKzgMGfI_yYhj=w480-h640" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhQoZOTqkCkDKsE982b86zlo7hyfI76FZY4vlp6ihmwRuy4YfhKa8MZhOi3OeeIQw0BNCI2IbrWdLzqs44ySINZqnN77YF4Vq0kjNVBVoa_q6AR16fOx5OGe8H3i7AE246DHopwx5YMxIUDjpohM2quq40biuOR3EwZhB4rr_OgSIXYQeeE8ejD9aSp=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhQoZOTqkCkDKsE982b86zlo7hyfI76FZY4vlp6ihmwRuy4YfhKa8MZhOi3OeeIQw0BNCI2IbrWdLzqs44ySINZqnN77YF4Vq0kjNVBVoa_q6AR16fOx5OGe8H3i7AE246DHopwx5YMxIUDjpohM2quq40biuOR3EwZhB4rr_OgSIXYQeeE8ejD9aSp=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>This is the summer of 2013. We played baseball everynight as a family behind our house on the school field. It's one of my favourite memories. There were lots of dirty feet and laughs. These were such good days. It's funny to think that Tessa wasn't even a thought at this point. </div></div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjaHx0vu0-KLg4wfZw8MLPog9R_QbBUWAYHlo9oJFMTgx5otwLT25RIiDgtot2KTFHTtBfDpllYJMaFhKYi7A_QtUIVhMKThbkQ-DHPDdGENVxOYUr3NXfbJsRfaOTVNfyoYH1gVo0z1WydDMN34ocdl5_Gpn4hbmvkmkkf5rOAXcUXVayGSAMmqx0T=s1867" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1388" data-original-width="1867" height="476" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjaHx0vu0-KLg4wfZw8MLPog9R_QbBUWAYHlo9oJFMTgx5otwLT25RIiDgtot2KTFHTtBfDpllYJMaFhKYi7A_QtUIVhMKThbkQ-DHPDdGENVxOYUr3NXfbJsRfaOTVNfyoYH1gVo0z1WydDMN34ocdl5_Gpn4hbmvkmkkf5rOAXcUXVayGSAMmqx0T=w640-h476" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ken did his internship in BC in 2015. The kids and I love the ocean. Micah was 13 here.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhuCQy8THcrju0GXHsJ3FyU7nUGhLzRNWzBhKUKngh_W4kVfhExuE4NDiScp9u0NOs8VDyq-UsSH-5uOSqpDh88f1oYxvBI9HBfWFfT3W_SqF6LepCJi35xscnlwGczxS74w96vvQ3MKJzhC2oAswoz_HY8R1WNe9dNxaGtn0hJ9PqYvGYoYcrdCW1N=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhuCQy8THcrju0GXHsJ3FyU7nUGhLzRNWzBhKUKngh_W4kVfhExuE4NDiScp9u0NOs8VDyq-UsSH-5uOSqpDh88f1oYxvBI9HBfWFfT3W_SqF6LepCJi35xscnlwGczxS74w96vvQ3MKJzhC2oAswoz_HY8R1WNe9dNxaGtn0hJ9PqYvGYoYcrdCW1N=w480-h640" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In Victoria BC. This was a special moment for us. We feel such a connection to Terry Fox. I think it's because he gave so much. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgoJP5rSsWawPCWoAlnX6RYAJzATvbIgrj4vrjemIxOIELpUSM0gbCvwTkNaX5Nem8VV8j0oGhkRq8xdlWuh4mfRicTE6wJaC98r15VT3t0peMUWZAIwm_JFE-bXsJ8rchTH6UTn3VHkYz2oyi6GN1eIhxxMd-SYCAiXtrl8yIxy9K0dm-iHIJCkavp=s1096" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1096" data-original-width="828" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgoJP5rSsWawPCWoAlnX6RYAJzATvbIgrj4vrjemIxOIELpUSM0gbCvwTkNaX5Nem8VV8j0oGhkRq8xdlWuh4mfRicTE6wJaC98r15VT3t0peMUWZAIwm_JFE-bXsJ8rchTH6UTn3VHkYz2oyi6GN1eIhxxMd-SYCAiXtrl8yIxy9K0dm-iHIJCkavp=w484-h640" width="484" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Micah is 15 here. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiaczUNfICwrrfM2fxX5CY90TSPKCQ-WXJfwTOzWQwcKs0BqMVOQNn4HO9GNopguzMkid7hkop4OVFAhbvrl3q-gapm37wOl-i3W-MwcA_1LIwBoFN1WI_eIzxh9hqBHF3X62lvoNAesTgVXHwGE5B7BptBdXi-UvGNPSGlVgCgX2hJXfomhfVMkyAQ=s828" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="621" data-original-width="828" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiaczUNfICwrrfM2fxX5CY90TSPKCQ-WXJfwTOzWQwcKs0BqMVOQNn4HO9GNopguzMkid7hkop4OVFAhbvrl3q-gapm37wOl-i3W-MwcA_1LIwBoFN1WI_eIzxh9hqBHF3X62lvoNAesTgVXHwGE5B7BptBdXi-UvGNPSGlVgCgX2hJXfomhfVMkyAQ=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Micah was 16 when he started umping. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgeLkbPGws5qgOe3w_m3YDEp8YRo8H519KgVjZv2bWiisxBeJXmjo2eDqC0SDCY-fLvYHCX32T8e0RrshPV5VGUnswrB15oT4qnoumZ0prTOa-ZeH5lOkd6dZCCi6KY2MEhetk5IcYu1NKm7EQ55so8lPxHtvyo4jqbUTB1x99WogTCfLKoD9oAbkEm=s1400" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="828" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgeLkbPGws5qgOe3w_m3YDEp8YRo8H519KgVjZv2bWiisxBeJXmjo2eDqC0SDCY-fLvYHCX32T8e0RrshPV5VGUnswrB15oT4qnoumZ0prTOa-ZeH5lOkd6dZCCi6KY2MEhetk5IcYu1NKm7EQ55so8lPxHtvyo4jqbUTB1x99WogTCfLKoD9oAbkEm=w378-h640" width="378" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I have been trying to figure out how old he is here and I have no idea. I was hoping for 17 or 18, but I don't think so. (:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjWO87wjuvjFOxlVXUhkOjxs4lFzhRAjDzT9BVTwHOQZWeDbs4cSYav85qgLKqh02PF1Dx5E2ti3XgxFQnhGxnGK_SFhb85iHGi37nEHXyEgC2xY2kYF_Gwm8zaPfC9OV5IDg7pEnC6-2miLutDwc27gq1a1fvEaX7t13kzRI-LsxchNvwCO5PVN5Ym=s960" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="869" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjWO87wjuvjFOxlVXUhkOjxs4lFzhRAjDzT9BVTwHOQZWeDbs4cSYav85qgLKqh02PF1Dx5E2ti3XgxFQnhGxnGK_SFhb85iHGi37nEHXyEgC2xY2kYF_Gwm8zaPfC9OV5IDg7pEnC6-2miLutDwc27gq1a1fvEaX7t13kzRI-LsxchNvwCO5PVN5Ym=w580-h640" width="580" /></a></div></div><br /></div><div>Ken, Micah and Siah went on a hike this past summer to raise money for POGO. They hiked the Giant in Thunder Bay. It was beautiful. But they sure exhausted when they got home. But they raised almost $7,000. Excuse Siah here, he was tired and he's not a fan of pictures and I don't think he was ready!</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjS1tH5qTkXWQBdkcTNQs8IKl1kXOHaylde9wzwqiCHQgvMdKec3Z2KVfRUrlipdAIO60yP-kN54NQKnO1X_Iev5v3jzZgGkUyRXvgmJusKJCBHkiQzJBll4Hog3gqY9WNAU7o2omLSeu-pByNVvlRl4REm7dmmBi3WZBa5OB9Py6pGb4Y_v9lcnSM4=s1104" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1104" data-original-width="828" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjS1tH5qTkXWQBdkcTNQs8IKl1kXOHaylde9wzwqiCHQgvMdKec3Z2KVfRUrlipdAIO60yP-kN54NQKnO1X_Iev5v3jzZgGkUyRXvgmJusKJCBHkiQzJBll4Hog3gqY9WNAU7o2omLSeu-pByNVvlRl4REm7dmmBi3WZBa5OB9Py6pGb4Y_v9lcnSM4=w480-h640" width="480" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Terry Fox in Thunder Bay.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi3FXKuP-6zSJxH-nVIwBNcn9JdsehIk0YX8HheMVTritLGQ5JoDAs8iTbKqpVxWqYl3XmDh4t73Bk_7eVSO3ctLKHS9oNjnHOTfkPU9G3aV8fxiA6AHUPngExeG1SDMX-P8yuQzEJeWhe1-AQ6LNlRSz5gNOZfve4w4QYfHkRVtfHOIH-1h-GYMZDX=s1522" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1522" data-original-width="827" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi3FXKuP-6zSJxH-nVIwBNcn9JdsehIk0YX8HheMVTritLGQ5JoDAs8iTbKqpVxWqYl3XmDh4t73Bk_7eVSO3ctLKHS9oNjnHOTfkPU9G3aV8fxiA6AHUPngExeG1SDMX-P8yuQzEJeWhe1-AQ6LNlRSz5gNOZfve4w4QYfHkRVtfHOIH-1h-GYMZDX=w348-h640" width="348" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />Micah this past summer. He was fishing with Elijah Bouma. This picture is pure joy to me. </div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhf2O0dtFY8laYp2gv2OYGQJ-hXRCQxzsgLoTfYzyBlEoCeY3QBF-_GQuelAXmrNj6bjWblgeGru0XxUSHnLcG10KLW4bbyVPq-MyAL53B2-unAZt1qQ-W6mWBgWsScpll9gVWvuk3FAs8aYO_UHC23jFs4znlXSIwb-tGsXuYig1J8L1fIhWA16hGf=s761" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="761" data-original-width="749" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhf2O0dtFY8laYp2gv2OYGQJ-hXRCQxzsgLoTfYzyBlEoCeY3QBF-_GQuelAXmrNj6bjWblgeGru0XxUSHnLcG10KLW4bbyVPq-MyAL53B2-unAZt1qQ-W6mWBgWsScpll9gVWvuk3FAs8aYO_UHC23jFs4znlXSIwb-tGsXuYig1J8L1fIhWA16hGf=w630-h640" width="630" /></a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">The God who looks at the mountains and they shake is the One who has cared for Micah and for each one of His days. We trust Him and praise Him. Our heavenly Father is faithful and steadfast! </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 20px; min-width: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="text Ps-100-1" id="en-ESV-15510"><span style="font-size: small;"> His Steadfast Love Endures Forever</span></span></h3><h4 class="psalm-title" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 1em; min-width: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="text Ps-100-1"> A Psalm for giving thanks. Psalm 100</span></h4><div class="poetry" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 1em; min-width: 0px; padding-left: 2.6em; position: relative; text-align: start;"><p class="line" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 2.4rem; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 0px;"><span class="chapter-3"><span class="text Ps-100-1" style="position: relative;"><span class="chapternum" style="bottom: -0.1em; display: inline; font-weight: 700; left: -2em; line-height: 0.8em; position: absolute; text-align: center;"><br /></span></span></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="chapter-3"><span class="text Ps-100-1" style="position: relative;">Make a joyful noise to the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">Lord</span>, all the earth!</span></span></div><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-100-2" id="en-ESV-15511" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-weight: 700; left: -4.4em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; text-align: center; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"> </span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span face="system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial">Serve the </span><span class="small-caps" face="system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial" style="font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">Lord</span><span face="system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial"> with gladness!</span></div></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-100-2" style="position: relative;">Come into his presence with singing!</span></div></span><p></p></div><div class="poetry top-1" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 1em; min-width: 0px; padding-left: 2.6em; position: relative; text-align: start;"><p class="line" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 2.4rem; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 0px;"><span class="text Ps-100-3" id="en-ESV-15512" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-weight: 700; left: -4.4em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; text-align: center; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"> </span></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="text Ps-100-3" id="en-ESV-15512" style="position: relative;">Know that the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">Lord</span>, he is God!</span></div><span class="indent-1"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-100-3" style="position: relative;">It is he who made us, and we are his;</span></div></span><span class="indent-1"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-100-3" style="position: relative;">we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.</span></div></span><p></p></div><div class="poetry top-1" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 1em; min-width: 0px; padding-left: 2.6em; position: relative; text-align: start;"><p class="line" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 2.4rem; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 0px;"><span class="text Ps-100-4" id="en-ESV-15513" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-weight: 700; left: -4.4em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; text-align: center; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"> </span></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="text Ps-100-4" id="en-ESV-15513" style="position: relative;">Enter his gates with thanksgiving,</span></div><span class="indent-1"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-100-4" style="position: relative;">and his courts with praise!</span></div></span><span class="indent-1"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-100-4" style="position: relative;">Give thanks to him; bless his name!</span></div></span><p></p></div><div class="poetry top-1" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 1em; min-width: 0px; padding-left: 2.6em; position: relative; text-align: start;"><p class="line" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 2.4rem; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 0px;"><span class="text Ps-100-5" id="en-ESV-15514" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-weight: 700; left: -4.4em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; text-align: center; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"> </span></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="text Ps-100-5" id="en-ESV-15514" style="position: relative;"> For the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">Lord</span> is good;</span></div><span class="indent-1"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-100-5" style="position: relative;">his steadfast love endures forever,</span></div></span><span class="indent-1"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-100-5" style="position: relative;">and his faithfulness to all generations.</span></div></span><p></p></div></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p><br /></p><p> </p><p><br /></p></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-7678816768637135352021-12-13T12:35:00.007-05:002021-12-13T15:02:54.150-05:00Number 6 <p>I seem to be constantly writing posts about Tessa in my mind. The things she says and does often make me smile. She is sweet, soft and funny and a little bit of crazy and quirky all balled into one. Ken says that she is so like me and I love that. I regret not writing down the things she has said in the last while. Now that I'm here, I don't have the words. </p><p>The thing I love most about her is how much she loves me. Even if I leave for 10 minutes, she runs to me when I get home and hugs my leg and tells me how much she missed me and how much she loves me. She tells me multiple times a day that she loves me soooooooooooo much!!!!! Often when she tells me, she will kiss my leg. </p><p>The picture below was taken on a Saturday afternoon a few months ago. The sun was shining and it was chilly. We grabbed my pillow and a warm blanket, put some music on and had a nap on the trampoline. I woke up because she had one hand on my face and the other on my throat. haha. But it's beautiful. Since the first day she was born, she would touch my face when she sleeps with me. There is sweetness in that, but I remember that when she was little, I would be so touched out that I wanted to run away to get some space. There is such thing as too much of a good thing. (: She told me the other day that she would move to Pluto with me if I wanted to go. Sometimes we ask - If you could be an animal, which one would you be? If her and I pick different animals, after a few minutes she will switch to mine. In no imaginary sphere can we be different species because it would mean that we wouldn't be together. (: She loves me when we are together, but still does very well on her own. I'm thankful for this. Being so loved is a gift to me. As I write this, I hear her saying to Ken in the livingroom- I love my whole family. But I love you and mom the best. You are my parents and you are the best. You help keep me safe from strangers..... She's a funny girl. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjTG7P3LEx1gc3wW4qodt1OFmKVAqj3xAlP94QGpH6zRijseb1vJbb9QX3uU4Bt2FgjMIn6tAL4nYryalhveq-owdqQE-VXwmbixh1w7vERSH4-sxd5t3WBJKjgOBVBaBvJ7mnEqJkbScLEo2At6vESgSJvQva_4R0-B7TOrHOLgE4-L3eE6vYtda25=s828" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="622" data-original-width="828" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjTG7P3LEx1gc3wW4qodt1OFmKVAqj3xAlP94QGpH6zRijseb1vJbb9QX3uU4Bt2FgjMIn6tAL4nYryalhveq-owdqQE-VXwmbixh1w7vERSH4-sxd5t3WBJKjgOBVBaBvJ7mnEqJkbScLEo2At6vESgSJvQva_4R0-B7TOrHOLgE4-L3eE6vYtda25=w400-h300" width="400" /></a></div><p>I love her shoes. I am working on buying every size of these shoes used. They suit her personality and she feels good in them. We were getting ready to go to the doc to get her chin looked at here. She smashed her chin on the floor at church a few weeks ago. It was huge and weird. She loves going to the doc and loves getting x-rays even more. She does it like a champ. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEir6CBo_9A7qP2fDqoUat-6pJb3hLmpXZF4ItJP77CUBuPfgNEeaCWkoElvrjHGcKAOQrdI3kL5U8jVmutSuo_nKLiK61XJQ8286G43vkutJBTx5BFihVBZXkruhNTnjcn5lxzN-Z-Fy9A8GHRvCfqVpP0pQfaz-5vb8gFW0ifAh5qHZfnDamJuvlSI=s1121" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1121" data-original-width="827" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEir6CBo_9A7qP2fDqoUat-6pJb3hLmpXZF4ItJP77CUBuPfgNEeaCWkoElvrjHGcKAOQrdI3kL5U8jVmutSuo_nKLiK61XJQ8286G43vkutJBTx5BFihVBZXkruhNTnjcn5lxzN-Z-Fy9A8GHRvCfqVpP0pQfaz-5vb8gFW0ifAh5qHZfnDamJuvlSI=w472-h640" width="472" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Tessa Jayne Pennings is not a fan of clothes. She likes to wrap herself in this pink blanket or wear one of Natalie's old fuzzy grey sweaters. It covers her whole body. She sleeps in it. Since only Tessa, Grace and I are home through the day, I sometimes let her wear her fuzzy sweater or allow her to take off her clothes in the afternoon and wrap herself in her blanket. If she could live in her underwear, she would. She is all Van Dyk in most areas, but especially this one. </span></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiA1wkkEKXzTlXKCu4L4s3Q0u6EALSC-kHOnRLP7LDDCiTK54lPuVGmMpAdKztMPRSLuknpF_0bZrAOoXK6bTOwcOk1pFllFdN_PbM5728sR0_Hs-3n4-SRULFU_MEoEglk_R_aL3yDSOY20MvGM023LJ9BRCgemWhG4qmdfRslehrBf900eSuXev63=s1219" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1219" data-original-width="828" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiA1wkkEKXzTlXKCu4L4s3Q0u6EALSC-kHOnRLP7LDDCiTK54lPuVGmMpAdKztMPRSLuknpF_0bZrAOoXK6bTOwcOk1pFllFdN_PbM5728sR0_Hs-3n4-SRULFU_MEoEglk_R_aL3yDSOY20MvGM023LJ9BRCgemWhG4qmdfRslehrBf900eSuXev63=w434-h640" width="434" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">She also has trouble sleeping in her bed all night. So sometimes in the early morning, she takes her blanket, pillow, sweater and Micah's big stuffy dog and she crawls into a hole that we have in the living room in between our couches and bookcase. She is a funny bunny. A month ago on a Sunday morning was one of the first times she did this. I couldn't find her anywhere that morning. I was pretty calm at first. I looked in every bed and every room in the house. My mind was telling me that she had to be here somewhere. I was tired and my body was already running pretty high anxiety wise and realizing that I couldn't find her made my adrenaline spike. I started crying ugly tears. Ken found her in the hole under a big blue blanket. So now I know where to look for her. (: I'm fine with the hole. She has figured out a way to sleep in the early mornings and it doesn't involve my bed. I have done my years with her. ha. This is her this morning. It was dark when I took this picture, so it's a bit off. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjwcwfDYFQxFxStZLhHDynWzRth_n9E5IFMk7-ND1knfJXA6SecOfFIxEHCbL-I5a8BzokO0V8DDH4s8U7E-Fb-D0GfwyktoFWQmWjQNJOAyUrHDuUwgAGkt10t_aRQlczzwNNvbEvZ3o92xJCNlWpM_HRnymY1S_cI0OSwXPPohS2JsSBtMsjH_Pix=s882" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="882" data-original-width="828" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjwcwfDYFQxFxStZLhHDynWzRth_n9E5IFMk7-ND1knfJXA6SecOfFIxEHCbL-I5a8BzokO0V8DDH4s8U7E-Fb-D0GfwyktoFWQmWjQNJOAyUrHDuUwgAGkt10t_aRQlczzwNNvbEvZ3o92xJCNlWpM_HRnymY1S_cI0OSwXPPohS2JsSBtMsjH_Pix=w600-h640" width="600" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Tessa loves animals and babies. She ooh's and ahh's and squeals over anything that can be cuddled. Her little heart bursts with joy. We have 3 cats and now Natalie got a guinea pig-Senor Piggy. I have been slow to buy Christmas presents this year. I Have. Not. Bought. One. Eeek. She just asked me to scratch her whole list and buy her a guninea pig. If anyone has a large cage to fit 2 or 3 piggies, let me know, I'm in the market. lol. She loves watching animals videos. The other day, we saw a mom monkey holding her baby on a pole in the middle of the water, with crocs underneath. Tessa wailed when she saw that. There was no way that mom was going to be able to keep her or her baby safe. If we talk about it she still gets tears in her eyes. She is so tender and I will need to be more careful with what nature we watch. Reality is good, but thats a bit too much reality for her heart. </span></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEia2kGofOi3iaYIK5DxJ8ikGRQDsrSwyhpWSIEXCpRnAwdvOrM7uWoBVXn5CNgQm74tclwnhKoiBWtPOeYH7RC2_47PpIw4gEkhlRbpUwRTrl0AWpDAzq8ZL7wxra-IlqKtK2puOo5xL_e6DwyDV_cdrgsoPkEa1gCM-3Gryt8rGIoXkPgiKcL-CJ5Y=s1419" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1419" data-original-width="828" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEia2kGofOi3iaYIK5DxJ8ikGRQDsrSwyhpWSIEXCpRnAwdvOrM7uWoBVXn5CNgQm74tclwnhKoiBWtPOeYH7RC2_47PpIw4gEkhlRbpUwRTrl0AWpDAzq8ZL7wxra-IlqKtK2puOo5xL_e6DwyDV_cdrgsoPkEa1gCM-3Gryt8rGIoXkPgiKcL-CJ5Y=w374-h640" width="374" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Tessa values her family. She didn't spend a lot of time with Josh and Micah, but she still felt a loss when the boys left in September and October. Micah went off to Redemmer for his second year and Josh got married in October. The first time Micah came home, Josh was still here and she said - That's better. This is how it's supposed to be. Now when Micah comes home, she asks where Josh is. Being with the orginal 8 and now with Riley to make it 9, is the ultimate for her. There are advantages to the boys being gone. She moved out of our closet. Haha. That's a big deal. She has lived in our 9 by 8 closet since she was a baby. It has no window, but it was plenty big and it wasn't actually in our room. We shared a main door, but to go to the closet is straight through and to go into our acutal room you turn right. So it worked. But it's wasn't ideal. So she really benefitted from the space of 2 less men in our home. But she would pick having them here if she could choose. They are her men.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitqXtWxbFw7ar7npcg5tEZ1QPF_qNWnKksRNxjxBgwLCjYLViPqejEOJIGAB3A2KHEJ_QWOwP9sMhcpvjCyguYFVcMKJKuAwB3fZBDdc2bHhvLelC27IvJ6hEbbY7cXnEEbhTAMF_hUqluzx-f-N7OHrc8fG12-CglyQDaGGvLfU8wMyQ466-HSmMz=s917" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="917" data-original-width="750" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitqXtWxbFw7ar7npcg5tEZ1QPF_qNWnKksRNxjxBgwLCjYLViPqejEOJIGAB3A2KHEJ_QWOwP9sMhcpvjCyguYFVcMKJKuAwB3fZBDdc2bHhvLelC27IvJ6hEbbY7cXnEEbhTAMF_hUqluzx-f-N7OHrc8fG12-CglyQDaGGvLfU8wMyQ466-HSmMz=w524-h640" width="524" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Josh's wedidng was Tessa's dream come true. Her dress was perfect. Her shoes were perfect. She was so well behaved. She asked me what her job was the day before. I told her it was to listen to directions for pictures and to do what ever people told her to do, to not spill on her dress and enjoy herself. She said: I will make this the best wedding ever!!! Ha. She told the hairdresser that she better go quicker with her hair because she didn't want to miss the wedding. She did a great job. My only regret was her hair. It was a little longer than normal and we got it curled and it all fell before pictrures were done. I should have cut it and worked with her natural curls. Her hair makes her not look like her. She was cute, but just different.(: She felt like a princess and she was in her element. It was so fun. I need to do a wedding post. It was one of the best days of my life. Seriously. It was so special. There are no words to describe what it's like to watch one of your kids get married. </span></div><div><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgP3VEYoe-oe-zvg5G1rRQRpd3p-j4z0jrCl4v3cWcFLaL9wf9A3MxJ0KgiutilPYjq8IXL2aHX49GrdBfW5s0ywaUC980_4OjrWqUqR-JaiiprylDYktMxOLQiWCgJKJB_Po7kJ02lOCWN-RPm9zXJB1Z3DnPDkgu5VWB16VkY4PSkd2IXk0kl-pS1=s558" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="558" data-original-width="391" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgP3VEYoe-oe-zvg5G1rRQRpd3p-j4z0jrCl4v3cWcFLaL9wf9A3MxJ0KgiutilPYjq8IXL2aHX49GrdBfW5s0ywaUC980_4OjrWqUqR-JaiiprylDYktMxOLQiWCgJKJB_Po7kJ02lOCWN-RPm9zXJB1Z3DnPDkgu5VWB16VkY4PSkd2IXk0kl-pS1=w448-h640" width="448" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Her zest for life is so special to me especially in this harder season (for me). I need it. Everything is so wonderful and exciting to her. I'm so thankful to have my 2 girls home yet. Homeschooling is such a gift in so many ways. I just started to write all of the reasons and beauty, but I think that is a separate post! (: </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEieFvJNGL5bV0fDNaLfVBQH9vy43IhU71l0OwF45U5H_w21z5QECCEpVPlWRqWMB_JpApJJIR5-Uoj56yY1zdAJ-LA0RcXGC_fD7HUrEn6wFOm4Bjb6QePUlQ6u9uHaq1UuoDLYY6EFT1e3V1rHUcc3iRYC9CGEcs4df5-2FWHK24aKQC81XiT6RW8s=s1296" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1296" data-original-width="828" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEieFvJNGL5bV0fDNaLfVBQH9vy43IhU71l0OwF45U5H_w21z5QECCEpVPlWRqWMB_JpApJJIR5-Uoj56yY1zdAJ-LA0RcXGC_fD7HUrEn6wFOm4Bjb6QePUlQ6u9uHaq1UuoDLYY6EFT1e3V1rHUcc3iRYC9CGEcs4df5-2FWHK24aKQC81XiT6RW8s=w408-h640" width="408" /></a></div><div><br /></div>Tessa is always ready for adventure. I just laughed outloud looking at this picture. She is very excited for sledding. She declared herself ready when she found this in the hats and mitts bucket. I can just picture her flying down the hills with the big kids. <div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvjqLxUHMuuUdTJ0E1z_Twh0EoBc0ps9-a5U-WRaCMFKlRfl8LEqA_u1zlDpfB2k1mSXWaAr4h3CjuztOCm6VsFNNxf1b2USl1z_xDCEX6-erF3EFdVkhXXM1ng_zNfvE45TPc1FNa9gnGt6SCV_zosd9YZRP40XX1-61-vVTsmIz_ZTJ4-SCrLi-M=s1792" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1792" data-original-width="815" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvjqLxUHMuuUdTJ0E1z_Twh0EoBc0ps9-a5U-WRaCMFKlRfl8LEqA_u1zlDpfB2k1mSXWaAr4h3CjuztOCm6VsFNNxf1b2USl1z_xDCEX6-erF3EFdVkhXXM1ng_zNfvE45TPc1FNa9gnGt6SCV_zosd9YZRP40XX1-61-vVTsmIz_ZTJ4-SCrLi-M=w292-h640" width="292" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The plan for this post was to write a series of her funny sayings, but my mind has drawn a blank. I think I like this better. It will help me remember my Tessi and share with you my love for her. (:</div><br /></div>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-62694294862227396882021-10-19T08:20:00.017-04:002021-11-09T07:55:16.117-05:00Sovereignty with Certainty <p>I came across a quote on facebook this morning in my memories and it's one of my favourites. I was going to just share it again, but I started writing and it got too long and felt a bit too personal. By putting it in a post, you have to click into my life to read it and somehow that feels better to me. </p><p>Sometimes when we are hurt by people, it's harder to see God's sovereignty. All you can see are those people, the hurt and the wreckage that was left behind. It can leave you stuck, without perspective and holding a ball of yarn. All mixed up in the yarn is confusion, feelings of inadequacy, hurt, questions, disappointment (etc) AND the knowledge that God is always good and that His path is always the right one. It can be hard to reconcile those two sides. Sometimes it can take years for you to find the end of the string to start untangling. In the mean time, you can feel like you are just standing there frozen, holding your yarn while life goes on without you. But as much as you want to untangle and let go, it's too scary. In your mind, letting go could invalidate your wreckage and that doesn't feel right. But putting God, man and hurt in it's proper place is always wise. It's hard and exhausting, but there is so much beauty and blessing in the process. </p><p>This quote by Benjamin Warfield reminds us that despite people, despite any hard circumstances present or past, we can fall back on God's wise and kind sovereignty with certainty. He is reigning on His throne and He will make all things right in His time. This was such a beautiful reminder on my road to healing and as I go through the process of untangling and releasing to the Lord.</p><p><i>"In the infinate wisdom of the Lord of all the earth, each event falls with exact precision into it's proper place, in the unfolding of His eternal plan. Nothing, however small, however strange, occurs without His ordering or without its peculiar fitness in the working out of His purpose. And the end of all shall be the manifestation of His glory and the accumulation of His praise." </i></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-43304210638945064882021-08-22T18:39:00.037-04:002021-08-23T11:41:55.442-04:00Broken <p>November 27, 2020. We got a call from Micah at about 10pm telling us that the van he was in (not ours) was in the middle of the road and that they would need a tow truck. By our conversation, I got that the van broke down. The three younger kids were sleeping. Ken had just put some croquettes from our VMS friends in the oven for a snack and we were just hanging out together. I took the car and Ken took the van, anticipating that Ken would wait with the boys for a tow truck and I would bring Natalie and her friend back to our house. Just after I turned onto Sunset, Micah called me and told me to not be upset when I got there because they had to call it in and there were emergency vehicles with them. They were all ok. It's all ok. He was kind to warn me. But I actually wasn't prepared. </p><p>I drove down Sparta Line past the golf course, rounded a few bends, and stopped at the top of the hill. I had just driven through the dark of the back roads and all of the sudden the darkness was filled with flashing lights from ambulances, police cars and fire trucks. There was a police car, ambulance and firetruck at the top of the hill and a set of the three at the bottom of the hill. I walked past a fire truck and police car to Natalie, who was in the ambulance. She seemed ok, but they were monitoring her and she had a neck brace on. I hugged Nat's friend and made sure the boys were ok. After I talked to the kids, I breathed a little easier. Ken arrived just after me and was talking to a policeman. Natalie's friend got into the ambulance with her at the top of the hill to be checked over and the boys went to the ambulance at the bottom of the hill. Ken and I left the girls to check on the boys. As we walked to the bottom of the hill, we had to pass the van. It was in the middle of everything and it was a little darker and very quiet there. As we walked up to it, our breath was taken away. The windows were broken out and the air bags were blowing out the windows in the wind. It shocked us and made us realize just how bad it could have been. Ken and I hugged and thanked the Lord for sparing the 4 kids. I cried for about 10 seconds and walked on to the ambulance. The driver was checked out and released, but Micah had to stay in. His heart rate went up to 250. That is an unbelievable number. He explained to them before they took his heart rate that the wiring in his heart is a bit messed up from treatment and that we had just recently found out that one his heart valves is leaking and has thickened and every once in a while his heart rate misbehaves and at this moment - He is having an episode. He told them not to worry and that it should calm down on its own. It always does at home. Because of Micah's history and personality, he takes things pretty calmly. The ambulance people were not as calm and 250 is beyond anything that we have ever seen. They wanted him to lay down in case something happened and they needed to work on him, but my boy told them he would be ok sitting in the seat. He didn't want to make a fuss. It kind of makes me laugh and cry at the same time, but I told him to listen next time. </p><p>Ken was going to stay with the driver because he is from Woodstock and it would be a bit before his parents could get there. He is a sweet guy and was very shaken. I was going to follow the 2 girls and Micah to the hospital, so I ran back up the hill, jumped in the car and started towards the hospital. 5 minutes down the road, I started to cry. Then I started to hyperventilate and then I started to scream uncontrollably. It's like I broke. This isn't the first trauma that I have been through, but I have never had this bodily reaction before. I was trying to tell myself that the 4 kids were all ok. If something happened to Micah's heart, he was in the right place. The Lord has this. But no matter how much I tried to talk/pray myself out of it, I couldn't stop. I texted a friend because I was thinking that she would have to come get me on the side of the road. With the Lord's help, I quieted and was able to drive again. It was always my worst nightmare to drive behind an ambulance with Micah in it when he had cancer. Now I had 2 kids in 2 difference ambulances and I think it was just too much for me to process. </p><p>I was very calm by the time that I got to the hospital. The Lord was there. In my mind, I had stuff to do and kids to take care of. It always feels better to be doing something and in some way, the hospital is a comfortable place for me. Even though Nat and Car are minors, they wouldn't let me in. I wasn't super happy about that. They were both shaken and could use a hug and someone near. They were gracious enough to let me sit in a waiting area that is just inside the door, instead of making me sit in the car. Since the girls were in the middle of the van with no seatbelt, and the van rolled at least 2 times, they had to be checked over thoroughly with ultrsounds and x-rays. Even though Micah had his seatbelt on, they checked him for internal bleeding too. They looked at his history, hooked him up to heart monitors and did blood work. His heart calmed down on it's own and didn't need any help. The doc called me while I was inside the hospital (kind of weird) and told me that she would call if there was a problem and would call when they were ready to go. We live 5 minutes from the hospital, so I just went home. An hour later, I went and picked up Natalie's friend and I took her back to my house, where her dad and brother came to pick her up. At about 2 am, they called to tell us that we could pick Micah and Natalie up. Micah was completely fine. The girls were bruised and sore, but the only actual injury was Natalie's hand. She must have smacked it on the window or roof as they were going around. She still has a lot of pain in her thumb area. We have been to the Upper Limb clinic in London and have gone for tons of tests. She did physio for 6 months and then occupational therapy for a bit, but nothing has helped. It's quite a problem for her. She is very limited with it. She can hardly turn a key in a lock. I sure hope that with time it heals. The Lord's hand was on those kids that night. They could have hit the live trees instead of the dead ones. One of the girls could have fallen out one of the windows. It could have been the part of the road that had a big ditch, instead of them going up a hill and rolling back down. It could have been so much worse. We were so thankful and still are.</p><p>I was tired and a little shaky the next few days. But that Monday night after doing a Bible study with a few of my friends at church, I noticed that I couldn't control the pace of my talking or even my voice while I was praying. I thought I was just tired. But when I got home, I had a panic attack. It's the first time ever in my life. Most people have no idea that I've been struggling. It's not that obvious and it's not always there. I have weeks that I feel completely myself, but I also have weeks that I feel very off - A stone in my chest, an ache in my belly, heavier breathing, tears and exhaustion. Panic attacks are few because I can usually feel them starting to form and often with breathing and prayer I can get on top of them. It can come on when I am too busy or tired or when I am happy and get too excited. It can overwhelm when I am somewhere crowded or when I am just at home sitting on my couch. Sometimes, I can be going about my day and I can hear and feel myself weeping inside for no reason. That happens when I am not even sad, but it makes me sad. My adrenaline got stuck in overdrive and my adrenals crashed. My body always thinks there is an emergency. I can talk to myself all day long and tell my body that there is nothing wrong, but it doesn't listen to my heart and mind. I am doing counselling and am also going to a Natural Path and she is helping me find things to bring my adrenaline down and heal my adrenals. She has been a tremendous blessing. </p><p>We have had a tough 13 years. Cancer for a few years. Recovery took a few more years. Parents of kids that have gone through medical stuff are often left with PTSD/trauma. I don't use that word lightly. It just is. We were really hurt about 5 years ago. It's a complicated hurt and one that hasn't gone away for us and the healing is slow. All of those years, I was very thankful that the Lord kept me close and kept me standing strong and coping well. He was very kind to me. <b>I think that the accident pushed me over the edge. My body, heart and mind hit their limit of what they could take. </b>Breaking like this has really humbled me. At first, I thought and still sometimes struggle with - What is wrong with me? Am I not trusting enough? Am I a loser? Why can't I just talk my body into cooperating and suck it up? Why do I feel so less and weak? When I pray and pray why doesn't He take it away? In my weakness, I have learned to ask for help, know my limits and to be ok with setting limits. I am learning to give myself grace and treat myself kindly. I have started to depend on the Lord in a different way. He is coming near to me and teaching me. </p><p>This post has sat in my drafts since March. I wasn't ready to write before that and I haven't been ready to share until now. It's hard to share these things. But I have learned over the years that sharing is good. I don't share for sympathy. That is my biggest reservation in being so vulnerable. I want you to know that my life is beautiful and blessed, but also hard. After an earlier post that hinted at struggle, people contacted me and thanked me for putting it out there. They shared their story of sadness and anxiety and we could encourage each other. To me, that is part of what the family of Christ is. <b>I think that if we break down our walls, our struggles will become less isolating. If we all stay plastic people that are always 'fine', we miss out on walking together. </b></p><p>I have longed for heaven since Micah relapsed. I would beg Jesus to come back in those dark days. The longing isn't so acute, but being heavenly minded hasn't left me. Life is beautiful and the Lord has me here at this time for a purpose and I pray for faithfulness in what ever He has put before me. I love my family, my friends and church. The Lord has blessed me with many gifts. But the reality of a broken world is hard. Sickness.<b> </b>Sadness. Brokenness. Sin. It's like a marathon and sometimes the next mile just seems too hard.<b> </b>Eternity at the feet of Jesus sounds so beautiful to me. <b>But our hard miles are doable, one step at a time, because</b> <b>He is faithful. He has gone before us and is in each day. His promises are true. His grace, strength and mercy are abundant and His character is dependable. Now that is something to hold onto. </b></p>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-43315779397431246492021-05-05T20:32:00.002-04:002021-06-17T19:02:19.489-04:00Conquering the Giant - One Step at a Time<p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is a trail called Top of the Giant in Thunder Bay and Ken is going to ‘Conquer the Giant’ with Micah and Josiah in July, Lord willing. This walk will be a fundraiser for pediatric cancer research. It’s a celebration and a way to give back. For those reading this who don’t know our story, <a href="https://belindandken.blogspot.com/p/micahs-story.html" target="_blank">here is the link</a> that will give you a very short synopsis. </span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-d9b21714-7fff-0210-2ddf-a072bf34fc97"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ken has wanted to do this for many years and he had decided that he was going to do it the year that Micah was 10 years cancer free. We also wanted to have a giant bbq to wrap up the fundraiser, with all of the people from far and wide, who loved and supported us all of those years. But last year covid happened. Covid is still happening, so we can’t have our party, but Ken can still do his walk. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We feel so much gratitude first to God for all that He has done for us. But we also feel so thankful for the medical technology and research that Micah had access to. The treatment for cancer itself has come such a long way in the last 30 years. But we even benefited from newer research and tech. The first time that Micah had cancer, he took part in a study that attacked his cancer in a more intense way. Having stage 4, that research was instrumental in getting rid of his cancer. In 2008, the radiation treatment he received was brand new and they could time each blast to his breathing, allowing them to radiate his liver. Otherwise, the damage that could have been done to his other organs would have outweighed the good of the radiation. It’s ultimately God who healed and 'conquered the giant' of cancer, but He used the amazing means of doctors, researchers and scientists to make it happen. Ken just wants to give back, even if in the big picture it’s just a tiny bit. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The date Ken has planned to walk is July 5th. It’s a 22.7km hike with a 950ft rise in elevation. He plans to do it in one day with the boys. Details will come as to which organization will receive the money and how you can donate. We just wanted to put it out there, so you had lots of time to think and pray and to decide if this is something that you would like to support. We would also appreciate it if you would be willing to spread the word. (: </span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-17140304260339115542021-03-26T22:00:00.006-04:002021-03-28T15:44:42.831-04:00God has picked out a boy for me... He is just waiting for me to grow up. <p><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was looking through my posts and realized that this one was never published. I don't want to forget Tessa at 4.This was originally written in August 2020.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">On Sunday nights Ken often goes for a drive, usually to Port Bruce. The people who go with him vary depending on the night. Last night, Tessa and I went </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">along. Tessa</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"> loves being with Ken and I. She got in the van and said with a shrug of her shoulders, “Well, I guess it’s just the three of us.” It was a delighted shrug. Her face was kind of content like picture below when she said it. </span></p><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq4uvL342k3vSlGFrrUFt9fhoCYvPT5ISs4V_WwwplQTpgc1fiRivZz8w6YdErdOhN0fa6hxVPktMaGe84zgdTsQBuDvNSReb0JGftOeAsrfsS437cADgDlMbEJ4aebf1wtRJtcjQ-DpI/s821/117535622_3132633680117386_293365605951071602_o+%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="821" data-original-width="709" height="625" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq4uvL342k3vSlGFrrUFt9fhoCYvPT5ISs4V_WwwplQTpgc1fiRivZz8w6YdErdOhN0fa6hxVPktMaGe84zgdTsQBuDvNSReb0JGftOeAsrfsS437cADgDlMbEJ4aebf1wtRJtcjQ-DpI/w539-h625/117535622_3132633680117386_293365605951071602_o+%25282%2529.jpg" width="539" /></a></div><br /><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we got to the beach and I opened the door, the sound of the waves made my heart skip a beat. The wind was blowing in my face and the waves were roaring. They were so loud that Ken and I could hardly hear each other. Look at this spectacular wave. </span></div><span id="docs-internal-guid-fb434015-7fff-092c-f85d-085e6a13d172"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSrQ6wfbS1Z51rHf5Uup7XcI2lHJ2-L1T46c9oi3UVVvPnCx0JLcKoyLmMnaRMDjr-aul39gQG7CQztFMOU4rOjaDF1k1e4oxXOGpQ5qePsHYKpu3TEGrcAt-9hsa8jpxzyjJxIJ5HrKY/s749/117316625_287594965865610_5741188307733333408_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="749" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSrQ6wfbS1Z51rHf5Uup7XcI2lHJ2-L1T46c9oi3UVVvPnCx0JLcKoyLmMnaRMDjr-aul39gQG7CQztFMOU4rOjaDF1k1e4oxXOGpQ5qePsHYKpu3TEGrcAt-9hsa8jpxzyjJxIJ5HrKY/s640/117316625_287594965865610_5741188307733333408_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tessa collected sticks and planted feathers. She chased seagulls and ran from waves. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwThuSYApcQjaVnxsqa3wdiOMGqlqhKYqAuZLX_9pYqniP0MUIrxoLpMMYSyoM4FbCx2eFrU2ssVIypGF3MtyTGRE4FR17OgMVtq07p4z1OSAFMYZSAXxSyyDfoYAEggUK4mVs3WZADB0/s960/117526548_3139184729462281_3170798200740748951_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="773" data-original-width="960" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwThuSYApcQjaVnxsqa3wdiOMGqlqhKYqAuZLX_9pYqniP0MUIrxoLpMMYSyoM4FbCx2eFrU2ssVIypGF3MtyTGRE4FR17OgMVtq07p4z1OSAFMYZSAXxSyyDfoYAEggUK4mVs3WZADB0/s640/117526548_3139184729462281_3170798200740748951_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tessa thinks about the future a lot and asks a lot of questions. As we were driving home from the beach, she told me that she wants to feed a baby and knows how, but that she may need help. I told her that her husband could help her or I would gladly be her helper. Ken smiled and said something about her having a husband. She said to Ken, <b>“SO DAD… I know that God has picked out a boy for me and that boy is just waiting for me to grow up.” </b> I had a conversation about this with Siah and Grace about 6 months ago and she was obviously listening.</span></div><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Those words coming out of her mouth made me smile so big. It warmed me to the core. But it also reminded me that I need to pray for the spouses of my kids more often. I already have a tangible person to pray for in Riley. Josh is marrying a beautiful young lady and we are so thankful. She is a gift. We don't know what the Lord has planned for the other five kids. Since they all have a desire to get married and have their own family, I pray that there is a young woman set aside for Micah, a young man for Natalie, a young lady for Siah and a boy for Grace and Tessa.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wonder where they are now? Are they being raised in a Christian home? Do they love the Lord? Are their parents teaching them faithfully in the ways of the Lord? </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I am praying that these kids are being taught about our Savior. That their hearts have been gripped by His grace and mercy. That they are learning who they are in Christ and how beautiful that is. I am praying that their parents are telling them about how amazing God is - His faithfulness. His kindness. His graciousness. His mercy. His tenderness. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am in no hurry. But I am excited to see what the Lord has planned for my kids. (:</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></span>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-83696166485095830292021-03-26T21:23:00.013-04:002021-04-03T09:01:00.580-04:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Most of the time I dump my pictures on Facebook. I love to see my memories come up every year. I went to do that yesterday, but I just couldn't do it. I like writing words with the pictures just like the good old days. I think looking back at my blog is better in the end. I need to start blogging our everyday life like I used to do when the kids were small. I find it enjoyable. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Anybody who knows me, knows that I love water. I love love love water. In mid-summer, we go 3 or 4 times a week after we do supper dishes. I don't love sitting on the beach in mid-day in the sun. I go to listen to the waves, walk with Ken and watch the sun go down. When I hear the wind blowing through our trees, I will often jump in the van and go. It's so beautiful. It shows the Lord's power and majesty. It can get wild and loud. It can be peaceful and serene. I prefer wild and loud. It renews me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"> This is what I am looking forward to. This first picture is ocean like to me. I love the way Josiah is standing. He is taking in the majestic-ness of the whole thing. The waves were taller than he was. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGEkV4US7JUDXxZTURkniOeVfhdrMrOaPTkyErnzbV5xfetgZkxQHPFBtIIvS-lCMvTGjAv1HrI65kJPSM6YorRwYVlI8yUG7fnS2LPusKYTMcq6R9XGdr6YJ-CrPimN0paJejStQi8M0/s2048/121162958_3325439017503517_8212320992993150587_o+%25281%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1084" data-original-width="2048" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGEkV4US7JUDXxZTURkniOeVfhdrMrOaPTkyErnzbV5xfetgZkxQHPFBtIIvS-lCMvTGjAv1HrI65kJPSM6YorRwYVlI8yUG7fnS2LPusKYTMcq6R9XGdr6YJ-CrPimN0paJejStQi8M0/w640-h338/121162958_3325439017503517_8212320992993150587_o+%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Can you just feel it? </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh373ntnIuki5MtiVFJCBe5PyJ1UwiW_it5mSWVNgOeYymTB3fD-YgjOWbq-mhxnfw2xxZ2fjsMEBgzUX-rBAjYVB-lCIhvGLB7QdFdV7UOR8RDbCqrGkJ6L23fXJjPkSczl9sgDm4EZJo/s750/120237857_686442325583548_3392489044426487132_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="511" data-original-width="750" height="436" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh373ntnIuki5MtiVFJCBe5PyJ1UwiW_it5mSWVNgOeYymTB3fD-YgjOWbq-mhxnfw2xxZ2fjsMEBgzUX-rBAjYVB-lCIhvGLB7QdFdV7UOR8RDbCqrGkJ6L23fXJjPkSczl9sgDm4EZJo/w640-h436/120237857_686442325583548_3392489044426487132_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"> After full weeks, the last few Saturdays, we have packed up the 3 youngest kids and just started driving along the lake. Sometimes, no matter how busy we are, stepping out goes much further than continuing to plow through.The week before last we went to Port Burwell, Long Point and Port Rowan. The marina at Port Rowan was dreamy. It was so very cold, but I shivered and ran up hills and went back down just to find my perfect angle. Ken is very patient and Siah and Grace are always game to get the right picture with me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8FEHlEXPtD2Oc63NouWtiNxUQ_xH7zIMS_g5UZFoxsIAOWwpGg9ouMiEuU19_DSKnl6z3YfsIemb3HARPGojr4vaPfg089hmIMPKtozbvGuQDjKe9gE9FfxwWxQtDVicQIQDbBtmV9bQ/s2048/3CB2AEF6-A736-4005-97EC-181D2B576476.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2048" height="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8FEHlEXPtD2Oc63NouWtiNxUQ_xH7zIMS_g5UZFoxsIAOWwpGg9ouMiEuU19_DSKnl6z3YfsIemb3HARPGojr4vaPfg089hmIMPKtozbvGuQDjKe9gE9FfxwWxQtDVicQIQDbBtmV9bQ/w640-h500/3CB2AEF6-A736-4005-97EC-181D2B576476.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Found it. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHnXwS_2NW0zzfacftdisD_O8PZmVGRuAMmNFkJ3SIIeqkdsLeht0Z_ajxLQl74VAODq3OIfVGdmGaU9vSWGK_Jy6JO9unPV431eqHkOdB8K54fMjJbOvmgmp9bCCYL4L-duRLbWtNl8A/s2048/C7017C12-5567-40FD-85DE-90D905EC0FC4.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1093" data-original-width="2048" height="342" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHnXwS_2NW0zzfacftdisD_O8PZmVGRuAMmNFkJ3SIIeqkdsLeht0Z_ajxLQl74VAODq3OIfVGdmGaU9vSWGK_Jy6JO9unPV431eqHkOdB8K54fMjJbOvmgmp9bCCYL4L-duRLbWtNl8A/w640-h342/C7017C12-5567-40FD-85DE-90D905EC0FC4.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Last Saturday we went to Ipperwash, Port Franks and Grand Bend. It was warm and sunny and such a delight. We were only gone for 4 hours, but it felt like a mini vacation and we needed it. Ipperwash was still full of ice, we could hardly see open water. That wasn't what we were expecting at all, but it was beautiful. These pictures weren't edited. The ice was a funny texture. It almost looks the picture is over edited. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4tMe3c8tJq0TH1IOHBuGn57i8kpppNMIM6Lp7FE0S0WZOcvAz7RuEAA7xN2vM92IUt9ijIaI0meNFMgQA-cnnDzKovTQWnE5wtp6ypqBT6NTOGNSryMJCgjKw8Gq1AtHSs6KCPtpINU0/s750/161490753_480120986497513_8878328697079000520_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="505" data-original-width="750" height="430" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4tMe3c8tJq0TH1IOHBuGn57i8kpppNMIM6Lp7FE0S0WZOcvAz7RuEAA7xN2vM92IUt9ijIaI0meNFMgQA-cnnDzKovTQWnE5wtp6ypqBT6NTOGNSryMJCgjKw8Gq1AtHSs6KCPtpINU0/w640-h430/161490753_480120986497513_8878328697079000520_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"> We packed a supper and ate at Ipperwash. It was warm enough because the sun was out. Next time we will take our little grill. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIUnkarqk1aryCpt2F0eN8syqbZyBGZ-v7ien6loabwBh8aU1KBp68bhRuSA1hA4XkDWJCVD9FN8qeYa6nDApF8ZYdhaBUEsjYgTpbIc9PUixdDtDp2tQ_BzDTu_qCLGIEf5DBgIMv-h0/s749/161709253_756931818356619_4991744827523786464_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="676" data-original-width="749" height="578" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIUnkarqk1aryCpt2F0eN8syqbZyBGZ-v7ien6loabwBh8aU1KBp68bhRuSA1hA4XkDWJCVD9FN8qeYa6nDApF8ZYdhaBUEsjYgTpbIc9PUixdDtDp2tQ_BzDTu_qCLGIEf5DBgIMv-h0/w640-h578/161709253_756931818356619_4991744827523786464_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">She's very pleased to be eating supper in the sun. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsTclDomlkyyd6Rr9mVfLfVLt2zsD47VfyXX4psi1gfO3mteru1IQsJ8Uf0oV-ZHf0dV9J6Ly4heaboId6IkpO2COqIILjnJLgqCvlEFBKgjPOLJZeQYECZe1bUhc1CYP8iiIrBK5x-Yw/s800/163491142_253169736527301_8115227491578005170_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="750" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsTclDomlkyyd6Rr9mVfLfVLt2zsD47VfyXX4psi1gfO3mteru1IQsJ8Uf0oV-ZHf0dV9J6Ly4heaboId6IkpO2COqIILjnJLgqCvlEFBKgjPOLJZeQYECZe1bUhc1CYP8iiIrBK5x-Yw/w600-h640/163491142_253169736527301_8115227491578005170_n.jpg" width="600" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"> At Port Franks, we didn't find a beach, just a marina and a big sand hill. I tried to upload a video of them running down, but it didn't work. It's way bigger than it looks. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTP4SsKUCmbD8gmS3ON2R1UL0eG_OCCYSCQZgXgdzUHjG2pXvMp07bcOC4OelIhfUAY2Gg7xllWQwosw4EoJF2ZNobrfFoJ8N7V8dwtuYeSlDzbb8Kt5vuK5MZ-wy1WDYCN15aU1q_rB0/s750/163654956_436261687603891_8430330729101629681_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="532" data-original-width="750" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTP4SsKUCmbD8gmS3ON2R1UL0eG_OCCYSCQZgXgdzUHjG2pXvMp07bcOC4OelIhfUAY2Gg7xllWQwosw4EoJF2ZNobrfFoJ8N7V8dwtuYeSlDzbb8Kt5vuK5MZ-wy1WDYCN15aU1q_rB0/w640-h454/163654956_436261687603891_8430330729101629681_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: right;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwrw7O7TSQRSm4MhYQuEDgizuTaJZWaEjjrYGoq1qj-83QOrB7RxkdbI5ksxJjNGe8bGWEQ7jf15a07xQSNTufTKHk1MpvH7yL90EGru3dZAuH34oMEP2-dZMTS745gRr-vtZRZb5luvs/s968/163485003_1654980631556453_3662654808478100598_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="968" data-original-width="750" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwrw7O7TSQRSm4MhYQuEDgizuTaJZWaEjjrYGoq1qj-83QOrB7RxkdbI5ksxJjNGe8bGWEQ7jf15a07xQSNTufTKHk1MpvH7yL90EGru3dZAuH34oMEP2-dZMTS745gRr-vtZRZb5luvs/w496-h640/163485003_1654980631556453_3662654808478100598_n.jpg" width="496" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Grand Bend is a place that holds lots of memories for me. We don't go there in peak summer. It's busy and full of young people. I don't find it super family friendly. We tend to go in the spring and the fall. We went there a lot after Micah relapsed. It was our escape. Being in the house and in 'ordinary' was hard because everything wasn't ordinary. I have this next picture on the wall in my room. Micah and Natalie were so sweet together. I find that every time as we go down the hill to the beach, without thinking I take a deep breath in, feeling a pang of remembrance and thanking the Lord for life. Sometimes places and memories of those places etch deep and your body just remembers. My last post and this paragraph may make it sound like all we do is think about cancer and those hard years. We don't at all. It's usually in the back of our mind. But it really only comes out a few times a year. In early December and March is when the cracks in our hearts open for a few days - We let ourselves feel and then it gets put back. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh26Qdz2HoukpQ0rTLhCKmr2HUgkBGUJIAArOR1xfLyrIMInB__73O6rHsOgkoWU9FkSvFg069HWNj5NRfNTjdb7DBKCzPFZVxZ09r1IAV8RjUlBm0BZZzM_r5gLXjpzkFY2eCaWqR2-Rg/s750/165892146_892393021544378_5578462507697608715_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="305" data-original-width="750" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh26Qdz2HoukpQ0rTLhCKmr2HUgkBGUJIAArOR1xfLyrIMInB__73O6rHsOgkoWU9FkSvFg069HWNj5NRfNTjdb7DBKCzPFZVxZ09r1IAV8RjUlBm0BZZzM_r5gLXjpzkFY2eCaWqR2-Rg/w640-h260/165892146_892393021544378_5578462507697608715_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ken is a lot of fun. If I would see another dad on the playground, I may roll my eyes. After all, the equipment is for kids!! haha! But when I see Ken with the kids I say - He is such a good dad. (: </div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPdWHj6_mQe3nUGuKnPO6k_DIg5MOGWnBxW2EZaCgNxxSK64BncnJvWdGcOISCFPTcv31V6haSe-nKzVEdS0ZAfeA82A351YUcyUlMaoYYmOtcfSFqz6v1W0q40Fj3yVoBPiOD8mDc8HU/s1484/B2C82878-3B02-4D83-9E8F-7141EB784886.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1445" data-original-width="1484" height="624" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPdWHj6_mQe3nUGuKnPO6k_DIg5MOGWnBxW2EZaCgNxxSK64BncnJvWdGcOISCFPTcv31V6haSe-nKzVEdS0ZAfeA82A351YUcyUlMaoYYmOtcfSFqz6v1W0q40Fj3yVoBPiOD8mDc8HU/w640-h624/B2C82878-3B02-4D83-9E8F-7141EB784886.jpeg" width="640" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"> I want to live on that far corner. Water. Sunsets. Dreamy. </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkH4NmBk6kGJbowfYRuyClA98BziI03BC-hnpB2alrHOawc9xpI-ZtV3x6CbAO8hY_CNuyk_TcErTXhZTh95hsuzREZQftTuHR301apYlUkFT7BVVW32sMFpk_aUcBFG6_cbd7BKh_eh8/s2048/B691829A-323E-47E1-98B8-7DEE3ACE2049.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1535" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkH4NmBk6kGJbowfYRuyClA98BziI03BC-hnpB2alrHOawc9xpI-ZtV3x6CbAO8hY_CNuyk_TcErTXhZTh95hsuzREZQftTuHR301apYlUkFT7BVVW32sMFpk_aUcBFG6_cbd7BKh_eh8/w640-h480/B691829A-323E-47E1-98B8-7DEE3ACE2049.jpeg" width="640" /></a></p><p style="text-align: left;"> We could have stayed up there for a really long time. The sun was so warm and the view so beautiful. I adore Tessa's boots. They are so her. </p><p style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg91dh6Tao0sWNZXK7LMUfH8AhKgcsCn2UTEKFqGMSKbm8gOceZRDIDDp9iAp5-16RC1ODhtvCfftJIwi3WIVSWvElMpDbBqBjliRbWoosAgznzZsWH1a_ZK3u4rj9i6YmvX8aWdmw3e40/s2048/EF432EE4-1733-4729-8681-54BA8B838548.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2018" data-original-width="2048" height="630" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg91dh6Tao0sWNZXK7LMUfH8AhKgcsCn2UTEKFqGMSKbm8gOceZRDIDDp9iAp5-16RC1ODhtvCfftJIwi3WIVSWvElMpDbBqBjliRbWoosAgznzZsWH1a_ZK3u4rj9i6YmvX8aWdmw3e40/w640-h630/EF432EE4-1733-4729-8681-54BA8B838548.jpeg" width="640" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"> This part of Grand Bend looks like spring. </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaZ8awXYEPbyJi8lhHV9L7tEtmBDOME8Q0A2qo_mZ6w1lRNm4mOnWfVudQcYEUY2lMTgWEZmnOrw_YNLbW9s9PsnbmlIT8GdbQtOO1VPbtipOYx8eM-v8dDOAj_2zcuddVoF_Lav2xVRM/s2048/7B736A46-12F3-4961-8EB7-8338717D7C5C.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaZ8awXYEPbyJi8lhHV9L7tEtmBDOME8Q0A2qo_mZ6w1lRNm4mOnWfVudQcYEUY2lMTgWEZmnOrw_YNLbW9s9PsnbmlIT8GdbQtOO1VPbtipOYx8eM-v8dDOAj_2zcuddVoF_Lav2xVRM/w640-h480/7B736A46-12F3-4961-8EB7-8338717D7C5C.jpeg" width="640" /></a><br /><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"> We all stood here looking at the ice and we felt like we were somewhere in Alaska. Maybe you had to be there. haha. </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisG8HM-KO06q_bLtr9tvc_PCVzDmcnLRwSfte3Mqxu7eee568Djteb2DCYNV5XFPta6ZvRPzGiJxlpszwGSw5njmxVuNxihXcjWgHTfe27EZhdWnWElFQBiI2LstH6gWeGXgsa5Rg89oE/s2048/AF9AD54E-6B0E-418F-9484-659D55B536CE.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisG8HM-KO06q_bLtr9tvc_PCVzDmcnLRwSfte3Mqxu7eee568Djteb2DCYNV5XFPta6ZvRPzGiJxlpszwGSw5njmxVuNxihXcjWgHTfe27EZhdWnWElFQBiI2LstH6gWeGXgsa5Rg89oE/w640-h480/AF9AD54E-6B0E-418F-9484-659D55B536CE.jpeg" width="640" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"> When I see these pictures, I wish that I had a real camera. My phone works, but someday.... (: </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi30teQQEDB3c-2viTGpYlB37nVUK0Upw9dfTXP-lVgVMdFDOVVmL4_AHWMxP5TW91eBqVRg_y9gI-k2mhsE4YSsFdb1eXVqO5iEvQU_Op0IlbZ_ZXso_p-jgqGXIGHsvVPbugUlfoh1w/s2025/03012247-D857-4160-A1FF-C864E6E4A00F.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1553" data-original-width="2025" height="490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi30teQQEDB3c-2viTGpYlB37nVUK0Upw9dfTXP-lVgVMdFDOVVmL4_AHWMxP5TW91eBqVRg_y9gI-k2mhsE4YSsFdb1eXVqO5iEvQU_Op0IlbZ_ZXso_p-jgqGXIGHsvVPbugUlfoh1w/w640-h490/03012247-D857-4160-A1FF-C864E6E4A00F.jpeg" width="640" /></a></p><p>Our adventures were exciting. It's like we were coming out of our winter cocoon. I am really looking forward to our beach trips. I can't wait for my waves, Ken likes the fries and Tessa likes the icecream. (: As soon as it's warm enough, the girls and I are going to pack up some mornings and do our school at our picnic table at Port Bruce because - Why not? (:</p><p>(Excuse the formatting on the captions. I couldn't fix them. l:)</p>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-16736908194855849362021-03-25T13:17:00.017-04:002021-03-27T09:16:46.772-04:00Remembering 11 years ago<span id="docs-internal-guid-6b09ad34-7fff-d034-3e7e-eee10f3e82ae"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today is the 11th anniversary of Micah’s big lung surgery. We have had lots of hard days, but I think this one might have been the most difficult. We trusted the outcome to our sovereign and tender heavenly Father, but our hearts suffered with questions. Could this be the day? Could it be the day that the Lord was going to take Micah to heaven? </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On the fourth Monday in March, Micah went in for his weekly treatment. His oncologist told us that day that the tumor was continuing to grow and that his only chance was surgery. If we didn't do the surgery, he would only have a few months left with us. They had an OR time booked for him that Thursday and we had to tell them our decision as soon as possible. We were hoping for surgery, but not this way. When he relapsed, the tumor in his lungs was already too big to be taken out. Since he had used all of the drugs the first time around, all he could try was some oral chemo. We were hoping the oral chemo would shrink it enough to then have surgery. A last chance surgery sounded risky to me. It would weaken him significantly and they almost guaranteed that it would come back. When it did, there was nothing that we would be able to do. They expected that it could even come back within a few months. I thought - Why would we put him through that when he could have a few good months left? Why make him suffer more if the end point is still the same? Ken couldn't even entertain not doing the surgery. Not doing the surgery was letting him go and in his mind it wasn't time yet. Pastor John echoed his sentiment - Why not try for life? </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>(As I write this, I am listening to a playlist on Amazon Music. It’s one that they have picked out from my preferences. The song, I Can Only Imagine just came on. It makes me laugh and cry at how fitting it is. After Micah relapsed, he and I spent a lot of time talking about heaven. We talked about how he would love it there, that our hearts would have an empty spot without him, but that he wouldn’t miss us and would be exactly where he belongs - Home. From the moment he went to heaven, we would be waiting for the time that we could join him. We would come as soon as the Lord let us. We would play this song and sometimes my 8 year old, who was bound for heaven in the next months, would be singing it with all of his strength and there was such raw beauty and pain in those moments. </i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><br /></i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>(Condensed)</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>I can only imagine</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>What it will be like</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>When I walk by your side</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>I can only imagine</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>What my eyes would see</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>When your face is before me</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Surrounded by your glory</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>What will my heart feel</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Will I dance for you Jesus</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Or in awe of You be still</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Will I stand in your presence</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>To my knees will I fall</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Will I sing hallelujah</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Will I be able to speak at all</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>I can only imagine</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>When that day comes</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>And I find myself</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Standing in the sun</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>I can only imagine</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>When all I will do</i></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Is forever worship you.)</i></span></p><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Letting him go into surgery was excruciating. In that moment, our hearts broke in a different way than they had in the past. He was calm, but I knew he was scared and I couldn't fix it. I couldn't fix anything. We prayed with him and gave him to the Lord. I remember looking deeply into his brown eyes and touching his soft white cheek. I was trying to memorize him. The surgery went two hours over the time that they had booked. It was such sweet relief when they came out and told us that all was well. I almost sank to the floor. It was like a weight rolled off of my shoulders. The first leg was done. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The time after surgery was so difficult. His lungs were working at different times. Watching one side of his chest go up and then the other was unnerving. His heartrate was incredibly high. His eyes even changed color from the strain. Right after he got up to his room, his epidural stopped working. It's the first time that I ever raised my voice at a nurse or even had angry thoughts in this way. Nurses were our friends and we worked closely with them over our years there and appreciated them so much. But his nurse knew nothing about epidurals and we needed someone to fix it. Now. Micah was still half under from surgery, but it was so evident that he was in intense pain and I couldn't hold my panic in. I could normally compartmentalize and care for Micah while keeping my emotions in check. I would always deal with them later on my own when I had time, even if was just 15 minutes in a hospital bathroom. It was the only place that I could let go in the hospital. But I remember pacing with my hands resting on my 28 week pregnant belly and just weeping in those hours. It was just too much. Later, I couldn't rest until I found that nurse to apologize. She was so gracious. The surgeon came up a few hours after Micah was up on the floor and echoed my words in a louder voice. He was a different kind of guy - Kind, but socially awkward in a 1990's highschool computer club kinda way. But I came to love him very quickly. His skill in the operating room was exceptional and his care for Micah was special. He took control like I have never seen. He promised Micah no pain afterwards and he would do anything to keep that promise. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Micah </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">couldn't stand visitors or even anyone else besides Ken or I in the room. He would get very agitated. My mom came to sit with him once or twice, so Ken and I could step away together for a few hours, but that was it. I don't even think our kids visited him until the end of the first week. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Watching Micah suffer made us wonder if we made the right decision. </span></div><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">During that time especially, we looked to the Lord to fill our chests with air for every breath, to guide our thoughts and our hearts. We lived, breathing prayer in those days. The Lord was at our shoulder. I could feel Him brushing beside me. That could possibly sound irreverent to some, but it's reality sometimes in the valley of the shadow of death. I don't wish for that pain again for any of us, but sometimes I find myself aching for that shoulder brush. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since relapse, I had been slowly letting him go. I didn't show less love, but I was holding him looser and trying to honor the Lord in my grief and let him go 'well'. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">But after the surgery, I grappled with the question of - Can I let myself undo the letting go that I had started? </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">As time passed, we prayed for just a few healthy months for him as we brought our sweet new baby, Grace Micaiah into the family. Then we prayed for 10 years old. 12 years old. Highschool. Driving. Graduation. Now he is almost done his first year of university. We are seeing him become a man and it's a beautiful thing - Oh Lord O Lord how excellent is your name. You have given us such a gift. It's something that somedays we just can't quite comprehend. In the process of those hard years, we were given the opportunity to put what we believed into </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">practice</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Our knowledge of You and belief in You became more real as we saw how You gave us breath to breathe in the moment, words to say and strength to stay standing. We saw Your care over us in every aspect of our lives. We saw Your faithfulness firsthand and we learned that you are good in death and in life. Always. Our suffering brought us to the cross daily and put us on our knees. Thank you for transforming us with Your grace especially during that time and giving Micah back to us and letting us keep him for so long. You are: My Redeemer. My Most High God (El Elyon). My Master (Adonai). My Healer (Jehovah Rapha). My God Who Sees (El Roi). My Provider (Jehovah Jireh). My All Sufficient One (El Shaddai). My Peace (Jehovah Shalom). My Sanctifier (Jehovah Mekoddishkem). My Righteousness (Jehovah Tsidkenu). My Everlasting God (El Olan). My Shepherd (Jehovah Rohi). Amen.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was explaining to a friend that this day was the worst day, but also the best. It was so painful, but also the beginning of beautiful. We had to endure the darkness of death, to get to the beauty of life. This resonated with me today. For the first time in my life, the last months have been filled with the struggle of anxiety and exhaustion. I am slowly coming out the other side. But in the beginning, it felt very dark and when it's one step forward and 2 steps back, it can be very discouraging. But like the time for us 11 years ago, sometimes you have to walk through horrible hard stuff to get to the beautiful part. Sometimes the only way is through and the way through becomes a time of growth and a time that you are given eyes to see what you couldn't before. It becomes a time that you needed. At first, it feels like all is dark and broken, but slowly rays start to poke through. There are dark days still, but you have hope because you have seen some of those rays. Until one day, you are standing with your face turned upwards feeling the warm sunshine. I can't wait. I have been quiet about my struggles because I wasn't ready to share. I am not quite out the other side yet, but my days are equal in regards light and dark and that is encouraging. I am not sharing to put focus on myself, but as I was writing this post and thinking about these things, I realized that it was time to share just this little bit in case it encouraged you, like it did me. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">All of our dear family and friends who walked so closely with us in those years - Thank you. For those who are new and weren't there for those days, thank you for walking into our story through this post. Please thank the Lord with us today. Bless His Holy name!! His mercy and kindness towards us is so beautiful. I always end these posts with my favorite Psalm 103...</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p></span><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">1 Bless the Lord, O my soul,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and all that is within me,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> bless his holy name!</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and forget not all his benefits,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">3 who forgives all your iniquity,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> who heals all your diseases,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">4 who redeems your life from the pit,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">5 who satisfies you with good</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">6 The Lord works righteousness</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and justice for all who are oppressed.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">7 He made known his ways to Moses,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> his acts to the people of Israel.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">9 He will not always chide,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> nor will he keep his anger forever.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> nor repay us according to our iniquities.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">12 as far as the east is from the west,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> so far does he remove our transgressions from us.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">13 As a father shows compassion to his children,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">14 For he knows our frame;[a]</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> he remembers that we are dust.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">15 As for man, his days are like grass;</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> he flourishes like a flower of the field;</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and its place knows it no more.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting</span></span></div></div></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><span><div style="text-align: justify;"><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> to everlasting on those who fear him,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and his righteousness to children's children,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">18 to those who keep his covenant</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and remember to do his commandments.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and his kingdom rules over all.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">20 Bless the Lord, O you his angels,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> you mighty ones who do his word,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> obeying the voice of his word!</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">21 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> his ministers, who do his will!</span></span></div></div></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><span><div style="text-align: justify;"><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">22 Bless the Lord, all his works,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in all places of his dominion.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Bless the Lord, O my soul!</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div><div><br /></div></div></span></blockquote><span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"></div><p></p></span>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-20678998904874121802020-12-12T18:02:00.004-05:002020-12-12T18:52:39.296-05:00My Oma<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq4kbGoQMwkflXsm68UHJwmpGmlwZityUtDL4IokOwj-wR7TDbw4-JbD4mEoGlUWj0G3AODLYU8XQn96BMuvhSqQwBHkU8EXE-756aAN2kefZbGPDK07rGShyphenhyphenlO8OaAGl8FE3jD4nNYUA/s869/130264907_192613082578644_389333517254228805_n+%25281%2529.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="869" data-original-width="749" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq4kbGoQMwkflXsm68UHJwmpGmlwZityUtDL4IokOwj-wR7TDbw4-JbD4mEoGlUWj0G3AODLYU8XQn96BMuvhSqQwBHkU8EXE-756aAN2kefZbGPDK07rGShyphenhyphenlO8OaAGl8FE3jD4nNYUA/w345-h400/130264907_192613082578644_389333517254228805_n+%25281%2529.jpg" width="345" /></a></div><p>I have an Oma. She is 93 and I love her. She has always been a bit different and she has always done things her way. She is very independent and will be right to the end. </p><p>Oma lost her husband in her early 50's. I was a month away from 3 when Opa died from lung cancer. I don't actually remember my Opa in that I remember his face, but I remember his feeling and his feeling was one of warmth, love and security. </p><p>Even though I didn't know Opa, as a child, I longed for him. I didn't really have a real Opa - The one that hugged you and encouraged you. The one who was an example to you of how to live out your love for the Lord. An Opa to me always smelled good and had candies in his pocket. He was a man that was there for grandparents day and a man who took joy in you however small the accomplishment. I am the kind of girl that would have been an Opa's girl. I love affection, words of affirmation and closeness and in my mind that is what Opa's give. As a little girl, I would dream that God would give me my Opa for one day and I had to fit in all the hugs, show him all my report cards, my room and my friends all in that day. Some days I still long for my Opa. I have always wondered what his family would have looked like if he would have lived longer. He would have loved my kids so much. I just know it. The Lord took him in His timing and it was perfect. But even though I didn't know know him, I grieve for the loss of him sometimes. </p><p>I started working with my Oma very early. She cleaned houses. Some people thought that was weird. I didn't. She worked hard and paid for everything with cash. I hated cleaning houses, but $50 for a Saturday was pretty good money back in the late 80's, early 90's. I was making bank. haha. Once I got there, I didn't mind, but getting out of bed and waiting for her at the window was misery for me.</p><p>When I got into the car she would always say, "Belinda! The BOAT?" I would groan, "Yes the boat.", possibly with an eye roll in there. One day she told me a story of how she did work as a young girl and she hated it so much. They lived right on the water in Holland and she had to take a boat across to get where she was working. She hoped every single time as she was waiting for the boat that it would sink so she didn't have to go to work. So she knew that I was hoping that she didn't show up. She got it. </p><p>We cleaned two houses on Saturdays - The Johnsons and the Dennis'. Oma was a very thorough and a somewhat slow cleaner, so we always had lunch at the Johnsons. Every single time we got a ham sandwich with horseradish and a pop. It took me a while to take to the horseradish, but it was white bread, so I thought I had hit the jackpot. Pop was such a special treat for me and I remember the day that the pop cans went from 255mls to 385-ish. It was a good day. haha. </p><p>The Dennis' lived on the way to Sparta. It was a stinky dairy farm. I remember I cried the first time that I had to clean the bathroom that was by the back door. It was the one that they used coming in from the barn. It was disgusting. My home was very clean and I had never seen anything like it. I couldn't believe that I had to do that. I finally realize that apart from pressure washing the place, the only thing that my 12 year old self could think of was spilling water all over the sink and toilet like Oma did over the floor. I put a ton of Pinesol in my pail of hot water and poured. I still think of that bathroom when I smell Pinesol. If I let it sit long enough, I could close my eyes and pick up a lot of the filth with a paper towel. Then I could clean the bathroom like a regular bathroom. It was always clean, but it took a lot determination for me not to freak out. I also knew that the longer I sat there and looked at it, the longer the job would take. So, I might as well get it done. </p><p>The best thing about the Dennis' besides being done for the day is that I drove part of the way home. Oma had a little Escort and at 13 or 14, I was driving from about 10 minutes past the airport (towards Sparta) all the way to where St Joes is now. In the summer when we were camping at Dalewood seasonally, I was allowed to drive all the way to Ron McNeil Line. It was the highlight of my week. I would be so angry if my dad let my kids do that. But I thought it was pretty awesome and it made Oma the best one ever. </p><p>Over the years, my bond with Oma grew. We would talk about Opa and all of her brothers and sisters. We would talk about Holland and the war. We would talk about how so and so didn't come from the right part of Holland so that's why they are so different or why we shouldn't be friends with them. I don't condone this method, but a simple city could tell her all that she needed to know about someone. lol She told me over and over that she prayed for her grand kids as the bombs were coming down and I always liked that. It made me feel loved. </p><p>One time, Oma was getting gas at Lovedays and it was full serve back then. The man was putting oil in her car and was taking a bit too long for her liking. While the hood was up, she stepped on the gas and moved forward half a foot. It scared the daylights out of the guy under the hood. We laughed all the way home. Sometimes I wish she still remembered those things. Those were great times that we had together. As I got older, we talked about me a bit more. When I was upset with my parents, I told her. She was one of the first ones to know that I really like Ken. A year ago, she still was able to remember a time that she watched in horror from her second bench on the organ side at church when Ken walked in with another girl- When she knew that I clearly knew that he was the only one for me! (: </p><p>She stopped in every week and brought chocolate bars for my kids. She would go for walks with them. When we lived in Grand Rapids, she came for a few days once. That was fantastic. I was so excited to share that with her. In the last year, I have gotten reacquainted with her. I spend a lot of time there during the week giving her meds and I help her with some house work. She loves my kids. Everyone of them. She even thinks that Riley is the best the girlfriend in the world and that they should just get married. I usually go to Oma's five days a week and every single time she says, "Belinda! Aren't kids just the best? Aren't you so happy to have a big family? Everyone should have 8 kids. We only had 5, but that's what the Lord gave us. If you just want one or no kids then there must be something wrong with you. They just don't know. Belin, you need to tell them. Help them see what a blessing kids are." To her having a big family is next to godliness. (: </p><p>Micah is my vacuum day helper. Oma likes things just so. When I vacuum she will stand at my elbow the whole time. Today Micah couldn't come, so I took Siah and Grace. They are not even close to as skilled as Micah is in keeping her occupied and talking. He sits with her in her little sitting room and chats with her. When I am done the living room, dining room and bedroom, they switch places so I can vacuum where they were sitting. Last Friday was a bit crazy though. When I arrived, she had moved her couches and kitchen table. She moved her bed and her stove. Nuts lol. Micah could not get her into the sitting room for the first bit. He sat there and laughed while she took my vacuum out of my hand and showed me that I am vacuuming too quickly and with the wrong strokes. In the moment, I want to roll my eyes, but thinking about it later makes me laugh. I will probably be the same way when I am old.</p><p>I take Tessa quite often and that makes Oma so happy. She loves to touch Tessa's hand and hair. She loves to watch how Tessa moves and acts. She sees a bit of herself in Tessa. Every baby I have had she says - Echta Van Dyk or Echta Speelman or don't you think that baby looks just like me? She was wrong the first 5 times, but hit it with number 6. (: I see some real similarities in Tessa's personality and looks and it makes her so happy. So much so that she gave Tessa a picture of herself. I am so thrilled with it. It will hang on our wall until Tessa is big enough to hang it in her own home. I took a picture of them that day and I am so glad that I did. I just wished I would have fixed Oma's hair a bit. She had just gotten up. I guess that it adds to the sweetness. I have tons of pictures of Oma and my kids and wanted to post them in this post, but I just don't have the brain energy to track them all down tonight. (: I love old pictures and history. Oma has her boat ticket from when they emigrated, with a picture of their little family and a picture of their house in Holland all in one frame and I love it so much. I would love to hang that on my wall some day. It would be so precious to me. </p><p>I love my Oma and don't take her for granted. She has aged considerably since we have moved back to St Thomas. 93 is a beautiful old age and one where a person acknowledges that humanly they are coming to the end of their lives. She is starting to talk like that, but most days she is convinced that she will live to a 100 years old. If I could take a few things from Oma, the first would be to always 'obey yourself''. That sounds like poor theology, but what she means is that we need to use discipline. If you need to read your Bible, do it right now. If your house is dirty and needs to be cleaned and it's time to clean it, do it right now. Don't put things off or be lazy. The second one is that everything that happens is in the Lord's perfect time. She always says to me, "Everything that has happened to me in my life happened at the perfect time and I am just so surprised (her word for amazed) at the Lord. </p><p><br /></p>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-27216679645674789832020-07-22T19:18:00.000-04:002020-07-24T18:55:43.868-04:00 Tessa Jayne (4) brings us all so much joy. Her happiness and excitement is contagious. She is our number 6 and I have learned that even though I think I will remember everything, I actually don't remember much. All of my babies and little people blur together. So I need to get this down. Tessa is a passionate girl and tell me she loves me in big ways .<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Sz58z1pxgXdd40BsslOBd9lP_2Yt_891c9pDq0lTwYl8TF4reWMnX_i7YW7WhfslT43d4h0L_7lW46v-00TyYcaW4cL4iXwkb43a54Aipnf4zvJ3NJKhRVWlmSgYLNOlOl6EzUcdHrs/s1600/115801799_1589218607904455_5447532814836108993_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="912" data-original-width="750" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Sz58z1pxgXdd40BsslOBd9lP_2Yt_891c9pDq0lTwYl8TF4reWMnX_i7YW7WhfslT43d4h0L_7lW46v-00TyYcaW4cL4iXwkb43a54Aipnf4zvJ3NJKhRVWlmSgYLNOlOl6EzUcdHrs/s640/115801799_1589218607904455_5447532814836108993_n.jpg" width="526" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Today in Goderich</span></td></tr>
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She says:</div>
<ul>
<li>I love you so much that I can't even stand it.</li>
<li>I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much - With her hands outstretched.</li>
<li>I love you like a crazy person!!</li>
<li>Mum... You are just so fluuuuuufffyyyy.</li>
<li>I love you so much that I neeeeed to take a bite out of you.</li>
<li>Mom you are so great that I feel like I need to eat your arm like a beaver.</li>
<li>I love you so much that I can't even control myself - As she squeezes my neck so hard that it hurts.</li>
<li>MOOOOOOM I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAAAZZZEEEEE.</li>
<li>Mom you are so soft and warm like a kitty cat - She says as she cuddles into me.</li>
<li>The most outrageous one that she said today.... MOM, I love you so much that I would be sad if you went to jail. Haha.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgob1PuIxdsqljHIjge0uUJa3yGsKHnr02SRNZ-Q70yqn_vFAJzMCfo_zlcWkeYFE3bb0SLSrlIe60r-kLXMM2KvW1-kHuaRQ31P8cmk3OaThQHLy408JOYem-mqK_TVgQPmvwU9yTPsog/s1600/111499242_676589439593379_4601377724668247901_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="838" data-original-width="749" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgob1PuIxdsqljHIjge0uUJa3yGsKHnr02SRNZ-Q70yqn_vFAJzMCfo_zlcWkeYFE3bb0SLSrlIe60r-kLXMM2KvW1-kHuaRQ31P8cmk3OaThQHLy408JOYem-mqK_TVgQPmvwU9yTPsog/s640/111499242_676589439593379_4601377724668247901_n.jpg" width="572" /></a></div>
This happens everyday at least once, often a few times. She squeezes me and kisses me for 5 minutes straight yelling in my ear how much she loves me. She is sincere. There is no ice cream waiting at the other end either. (:<br />
<br />
Like all of my kids, she is one of a kind and we cherish her for her quirkiness. I love her like crazy person. I whisper... Ken says that she is exactly like me. Poor Ken. Hahaha. (: <br />
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<br />Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-53884513288073652542020-06-01T09:22:00.001-04:002021-04-03T13:26:25.309-04:00Resting in the Mystery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbpJsCZhTb_rVRZIYEW9yji7F6Ws-d0vBzCl9DwBr6wnJib5WiihUf5_gZ9cImJtkODyWQou1wH6GRkHBI0kUve7vV3F1wLVld9x9GcpcLvTVKwhZsptQPtZhLD6V5aeXvEwP3_AquFd0/s1600/101790970_1326274994235231_4093347284719239168_n.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="280" data-original-width="344" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbpJsCZhTb_rVRZIYEW9yji7F6Ws-d0vBzCl9DwBr6wnJib5WiihUf5_gZ9cImJtkODyWQou1wH6GRkHBI0kUve7vV3F1wLVld9x9GcpcLvTVKwhZsptQPtZhLD6V5aeXvEwP3_AquFd0/s320/101790970_1326274994235231_4093347284719239168_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-3d2a5319-7fff-926e-a347-f3bb24133dfc" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I've been diving into the Word since January. It excites me. I could be the poster girl for bible reading strugglers. In the past, I could easily go for a few weeks without opening my bible on my own. I would feel awful about it, but not always bad enough to pick it up. Now if I go one or two days, I am drawn back like I am being physically pulled. It has become a want, a desire and a must. Through the years, I have had seasons that I have been more faithful than others, but if I had to do a summary of my life, I would give myself a failing grade. It's not natural for me. I have fought with it forever and it's always been heavy on my shoulders. I have deeply loved the Lord for a long time and I still don't understand why I don't naturally gravitate to His Word. We started bible reading accountability groups at church for the ladies and it's been an incredible blessing. There are 6-8 to a group and most of the groups have Facebook pages and we read together and share about what we have read. I love my ladies. My bible is getting read and marked up like never before. I have grown in love for the Lord and His Word. When I pick my bible up, I actually feel affection for it - Like it's a dear friend. I am falling in love with the gospel all over again. I am sure my struggle will pop up again in the future and I will have to fight for it again, but right now I am so thankful for the love of reading my bible. (Our group is doing </span><a href="https://www.challies.com/articles/the-bible-reading-plan-ill-be-using-in-2020/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">this</span></a><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> five day reading plan that Challies recommended. It's a-mazing and well put together. Game changer. Manageable. Delightful. For real.)</span></span></span></span></div>
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />
<div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last Monday, the Revive our Hearts podcast was at the top of my podcast download list. I haven't listened to ROH for a long time, but I just clicked on it because I wanted something to listen to while I did 4rth meal dishes from Sunday night. Nancy was starting a series on Psalm 131 and it's amazing to see how the Lord works in His providence. I needed this series so badly. Truthfully, I don't think I have ever actually read Psalm 131 or if I have, I didn't really take notice of it. It's short and beautiful. </span></div>
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />
<h3 dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 24.41px; margin-bottom: 10.66px; margin-top: 20px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I Have Calmed and Quieted My Soul (ESV)</span></h3>
<h4 dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 32.91px; margin-bottom: 10.66px; margin-top: 14.66px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Song of Ascents. Of David.</span></h4>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">131 </span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: small-caps; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lord</span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, my heart is not lifted up;</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 6.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">my eyes are not raised too high;</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I do not occupy myself with things</span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 6.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">too great and too marvelous for me.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></b><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 28.8px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I have calmed and quieted my soul,</span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 6.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">like a weaned child with its mother;</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 6.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">like a weaned child is my soul within me.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></b><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br /></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O Israel, hope in the </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: small-caps; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lord</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 6.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">from this time forth and forevermore.</span></span></span></span></div>
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />
<div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like everyone else, our lives have had seasons of hard. The last 13 years have been a rollercoaster of major highs and major lows. So much so, that when we moved back to St Thomas I struggled a lot to live in the mundane. I didn't know what that looked like. It had been so long and I was used to feeling deeply at either end. At the end of our cancer years, it took us years to heal, but God gave us answers. He revealed some of his purposes - I am sure not all. The Lord used the hard to change us. It was obvious. We got to keep Micah and learn all the lessons. We were spared a lot of pain and sorrow while reaping the beauty of the lessons. That's something I think about often and praise Him for. In a way, things were buttoned up. </span></div>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;">O<span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ur lives changed direction some years ago and we experienced pain, confusion and upheaval. I have been asking the Lord and some wise people -How do you live with something that you don't understand, especially when you know that you were being obedient in following Him? All of the doors opened and He gave such peace and blessed the journey in many ways. When you gave up so much to be obedient and humanly it seemed like it was all for nothing and you are still living with the fallout of those sacrifices, it's so hard and discouraging. How do you process that? It just doesn't seem like it was supposed to be this way. How do you live with unresolved hurt that you can't fix from your end? There is a time and a place to grieve, ask and wrestle with these struggles. But the answer is not intellectually complex. Trust. Submit.</span></span></span></span></div><div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5_uQ8B1Te5un2wNw-dKPsdGb-7jYftW5hbmxrJKrE7HBXPK3gYnuyaEBpbG8l0Wjz9yJYvt3si_lGnIT-w476Ts4DwKloA0ajuDhRTYfRVryCQ1U3i_AnKCYARgPCRUXlPt293CQ9Zvc/s750/167483875_452838395926813_1226261713752520962_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; white-space: normal;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="750" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5_uQ8B1Te5un2wNw-dKPsdGb-7jYftW5hbmxrJKrE7HBXPK3gYnuyaEBpbG8l0Wjz9yJYvt3si_lGnIT-w476Ts4DwKloA0ajuDhRTYfRVryCQ1U3i_AnKCYARgPCRUXlPt293CQ9Zvc/w640-h284/167483875_452838395926813_1226261713752520962_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a sign we had made. It's one of my favorites. </td></tr></tbody></table><div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></span></span></div>
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />
<div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Knowing and believing the answer is one thing. But putting it into practice is sometimes so hard even after being shown in extraordinary ways who God is over and over. This week, God gave me these podcasts on Psalm 131 to reorient me. He even waited until I was so hungry for His Word that I would need to open it and study it.</span></div>
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What I learned is not new to me, but somehow it was all made new. These next thoughts are all from Nancy.</span></div>
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<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Be humble. </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Who am I?</span> <span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t be proud or be quick to find fault with others.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Humility leads to quietness.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t wrestle with things that are too high for us or that we will never know the answer to.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Calming and quieting is something that we need to do actively.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Speak to our souls and direct our desires to Christ.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Think on the truths of scriptures and the faithfulness of God. </span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Counsel our hearts according to the Word of God.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our goal is to be weaned.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Un-weaned: angry, unsettled, want the world to go my way, fair weather friend - only serving God for what He can give me when things go right, impatient.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Weaned - resting, joy, peace, calm, waiting, humble, comforted, secure in Christ and his faithfulness.</span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hope is active and a command -"O Belinda, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forever more.</span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"</span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666;">God has never failed me. He is so faithful.</span></span></li>
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<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />
<div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have been vacillating between knowing the right answers, hurting, trusting, feeling hopeful, remembering who God is and feeling super frustrated that I can't put this behind me. But this Psalm has become a balm for me. It doesn't magically fix everything, but it has put me right side up and has made me say,</span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I will rest in the mystery and pain. </span></span></span></span></div>
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />
<div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ordinarily, this post would stay in my draft list. It's personal and it makes me feel more vulnerable then ever to share. I have been struggling with these words for a week, but I can't rest until I share this post. Maybe someone else is hurting and needs to be pointed to this Psalm. Maybe someone needs to know that they aren't alone in the struggle of looking back and wondering why our lives don't look like we had planned. Maybe it’s loss, sickness, regret, a marriage that didn’t turn out to be what you were hoping for, longing for marriage or children or maybe it's something completely different. If this post had to be shared for you, take heart my dear friend. (Preaching to myself too) Despite the hard, the sadness and confusion, God is so good and so tender. He is doing something behind the scenes that we don't understand and can't see. The pain might be so acute, but be hopeful through your tears and aching that it's for your good and His glory. Someday, He will make all things right and so beautifully new and I am here right beside you longing for that day. But until then, we can trust in God's faithfulness and wise providence. </span></div><div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC0D3ypOsSUbYXwzgo2cX5WqM9v8Q7hhqlZR47bXjBByIzAM7Itfrpyo5LziLmCQrHlx9Wao-C7CosEE5ijgKT_TYCDLFaZV5RyOhP1wQiuVWGJkbbtTLgjbJaHIfDSirNcEx3RbgqZPw/s916/167343626_383576436314575_2536946982065833825_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="916" data-original-width="749" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC0D3ypOsSUbYXwzgo2cX5WqM9v8Q7hhqlZR47bXjBByIzAM7Itfrpyo5LziLmCQrHlx9Wao-C7CosEE5ijgKT_TYCDLFaZV5RyOhP1wQiuVWGJkbbtTLgjbJaHIfDSirNcEx3RbgqZPw/w524-h640/167343626_383576436314575_2536946982065833825_n.jpg" width="524" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My second favourite. He is making all things new. </td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.08px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike><span style="color: #444444;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span face=""verdana" , sans-serif"></span></strike>Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-40800495218459497182020-05-26T09:12:00.001-04:002020-05-26T16:08:56.104-04:00Jehovah Rohi<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was on facebook the other day and saw something that 10 years out, still struck me deep inside. I follow pages like Sick Kids, Truth 365 and a few other pages that fall into the same category. I saw <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvNF0yFUcx0&list=RDCMUCleVfdmpkf7H5tnRRw7n39A&index=2">this video<span style="color: #002000;">.</span></a> I watched it and I cried. Ken cried too. It was just so familiar. No matter how much time passes, those kinds of tears are never forgotten. The elevator mom, the hospital hall mom, the mom in the car, the shower mom, the kitchen table mom, the mom in the bed - All me. When the mom got out of the car loaded down with a little suitcase and all of her stuff - That just felt so familiar. </span><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The mom standing in the back of the elevator, wiping her tears and straightening her shoulders as she walked out to go back to her child's room was a very real thing. </span><span style="display: inline; float: none; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don't share this for sympathy. I share because I have written a lot of posts about our cancer years, but I could never successfully convey the depth of these feelings. It's impossible to put them into words. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The video is titled: Mom Strong. It really should be titled: God Strong. He was the One. Not me. Not Ken. He gave us our next breath and enabled us to take our next step when things were really hard. When my heart hurt so much that it actually hurt physically, He wrapped His arms around me and took that physical and emotional pain. He helped me walk out of the elevator, get out of bed, open that car door and haul all of our stuff up to Micah's room. </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> He was so gracious. So tender. So wise. So loving. So incredibly faithful. So</span><span style="color: #666666; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> I mostly share because it reminds me of who God was to us and who God still is to us. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We had a sermon that was such a beautiful word for me a few weeks ago. It was on Psalm 119:71.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> "<i><b>It was good for that I was afflicted; that I might learn your statutes." </b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The context of the sermon was reflecting and encouraging for the time that we are in now. We have concerns. If Micah would get covid, it potentially could be a really tough time for him, but at this point it's not a major hardship like for others. This sermon took me back in time.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The verb in that verse is past tense. You rarely, if ever can say during a time of trial - Yep this is great. I am learning so much! Most often it's when the darkness passes that you can look back at what the Lord has done. During this sermon, I cried many quiet tears. I have often said that it was good that we were afflicted. To have it put into words was so good for me. I was flooded with thankfulness. It's not because Micah is alive. The Lord is good in life and in death. It's because we experienced first hand God's faithfulness. We could feel Him walking shoulder to shoulder with us. He held us so close that we could feel Him. He provided. He taught us and grew us. He ministered to us in the darkest of times. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666;">This video and this sermon, both pointed me straight to my heavenly Father. My Redeemer. My Most High God (El Elyon).</span><span style="color: #666666;"> My Master (Adonai). My Healer (Jehovah Rapha). My God Who Sees (El Roi). My Provider (Jehovah Jireh). My All Sufficient One (El Shaddai). My Peace (Jehovah Shalom). My Sanctifier (Jehovah Mekoddishkem). My Righteousness (Jehovah Tsidkenu). My Everlasting God (El Olan). <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">My Shepherd (Jehovah Rohi).</span></span></span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br /></div>
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Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-75935312929500968992020-04-20T11:28:00.000-04:002020-04-20T22:13:52.789-04:00I know a little girl...I know a little girl...<br />
<br />
Who started out looking like this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdFxOj8IMo7q3MDy141t6ISh09tjb1-VMseQJ-Hk0twTzPEUeBAk1hGtzvnAgJFhp6wTidQ36T_Z3IF3LphzksxpLL15PUrCwsOJTTc0ZqZ4ooVrmFi-JWJGuJxovtgLwNmcDm1Y4shfY/s1600/94116952_162653821706794_2735553469271244800_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="750" height="638" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdFxOj8IMo7q3MDy141t6ISh09tjb1-VMseQJ-Hk0twTzPEUeBAk1hGtzvnAgJFhp6wTidQ36T_Z3IF3LphzksxpLL15PUrCwsOJTTc0ZqZ4ooVrmFi-JWJGuJxovtgLwNmcDm1Y4shfY/s640/94116952_162653821706794_2735553469271244800_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
And this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS5DjErK4pNUAW4JA5QT36TBfmVr6ry865-x8IxxTzbPaBuBMBXPDrzHwO_1GW9JVmxxThfa3iAe2SofspmHLwG3RsaDqSzy5KXhQtNjyohbjH5e_eHlCjAtpSz1wgN_vzIlnTmlVV6jg/s1600/93865617_645142219383187_4035555901296345088_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="489" data-original-width="750" height="416" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS5DjErK4pNUAW4JA5QT36TBfmVr6ry865-x8IxxTzbPaBuBMBXPDrzHwO_1GW9JVmxxThfa3iAe2SofspmHLwG3RsaDqSzy5KXhQtNjyohbjH5e_eHlCjAtpSz1wgN_vzIlnTmlVV6jg/s640/93865617_645142219383187_4035555901296345088_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Who rolls her eyes back into her head and sighs when she eats strawberries and whipped cream<br />
<br />
Who jumps up when she heard the pastor say that Jesus is alive again and whispered with wide eyes, "HE'S ALIVE!!!!"<br />
<br />
Who runs to me and says, "I have very bad news." Then with such expression and emotion she will tell me something that is distressing to her or she will tattle on the big kids if they are doing something that she knows that I wouldn't like. Often she ends with, "Actually!!" (with her hands up in the air)<br />
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Who runs to me and says, "I have fantastic news!!!" Then she will tell me something that she thinks is amazing. It often ends with actually too.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: #666666;">Who can dance extremely well. Like for real. It's surprising. </span></span><br />
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br />
Who doesn't like dirt anymore. If she spills, gets wet or if I take her off the counter with wet hands, things go bad quickly.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi16KVLPMPgOUzqcgkY3JZ83eoK_ZYd5Wbg2hHK52Jyw1McJ6CBGBGOtYqV6GtUwveIVdlt43owMuH450yoHFaElkAZZ1RUpUy1ZUKkGjcfhw8jFn9Dnsme1uNnqcsjWN48e7dBxDrKfac/s1600/93505549_671199663452123_5940580411984838656_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="683" data-original-width="750" height="582" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi16KVLPMPgOUzqcgkY3JZ83eoK_ZYd5Wbg2hHK52Jyw1McJ6CBGBGOtYqV6GtUwveIVdlt43owMuH450yoHFaElkAZZ1RUpUy1ZUKkGjcfhw8jFn9Dnsme1uNnqcsjWN48e7dBxDrKfac/s640/93505549_671199663452123_5940580411984838656_n.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
Who asks: Since Jesus is alive, can I talk to Him and He talk back?<br />
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Who has always loved kittens<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7nNRLTldWhC-aXghcdiVgc_a5EvDfoVOj33FMIiPnREUW0M5rp7Feh4-uMhb_6iV4yMUuY-JirSvw_00As4muknQdBktXcTgWMMU2F2p_8tVkgBn6sSOCF0l8fOAc5jdmM-JELjxI3dU/s1600/94148715_2316105968683149_675567345996922880_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7nNRLTldWhC-aXghcdiVgc_a5EvDfoVOj33FMIiPnREUW0M5rp7Feh4-uMhb_6iV4yMUuY-JirSvw_00As4muknQdBktXcTgWMMU2F2p_8tVkgBn6sSOCF0l8fOAc5jdmM-JELjxI3dU/s640/94148715_2316105968683149_675567345996922880_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
And babies<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFNH9Q7Dle1RyyarNYx9bbppDI_gpHEiync42C1LglMAb6W2y5RLJg-L5DcAo1y83v4SHPylov25b3iCQkhLrbYRCed1eE1N9O40tLP0SB_QnUdV0WVXxybR7untA5KAoXbHPcKF7bcAY/s1600/94206964_335292247454984_6949037792487800832_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="729" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFNH9Q7Dle1RyyarNYx9bbppDI_gpHEiync42C1LglMAb6W2y5RLJg-L5DcAo1y83v4SHPylov25b3iCQkhLrbYRCed1eE1N9O40tLP0SB_QnUdV0WVXxybR7untA5KAoXbHPcKF7bcAY/s640/94206964_335292247454984_6949037792487800832_n.jpg" width="486" /></a></div>
<br />
Who looks at the ceiling and says sorry to God for being bad.<br />
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Who if she falls or hurts herself will yell, "I'm OK!" right away. She is used to me yelling, "You OK?" She always beats me to it.<br />
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Who is quick to come to me to ask for forgiveness- Often even before I apologize to her for being sharp with her during our altercation.<br />
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Who turned 4 last month<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1MmnfnnTdjqq1KcAJRGYCoQBMY9vwgA3CtGYHgCCA3SGNtIiUx4Bir7DrzhiA_F41aB8Y8zHc11gRVsyzOQ2l3yXU0whhIm-JEO6cBAeZbej-bMuayHsIDMim3PN9tft4TjpYAZE11D0/s1600/93476944_222581812491755_4023985706077519872_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="655" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1MmnfnnTdjqq1KcAJRGYCoQBMY9vwgA3CtGYHgCCA3SGNtIiUx4Bir7DrzhiA_F41aB8Y8zHc11gRVsyzOQ2l3yXU0whhIm-JEO6cBAeZbej-bMuayHsIDMim3PN9tft4TjpYAZE11D0/s640/93476944_222581812491755_4023985706077519872_n.jpg" width="436" /></a></div>
<br />
Who has always wanted a piñata for her birthday, but didn't have the heart to break it with a bat. After one hit, she asked if she could keep her and just pull the candy out of the bottom.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIEDr9S-qvHg9Gi__1xpKJfFDEse9tNIgNQqRvLxcE9WXqGo3Lx576NMnAvc4VIp3eExBXMMCUuahqsbtN6RlWHmjAPPc5kitfFcmQqW5f2KDGrNHT7z2qnamB2zInoOM4xXHqn8HKezc/s1600/92460794_1661803700626534_7019137525683847168_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="612" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIEDr9S-qvHg9Gi__1xpKJfFDEse9tNIgNQqRvLxcE9WXqGo3Lx576NMnAvc4VIp3eExBXMMCUuahqsbtN6RlWHmjAPPc5kitfFcmQqW5f2KDGrNHT7z2qnamB2zInoOM4xXHqn8HKezc/s640/92460794_1661803700626534_7019137525683847168_n.jpg" width="408" /></a></div>
<br />
Who comes out of her room in the morning and sometimes says "Surprise" with her arms spread wide, like she is a new gift every morning<br />
<br />
Who while sitting between Ken and I during church on Sunday, put our hands together so we were holding hands, then kissed both our arms and looked into both our eyes with a reassuring nod.<br />
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Who is the only one in the family to have curly hair<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixhKDHWeP7d4u0LfAA59UKqGRqs1ohQox2pi8XuWfb5b-v0RdSP5poV7lxMlrr2arf4Tx8z_x8eRbyuL2ee_iM4uF8t3vQ6UxYZV4Uuc-AFgNypHRFOvJ3CBEdEBD4VPIFVWHr7rJlB0U/s1600/67769544_2287980921249337_7036288090305986560_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="806" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixhKDHWeP7d4u0LfAA59UKqGRqs1ohQox2pi8XuWfb5b-v0RdSP5poV7lxMlrr2arf4Tx8z_x8eRbyuL2ee_iM4uF8t3vQ6UxYZV4Uuc-AFgNypHRFOvJ3CBEdEBD4VPIFVWHr7rJlB0U/s640/67769544_2287980921249337_7036288090305986560_n.jpg" width="536" /></a><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
Who runs and hugs our legs every time Ken and I hug.<br />
<br />
Who wants to be included in all things big.<br />
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Who likes to draw and color and who says, "Mom, look I drew a picture of you!!" lol<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIoB6DpEHxiB9bUsP7PNZEUPSvzS6W_CVyDy8-ZUrI10sNx0VaD2cBmXMtsJ3hyPfLcgvMdvuehxAb4EgtTSkgtVsJmDtLDdqiuFwdJGSPVJzb9i2IJYOMFtmZpS64emdQPj6V5Rc6qHA/s1600/93885232_167493624485941_1505239450014187520_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIoB6DpEHxiB9bUsP7PNZEUPSvzS6W_CVyDy8-ZUrI10sNx0VaD2cBmXMtsJ3hyPfLcgvMdvuehxAb4EgtTSkgtVsJmDtLDdqiuFwdJGSPVJzb9i2IJYOMFtmZpS64emdQPj6V5Rc6qHA/s640/93885232_167493624485941_1505239450014187520_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
Who screams and jumps up and down when she is happy.<br />
<br />
Who knows that she is an American and seems to take pride in being different - "I was born in the States!"<br />
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<span style="color: #666666;">Who is actually starting to enjoy food. It's about time!! (:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #999999;"></span><span style="color: #999999;"></span><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"></span><br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1CED87_0-WV0hZV_vD7Z7ZNL0CMat7D_91WNVNuwX4FKB4tHIyqEsfnCspH0BfRlVjFeDp7KIPcfAyOozYzuHll12u__FH-YUoH2-f2SQP1WF9dZO7Cv8cm0EV4kHEJd0TrR9SK5HQCw/s1600/94135797_223511492080534_4705239799227744256_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="674" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1CED87_0-WV0hZV_vD7Z7ZNL0CMat7D_91WNVNuwX4FKB4tHIyqEsfnCspH0BfRlVjFeDp7KIPcfAyOozYzuHll12u__FH-YUoH2-f2SQP1WF9dZO7Cv8cm0EV4kHEJd0TrR9SK5HQCw/s640/94135797_223511492080534_4705239799227744256_n.jpg" width="448" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">Who asks: Where is God? I love Him the most and want to hug Him and give Him a kiss.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="color: #666666;"></span><br />
Who still could use a nap some afternoons<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbSIDDP8MUgAh3jj0dXCRql8EjU0aFdazCvqo0qvSc2P_3xSzzIszxfr7p6lnK5OLVPttgPHKJVBvKYyDFX08-ENzHB9Hk6HeyOxV7v82HK7vku5UySuBUHQn-kad-LdfCkoUuSq2nqKU/s1600/94210718_521755068730228_2005681475906699264_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbSIDDP8MUgAh3jj0dXCRql8EjU0aFdazCvqo0qvSc2P_3xSzzIszxfr7p6lnK5OLVPttgPHKJVBvKYyDFX08-ENzHB9Hk6HeyOxV7v82HK7vku5UySuBUHQn-kad-LdfCkoUuSq2nqKU/s640/94210718_521755068730228_2005681475906699264_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
I could keep going, but this is Tessa in a nutshell. She is spunky and crazy. She is high maintenance. She is sensitive and her heart is so tender. She wants to know everything she can about God and loves Him fiercely. She loves her brothers and sisters so much too. Although, she is not as cute as she used to be to them. She has started to get in the way and bugs them sometimes. It may be because we are all spending excessive time together right now! (:<br />
<br />
She loves me differently. It's special and so deep. It's part her personality. It could be because she is the youngest. It could also be because I have given more of me to her - I am a different parent than I was when the others were little. She has a big personality and is very expressive and says what she is thinking. She talks A LOT, but she doesn't really need to. Her face and body say everything. I am the recipient of many kisses and hugs daily. She leans on me during devotions at the super table and often looks deep into my eyes, winks and whispers in my ear. She tells me how much she loves me. Since she is so physically little, she still sits with me like a someone who is much smaller. She hasn't reached 30 lbs yet. She still has some 18 and 24 months pants. (: <br />
<br />
When I was expecting her, I was excited. Getting to do it again thrilled me. I love being pregnant and giving birth. I am a baby person inside and out, but I was so tired and felt so old. My Oma assured me that it would be one of the best things and that I will be so thankful. We had 6 kids in 18 years and she had 5 kids in 18 years. She knew where I was and what I was feeling. She was right. It's not always easy having a little person with all of our big people, but she is a gift and such a little sunshine. She makes me laugh so many times every single day. We are kindred spirits. I go to Oma's house to give her meds throughout the week and almost every single day she asks me - Did I tell you? Was I right? Lots of kids is the best and you have to have them to know it!! (:<br />
<br />
In 5 years our house will look very different. Josh will be 27, Micah, 23, Nat 21, Si, 19, Grace 15, and Tessa 9. The oldest four could be either off on their own or in university/college. Grace will be in highschool and the difference in their age will seem vast at 15 and 9. So it's good that we get along as she will be stuck with Ken and I alone for a long time. (wink)<br />
<br />
I adore this little peanut and she is such a special gift from the Lord and we thank Him for giving her to us for these 4 years.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-30168490872092218972020-04-10T08:20:00.001-04:002020-04-10T08:28:24.818-04:00A Picture<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzgUPJQraz5KCfCcBs12wivlkmy5ktGOavCjiU5rWU4llQLLKyd4g208MZnX-QjX8OkhqfDRJ3MH2uAV1w5Sgar4zU0-NHyDnGgUJqjrZmE3m64CUkPBlR8KfzBmlWADifMrd6MBrI2mA/s1600/201770_179417892105661_6660103_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="713" data-original-width="720" height="395" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzgUPJQraz5KCfCcBs12wivlkmy5ktGOavCjiU5rWU4llQLLKyd4g208MZnX-QjX8OkhqfDRJ3MH2uAV1w5Sgar4zU0-NHyDnGgUJqjrZmE3m64CUkPBlR8KfzBmlWADifMrd6MBrI2mA/s400/201770_179417892105661_6660103_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
This picture came up on my memories yesterday on Facebook. It brought instant tears - Not a cry that makes you smile and a few tears come out of the corners your eyes, but a cry that needed to be done alone.<br />
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I saw these two boys in this picture and how young they are here melted my heart. It's hard to believe that they are men already - 18 and 22 today.<br />
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At this time, we were 13 months out of relapse. Micah's surgery was March 25, 2010 and this was April 9, 2011. This past March marked 10 years cancer free for Micah. I have been meaning to write about it, but the words aren't there. I can't find them yet. In April 2011, we were still living 3 months at a time from scan to scan. We had started the healing process that took years to complete, but we were still very broken and tender.<br />
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Seeing this picture immediately put me back there. The one boy suffered physically, mentally and emotionally, but yet the Lord spared him emotional baggage once he was through the physical suffering. But the other boy in this picture, who had just turned 13, suffered much different emotional trauma than Micah. The heaviness he had to deal with was incredible. In a way, sometimes walking beside is more difficult.<br />
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Looking behind the boys, I see Grace's bottles and new sippy cup. She was about 9 months old and with her shining eyes and her chubby dimpled cheeks, she was light of our family. I see Micah's puffer chamber and a little square container that held his puffers and a few meds. Then I see my "Be Still and Know That I am God". I originally put that up because it was sentimental and made me feel warm. Little did I know that looking at that daily would soon become a lifeline for me.<br />
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When it went up before November 2007, I don't think I had ever felt the need to be still or the need to lean into Him with all that I had. I had no idea what it meant to have the Lord close or to fall on my knees with my hands reaching out in desperation asking for Him to help me take the next breath. I had never really experienced true joy in Him, so to experience joy in darkness was something incredible. I simply didn't know.<br />
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Looking at this picture reminds me of where these boys have been, the road our family walked, what He did for me personally and who our tender loving God is. He is faithful and has been and will always be my Shelter.<br />
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br /></span><span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">P<span style="font-family: inherit;">salm 91:1-4a</span></span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High</span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">will abide in the shadow of the Almighty </span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress</span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">my God, in whom I trust."</span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler</span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">and from the deadly pestilence</span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">He will cover you with his pinions</span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-91-1" id="en-ESV-15397" style="box-sizing: border-box;">and under his wings you will find refuge. </span></div>
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Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-53712294355100377252020-04-08T11:08:00.001-04:002020-04-08T11:15:58.345-04:00Covid 19- #3We have done a lot of driving and some walking during this quarantine time. Now that's it's getting warmer, we plan to do more walking. I love taking pictures and tend to just post them on Facebook. My blog has been sorely neglected. I am going to start posting my favorite pictures here again.<br />
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The kids and I went for a walk in St Thomas and ended up at the old rail station in the middle of town. I got some great pictures.<br />
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(Tessa 4, Grace 9, but 10 soon, Siah 14 in two weeks, Natalie 16, Micah 18) </div>
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(Josh isn't here, but he is turning 22 this week. We are not complete without him.)<br />
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This picture of Tessa makes her look like she is 18 months instead of 4. (: </div>
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Port Stanley</div>
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Tessa had a pinata for her 4rth birthday on March 29th. She hit it once, but couldn't bare to break it, so she just pulled the strings at the bottom to get the candy out. I love this look on her face.<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;"> Natalie's 16th on April 2. </span><span style="text-align: center;"> </span><br />
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I went for it and cut quite a few inches off of Grace' hair. It's not brushed and super messy, but we get the picture! I am happy with how it turned out and there are no more knots!!!! Those dimples are delish and I just realized that she is already tanned! (:<br />
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<br />Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-28681855456316123612020-04-06T11:04:00.000-04:002020-04-06T12:49:41.109-04:00Covid-19 - #2There are lots of things that touch me lately - Some are beautiful and some are sad. Here are my top 3 from this week.<br />
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1. There was a wedding that was supposed to happen in May, but they moved it to April before more restrictions could be put into place. Since there are only 5 people allowed in one place at a time, this wedding consisted of the bride, the father of the bride, the groom, the photographer and the pastor. Pastor Joel served as the pianist and the officiant. The photographer was also the witness. The photographer and the groom are cousins. They are also 2nd or 3rd Ken's cousins. Their parents are Ken's 1st or 2nd cousins. Whatever. We are related. 😉<br />
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I watched a video from the ceremony and it was so beautiful. It moved me deep inside and I messy cried. I cried because the church was empty, but more because it was special. The simplicity and purity of the ceremony was something I had never seen before. 2 people, a father, a pastor and a photographer. All the noise was stripped away.<br />
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People were looking in the windows and a whole bunch of people were in the parking lot in their vehicles. When the couple came out, all them were honking and cheering and had signs. Then all of the cars got in a line and drove past the couple and congratulated them. It gave me goosebumps. <br />
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These were my two favourite pictures. Pastor Joel went to the piano and the bride's dad announced them as Mr. and Mrs.<br />
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This one shows all of the cars. I am so thankful that people could still share in their beautiful day. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfAnpfGTPQGLbH87M2dH8wfDA-XsfOPI71lRV3vFJUHviDVxt_XyU-6FjK7c3RMZdQ4vEMvCQ6FNXu_1_baHj7l_VANfO_av-a3pgNLkZcI7p0hymP1RlK_wYEjF3be6r1ua1IeoICYqM/s1600/92320229_507503019928005_235657635691495424_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfAnpfGTPQGLbH87M2dH8wfDA-XsfOPI71lRV3vFJUHviDVxt_XyU-6FjK7c3RMZdQ4vEMvCQ6FNXu_1_baHj7l_VANfO_av-a3pgNLkZcI7p0hymP1RlK_wYEjF3be6r1ua1IeoICYqM/s640/92320229_507503019928005_235657635691495424_n.jpg" width="640" /></a>Used with permission from : <a href="ttps://www.facebook.com/toribrookephotography/">Tori Brooke Photography </a><br />
Here is a link to the video I watched: <a href="https://toribrookephotography.com/blog/2020/4/4/curt-amp-ariel?fbclid=IwAR2Bzfhh1cN2S4IwQdU-6e_5q91ba87plOjoGoPONiVfIjqERgLgtvT3XAY">Curtis and Ariel</a><br />
I love her work. (:<br />
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2. The nurses and doctors and so amazing. We are so thankful for their service. They are like the soldiers in this war. While we are at home living our lives in comfort, they are going to work with lots of concerns weighing on their shoulders. Last week, a ton of emergency vehicles drove to the hospital. They blocked off the road and drove through the turn around in front of the hospital. They all had lights and sirens on to show support for the hospital staff. I couldn't help but tear up. This picture is a bit fuzzy because it's a screen shot from a video. But it gives you the picture.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQJK7eSM2bf3oRPlHhIWmSikVIvIuvxSI6z4uONZeYoxXCRO7pWaQ5KJ4wFowcoRNtuMlInFLBGjr_nbQg0kQZqV7awuXlZ4mhc4TDSRmEdAhukTLrlMSXvuKfko7qCj1crvDU9wrAbXc/s1600/92333492_964346867301456_2150479078451314688_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="526" data-original-width="694" height="484" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQJK7eSM2bf3oRPlHhIWmSikVIvIuvxSI6z4uONZeYoxXCRO7pWaQ5KJ4wFowcoRNtuMlInFLBGjr_nbQg0kQZqV7awuXlZ4mhc4TDSRmEdAhukTLrlMSXvuKfko7qCj1crvDU9wrAbXc/s640/92333492_964346867301456_2150479078451314688_n.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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3. Sundays- I miss church. I miss my people. I miss gathering. I miss the singing. I miss the preaching in person. Tessa misses Sunday school. I even miss our loud fellowship hall. haha! For those of you who don't go to our church, while the kids are in Sunday school, we have coffee in a room that we call the Fellowship hall. It's so loud in there that at times we are yelling at each other. My hearing isn't great, so I sometimes have to resort to reading lips.<br />
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When I am watching online with my family in the living room on Sundays, quiet tears often fall just at the beginning of the service. I know that our church family is watching with us and that is a comfort, but it still makes me ache. My church family and worshiping together is one of the most precious gifts that the Lord has given me. I have never taken it for granted. It's something that I have always treasured, but I think this has made me even more aware. I am extra thankful for social media and technology right now.<br />
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<br />Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-31958579064216816582020-04-05T20:48:00.001-04:002020-04-06T11:09:45.661-04:00Covid -19 -#1<div>
One day, we will look back at this time and wonder what we were feeling. I am going to start putting stuff down. It won't be beautiful. It's just going to be jots and thoughts </div>
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This is what was going on April 2, 2020</div>
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<li> Gas prices 66.9</li>
<li>School cancelled since March 23 until May 1st at least</li>
<li>Self-distancing measures on the rise.</li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Tape on the floors at grocery stores and other stores to help distance shoppers 2m (6ft) from each other.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Limited number of people inside stores, therefore lineups outside the store doors.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed. But they are allowed to deliver and do curb pick up. </span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Parks are closed. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Major league sports have been put on hold. Movies have delayed releases. </span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events - cancelled.</span></li>
<li>F<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">amily celebrations, holiday gatherings - cancelled.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">People are getting married in the middle of the week (I know of 2) or moving their dates up before more restrictions come.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Churches are closed.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, now 5 or more.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Don't socialize with anyone outside of your home.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Children's outdoor play parks are closed.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">We are to distance from each other.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">In Can</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">ada:</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers.</span></li>
<li>S<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">hortage of ventilators for the critically ill may come.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Some people are panic buying and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towel no laundry soap, no hand sanitizer. Although, it's getting better. </span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Shelves are bare, but being re-stocked with lots of limits. </span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Government closes the border to all non-essential travel, calls Canadians home and makes it mandatory to self isolate for 14 days.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Fines are established for breaking the rules.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Press conferences daily from Prime Minister Trudeau and Doug Ford. </span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Barely anyone in the street or on the roads.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">People wearing masks and gloves outside.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Essential service workers are struggle to go to work.</span></li>
<li><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families and are living apart in some cases</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">.</span></li>
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This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020.</div>
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Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335020495274770816.post-64938247118228337382020-03-31T17:27:00.000-04:002020-03-31T21:24:04.564-04:00Strange Times<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Port Bruce</span><br />
We find ourselves in strange times. Ken has wanted me to journal these days so that we can look back and remember, but I haven't had the brain space. We have 8 people home the majority of the time. It's going remarkably well considering we have a very small house and it's not meant to house this many people all at the same time, all the time!<br />
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I am used to having 3 kids home all day every day. Schooling my littles hasn't changed. But for Natalie and Micah, like the rest of the Christian schools, they are learning at home. We are so thankful that the kids can continue their courses. It would be pretty tough if the kids didn't get credits, especially Micah since he is in grade 12. The adjustment is pretty steep for the teachers as well as the kids. It will all iron out. Everyone needs extra grace. (:<br />
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I am thankful that our lives are relatively stable. Ken still has a job. All of my school kids are still learning. Josh is temporarily out of work, but that will right itself in time. I feel for the families who have 1 or 2 parents out of work and are struggling to make ends meet. Even though I very much support the government and think it’s wise to shut things down, I am sad for the businesses that are not deemed essential services - The ones that have worked so hard to be successful and to get where they are and the ones that are just at the beginning of their business venture. Who knows what this will look like for them. They could lose something they worked so hard for. That is a very hard reality.<br />
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My heart is aching for those who have lost or will lose loved ones. The thought of people dying alone hurts my heart. For them, this time won't be remembered as the days that we all had to stay home or the time that the kids didn't go to school. It won't be the time that they lost thousands in revenue from their business. It will be the time that they lost someone they loved and to make it even harder, goodbyes were most likely not done in person. I can't even imagine. My heart longs to go to the hospital and sit with people. I couldn't because I have a Micah and because they simply wouldn't let me. But the desire is so strong for me.<br />
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I find myself near tears a lot, especially when I am driving down our main street or on Sunday morning. I cry not because I am scared. I'm not. <b>Things may seem uncertain, but I am confident. God is King. He is still on His throne and that will never change. Our lives and times are in His hands and so is the economy. Despite the hard and the sad, we can lean into the truth that He is faithful. Always faithful. Trustworthy. Dependable. </b>I think I cry because in someway I am grieving. Everything just stopped - school, volleyball, baseball conditioning, catechism, youth group, junior life guard, homeschool co-op etc. We miss fellowship with others. Church. I miss church so much. I long to be with my people and worship together. Online is a privilege, but it's not the same as sitting shoulder to shoulder. That will be one sweet day when we are back together.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivQI8WxuZQwN7z4zEJ6y7l6xTC-qF8gBss9v5JN4kx5Kvm_3cM5fQ5fYmWAcoPvjFmqMQabzPbj26rp-9EzgxlQ_JfEyH8LeELAuaYO7XqXtC8j3KHPN3txfBwIvKVPD2T-v-yarrPGwI/s1600/91465038_2789196124461145_3834438761966469120_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="486" data-original-width="960" height="324" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivQI8WxuZQwN7z4zEJ6y7l6xTC-qF8gBss9v5JN4kx5Kvm_3cM5fQ5fYmWAcoPvjFmqMQabzPbj26rp-9EzgxlQ_JfEyH8LeELAuaYO7XqXtC8j3KHPN3txfBwIvKVPD2T-v-yarrPGwI/s640/91465038_2789196124461145_3834438761966469120_o.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Port Stanley</span><br />
We do a lot of driving to get out. We are water people, so we often drive to the lake. The pictures in this post are my favourites from Sunday. They are totally unedited. It was that beautiful. When we go places, like the beach, we will get out and walk if there aren't a lot of people. We keep our distance from others. People often look at the 7 of us and wonder why we aren't social distancing. I watch them looking at all the kids and then they look at us. They usually figure out that we are a family, but they give us a wide berth. On one of our walks by the harbor, I saw a few couples turn around so they didn't have to pass us even though there was a huge amount of space. I get it. Sometimes I look at families walking by and count their kids because they look like they have a 15, but it's actually only 6 like us. (wink) On Sunday afternoon, the wind was gusty and the sun kept peaking through the clouds teasing me. The wind was freezing and so fierce that we could hardly talk to each other at points. <b>But the majesty of God in the wind and the waves was breath taking.</b> It brings tears to my eyes just writing about it. The God who controls the wind and the waves, is the same God who has known me from the beginning of time, who is in control right now and who cares for me more than I can begin to understand. So incomprehensible. So beautiful.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Port Stanley</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span><br />Belindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05668714449544283433noreply@blogger.com1